Unlocking Potential Through Love and Acceptance, with Patricia Sheridan

Children Need Adults Who Believe in Their Possibilities

Patricia Sheridan’s journey in transforming children’s services in Scotland is nothing short of remarkable. As founder of the Moore House Group, her story begins with a simple yet powerful observation: that children in residential care were not having their potential recognized or nurtured. This realization came when, as a social worker, she was tasked with evaluating residential services across Scotland. What she found was deeply troubling – establishments where staff had little belief in the children’s capabilities, with no drive to measure outcomes or create compensatory curricula for young people struggling with trauma and disadvantage.

Rather than simply filing her report, Patricia took up her director’s challenge to “do something about it” and founded Moore House School in 1988. Her vision was revolutionary for its time: to create an environment where children experienced love, acceptance, and a genuine belief in their potential. This language of care was so uncommon in Scotland at that time that Patricia describes feeling like “a lone voice in the wilderness.” She had to build a network of like-minded professionals who shared her values to support her through the initial challenges.

The growth of the Moore House Group over 38 years reflects Patricia’s commitment to meeting children’s needs in comprehensive ways. From the original residential school serving children with trauma histories and attachment challenges, the organization expanded to include a foster care service (recognizing that institutional care shouldn’t be the only option for children) and later the Jane Moore Trust Trust, a school dedicated to supporting neurodiverse children. Throughout this expansion, Patricia maintained a consistent philosophy: every child has potential that can be unlocked through the right relationships and environment.

What makes Patricia’s approach particularly noteworthy is her emphasis on organizational culture and shared learning. She describes how the entire Moore House “family” – from teachers to care staff to foster carers – receives the same training in attachment theory and trauma-informed approaches. This creates a common language and understanding across all parts of the organization. Patricia herself models lifelong learning, having pursued advanced degrees in education and forensic psychology while leading the organization, demonstrating to staff and children alike the value of continuous growth and development.

Patricia’s approach to neurodiverse children further illustrates her belief that while specific needs may vary, the foundational principles remain the same. Children with neurodiversity, like those with trauma histories, benefit from environments where they feel understood, valued, and supported. The trauma these children experience may come from different sources – educational establishments failing to recognize their needs rather than socioeconomic disadvantage – but the healing process still centers on relationships and belief in potential.

Perhaps most poignant is Patricia’s reflection on how Scotland’s approach to childcare has evolved over her career. The language she once felt isolated for using – speaking of love, relationships, and children’s potential – is now embraced across Scotland’s childcare landscape. The “Promise” initiative she mentions represents a national focus on children’s voices in decision-making and supporting families to nurture their children effectively. While challenges remain, particularly in shifting focus from damage control to prevention, Patricia expresses optimism about the direction of children’s services in Scotland.

The conversation concludes with a profound insight that applies across all educational and care settings: relationships are the vehicle for all healing. Despite the perception that children who have experienced trauma are defensive and difficult to connect with, Patricia emphasizes that establishing meaningful relationships with these children is both possible and essential. By helping children feel worthy, capable, and adequate just as they are, we create the conditions for them to flourish – transforming “impossible” into “I’m possible,” as Patricia so eloquently puts it.

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About Patricia:

Mrs Sheridan established Moore House School in 1988. Her drive was to create a service with her personal mantras “Determined to Deliver Excellence” and “I’m Possible” for young people.

Mrs Sheridan leads the Board of Directors and continues to have a hands-on approach using a range of experiences and techniques to engage with young people to elicit their views on the service they are receiving. Her passion is for young people to be supported by adults who believe in their potential and adults who share the organisational values of respect, integrity and dignity for all.

Mrs Sheridan reminds us that we are responsible for creating trusting relationships and happy memories for our young people. She strives to ensure that our young people experience as many creative, happy, nurturing memories as possible.

Mrs Sheridan continues to strive for excellence and ensures that her passion for high quality services is cascaded throughout the organisation to encourage each and every team member to recognise the important part they play in the wellbeing and progress that our young people experience.

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Transcript:

Colby: 0:00

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast.

Mrs Sheridan: 0:04

And I think for me it was important that I created something that I hadn’t found in Scotland, but I’m delighted to say it’s a language that we use now, a language of love and acceptance and belief in the potential of children, and that we don’t need to be embarrassed about using that language, which 30, 40 years ago, you were shunned for using that language.

Colby: 0:32

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce, and joining me for this episode is a British Care Awards winner and inspirational leader and founder in the field of children’s services. Before I introduce my guest, I’d like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land that I’m meeting on, the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains, and the continuing connection the living Kaurna people feel to land, waters, culture and community. I’d also like to pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. My guest this episode is Patricia Sheridan.

Colby: 1:20

Mrs Sheridan established Moore House in 1988.

Colby: 1:25

Her drive was to create a service with her personal mantras, determined to deliver excellence and I’m possible for young people.

Colby: 1:42

Mrs Sheridan leads the board of directors and continues to have a hands-on approach, using a range of experiences and techniques to engage with young people to elicit their views on the service they are receiving. Her passion is for young people to be supported by adults who believe in their potential and adults who share the organisational values of respect, integrity and dignity for all. Mrs Sheridan reminds us that we are responsible for creating trusting relationships and happy memories for our young people. She strives to ensure that our young people experience as many creative, happy, nurturing memories as possible In terms of her career journey, mrs Sheridan has gathered a range of qualifications she was a registered general and mental health nurse, a qualified social worker and, at a later date, completed an MA in Education and an MSc in Forensic Psychology. Mrs Sheridan continues to strive for excellence and ensures that her passion for high-quality services is cascaded throughout the organisation to encourage each and every team member to recognise the important part they play in the wellbeing and progress that our young people experience. Welcome, patricia.

Mrs Sheridan: 3:14

Good morning. It’s lovely to speak to you again, Colby.

Colby: 3:19

Thank you. So was there anything in that bio that you’d like to expand a little bit upon or add to?

Mrs Sheridan: 3:30

Not really. I think that when I hear it from someone else it sounds a bit pretentious and I can’t believe the journey that I’ve been on. It made sense while I was doing it, but I think it reflects that I’m a lady of age. So, no, I have to accept that’s my journey.

Colby: 3:53

Yeah, and it’s a common reflection when I ask people after I’ve read their bio, particularly when they’ve read it. They’ve been working in the field for such a long time and I think and I was discussing this with another podcast guest only last week reflecting on my own long journey of practice and thinking that perhaps, as we’re doing it, our mind and our focus is on what we’re doing, you know, right now, as it should be, and it’s only when we have these opportunities to pause and reflect that we have a chance to consider the journey in its entirety and how yeah, how long a journey, or how much we’ve achieved across that journey. Indeed. So, patricia, you started Moore House in 1988, Moore House School in 1988. And since then, your operations have expanded into the Moore House Group. I wonder if you don’t mind just to start off with telling us a little bit about each of the areas of endeavour that come under the umbrella of the Moore House Group.

Mrs Sheridan: 5:14

Yes, as you said, colby, my first venture was Moore House School and it was intended to be a small residential and day service for children who had experienced trauma and who were showing attachment challenges. But over the 38 years it has become a school for 32 young people with 14 houses attached to the hub, and it ranges from primary education through to college. So that was my first attempt at trying to show what I believed was the right approach in working with children. I then decided that, because I didn’t believe that children should necessarily be an institutional experience for all of their residential education, I decided to create a foster care service, and my foster care service has become known as permanency and short term, as permanency and short-term, and again, it was intended to work with children with trauma histories. But, like I’m sure you and other people will experience, it takes on a life of its own and it’s become quite a varied group of foster carers.

Mrs Sheridan: 7:05

We have up to 50 foster carers who work with babies up to a young gentleman who is 33, with very complex needs and a special group of conditions that we had never experienced before. So for me, establishing the foster care service seemed to make sense at the time. But it’s grown into a unique organisation on its own and I’m very proud that we in fact are the only organisation in Scotland who has the highest grades of the care inspectorate, and we’ve managed to hold that for two years. So I don’t often allow myself to be very proud, but in that instance I certainly am.

Mrs Sheridan: 8:02

The third organisation that I created was the Jane Moore Trust, and it’s a charity, and it came about because there was a school in Scotland that had closed and it was a school that was working with children with neurodiverse challenges, and so it’s my nature when I get a challenge to try and do something about it. So five years ago we decided that we would open the school again. So we now have a school that works with children who have experience of neurodiverse issues. It’s a small school and we have both primary and secondary children. It has taken quite a time to get established, but we’re beginning to show evidence of our reputation, beginning to expand the pupil numbers. We are registered with the National Association for Autism and again, that for me is a reflection of the quality of what the team’s doing. So, yes, three organisations that keep me busy, but organisations that I’m very proud of and organisations that seem to have made sense to me each time that we established and added on the next organisation. It’s been an interesting journey.

Colby: 9:39

Yeah, it certainly has. What set you on this path, would you say? How did you come to be involved in?

Mrs Sheridan: 9:48

Yeah, I started I was in social work and my director in the local authority asked me to do a report on the residential services that the local authority was using, and so I visited about 12 residential services in Scotland and then I did my report and what I found was really quite sad and disappointing, and I found that the pupils that were in these residential establishments clearly came from a socioeconomic group where families were struggling with poverty and difficulty was that the staff in some of these organisations did not have a belief in the potential of these children and there seemed to be an acceptance that these children couldn’t achieve and there was no drive to measure outcomes or to create a curriculum that would compensate for the difficulties that the young people were bringing into the education field.

Mrs Sheridan: 11:13

And so I had a conversation about the report with my director and, of course, knowing me, he said well, if that’s your findings, I challenge you to do something about it. So I took the challenge on, and my first organisation that I created was Moore House School, and I think for me it was important that I created something that I hadn’t found in Scotland and I wanted to start speaking a language that wasn’t used at that time in Scotland, but I’m delighted to see it’s a language that we use now, a language of love and acceptance and belief in the potential of children. So that was my starting point in working in the residential education sector.

Colby: 12:07

And he lost an employee as well. I’m thinking, pardon, I’m thinking that he lost an employee as well. Your supervisor at the time, who challenged him yes, was he anticipating that he would lose you from the organisation? Yes yes, he was yeah.

Mrs Sheridan: 12:28

Yes, he was a wonderful gentleman and he knew his team, so he knew me obviously.

Colby: 12:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the Moore House School was a residential school. You brought together both a desire to house the young people in a more positive and encouraging way and also to deliver to them education opportunities that focused on unlocking their potential.

Mrs Sheridan: 13:15

Yes, very much so.

Colby: 13:17

And it reminds me very much of an earlier podcast that I had with John Whitwell and I’m not sure if you’ve heard it, but, um, he was talking about the uh, the cotswold community and, um, and he was talking at this point of the podcast particularly about donald winnicott, I think, and and winnicott seeing children as being like bulbs, the growth is within them. You just need to create an environment around them that unlocks that, that allows for that and facilitates that.

Mrs Sheridan: 13:57

Yeah, Very much so yes.

Colby: 14:00

And were there any particular challenges that you’d had along the way in terms of setting up the Moore House School?

Mrs Sheridan: 14:10

Yes, I think the first challenge that I struggled with was there wasn’t a landscape of talking about children in terms of trauma and attachment, and at that time the landscape was very much about control of children, and so I found it difficult a peer group of people, of like-minded people, and so it was a struggle but I thankfully managed to draw together consultants who had the respectability in the field in general, and it was about building a network of people that could share and did share my values and supported me when the going got tough, because sometimes when you’re a lone voice in the wilderness, it can be difficult. So I think the first thing was drawing a peer group together to give me sustenance. That was the first point. The second point, inevitably, was the challenge of being a new entity and not being known and having to establish a reputation. So that threw up financial challenges.

Mrs Sheridan: 15:47

I tell the story of when I first started. We didn’t have a lot of money and I had to go to the bank manager and ask to borrow money to buy a car, which I didn’t buy. The car I had to use the money to pay the wages. So there were early challenges, financial challenges but through time we became established and I think that I was very fortunate that as our reputation grew, so we got the confidence of local authorities and our numbers increased to a place where we became a viable organisation. So it was yes, I wouldn’t say it was a challenge, but it certainly.

Colby: 16:38

It took some courage and energy, but we got there yeah, it’s interesting because you’re not you’re not the first um founder that I’ve spoken to and that who has, um, almost uh, intimated that um, the first priority is to go in the direction that you you wish to go in terms of setting up a service, and you’ve almost got to.

Colby: 17:06

Well, you can hope and pray, I guess, but you’ve got to believe that, as long as you provide and deliver a professional service, a needed service, the money will take care of itself, or the money will follow, and yes, I’ve heard that experience from others, and certainly that’s the way I have practiced for a very long time in my independent practices, the focus being on just the delivery of a professional service and the money will, will, take care of itself. It doesn’t always, though, does it? Yeah, but in the end, perhaps inevitably, yeah, it does, and I really like what you were saying about needing a group of peers, bringing together a group of peers, and the logical implication of that being that even founders and directors of services need to have a reflective group to talk to, to reflect on the work that they do and offer feedback and be offered feedback and guidance.

Colby: 18:31

Yeah heads of organisations I think it’s been the consensus view of other people I’ve spoken to as well should be getting that kind of reflective mentoring, peer mentoring and, if not, full supervision. Yeah, definitely yes.

Mrs Sheridan: 18:53

I think that you can become isolated and I think it’s important that you have the humility to recognise that you may have a passion and you may have a belief, but you need to be open and available for positive criticism if we’re going to grow. If I needed to grow as an individual and the organisations to grow, so we had to have an open and transparent approach to our practice and a willingness to listen to people who had a lot more experience and that had a valuable contribution to make.

Colby: 19:41

And you mentioned that you gathered them from around the place. I’m wondering where did you find them and how do you think what were some of? I guess a bit of a question without notice, but what do you think were some of the more important things that they shared with you that informed your approach to the Moore House school?

Mrs Sheridan: 20:04

Yes, I think the very important relationship for me was that it may come with age, colby, but I was very much into the John Bobies, the John Ashcroft, all these theories of attachment that were not around and being spoken about and used in the early days, and I knew that I wanted my team to be trained and to have a real understanding of what I was trying to convey to them about how we should work with children. And I came across Dan Hughes in America and it sounds a bit pretentious, but I did go over to America to do his DDP attachment course and I just felt at home. For me it was the answer, it was the way that I wanted my staff to understand the work that I was trying to do. So I did the course with Dan in New York, actually came back to Scotland and then I met several of his team who worked both in England and Scotland, and the first person that I established contact with was Edwina Grant, who in fact was the Scottish director for Dan’s DDP organisation.

Mrs Sheridan: 21:49

And Edwina came into our organisation and started to help to introduce the DDP approach and she stayed with us for a number of years and has only recently retired, and so we became an organisation, with Edwina’s support, to start and roll out DDP in Scotland, and we still now offer DDP training to any of the organisations in Scotland that feel that that’s the theoretical approach that they want to use.

Mrs Sheridan: 22:29

So Edwina and Dan’s model theoretical model for me was a really helpful training module that I could use for the team to understand my approach. And so from working with Edwina it’s really been about me going out probably more often doing courses myself, and I came across a course in Ireland with Patrick Tomlinson, so I couldn’t miss that opportunity. So I did a course of which Patrick was a contributor, and then again I established links with Patrick and he now again works with the organisation, and so I’ve been really fortunate in that I’ve been able to be introduced to some really important, impressive, impressionable people impressive people, rather, that for me speak the same language and have the same values and the same passion for getting it right for children. So I’ve been really lucky, and our organisation’s been lucky in the people that have come alongside us and support us to make sure that we get it right for children.

Colby: 23:59

And I chuckled a little bit there, because Patrick is a mutual colleague and something of a silent partner for this podcast, in that he puts me together with some of our guests, including with you, patricia. One of the things that I think is really significant about what you were saying there is that you go and you yourself go and get trained. You attend the trainings, you, and then you. You have a strong desire for those trainings that you think speak to you and how you want your organisation to operate and run and the care and service delivery you want staff to deliver to children. You have them all trained in the same models and theories theories, um, but.

Colby: 25:08

But the interesting thing is that, by the sound of it, it’s from the top to I hate saying from the top to the bottom. It sounds terrible, doesn’t it really? Everyone in the organization is gets the same training so everyone can speak the same language and, importantly from the point of view of the children and young people that you deliver a service to, notwithstanding that everyone’s got their own unique traits and characteristics, there’s a foundation of commonality across your staff group, which I think is really important and can be. It doesn’t always exist, for example, in statutory child protection organisations, where you know large organisations but where you wouldn’t. We wouldn’t commonly see everyone, all the staff group, singing from the same hymn sheet, so to speak. But I agree, I think that’s a really valuable thing. And it’s not just I think. Another previous podcast guest, simon Benjamin, who ran the Lighthouse Foundation here in Victoria and also had worked in the Mulberry Bush School in the UK, spoke really authoritatively about the importance of everyone being on the same page. Yes, yeah, so that’s great.

Mrs Sheridan: 26:48

I think you’re right, colby.

Mrs Sheridan: 26:49

I think the importance is that everyone needs to be invested in, and everyone, if you’re saying we all have a part to play they have to understand what that part is and they have to feel valued and they have to have the confidence to contribute to the care of the children.

Mrs Sheridan: 27:13

And so for me, it’s important that we do all have the same training, and I think that was my drive. When I started, I realized that I did not have all of the skills and theoretical knowledge that I needed, and so that’s why I did my master’s in education and then went on to do my master’s in forensic psychology, for two reasons One I wanted the staff to recognise that we all need to be in a learning environment and that we don’t always have the answers, but to encourage staff to believe and to convey to children that lifelong learning is something that we should all aspire to and that it’s so valuable for both the children and for staff. And so for me, I thought, by showing an example, although it was hard sometimes finding the time, but it was about setting, you know, setting the scene and having staff understand that we’re all on this journey together, journey of learning together that you started from a place of I’m not quite sure if I know what I need to know and have the skills that I need to have.

Colby: 28:37

So you started from a reflective position.

Mrs Sheridan: 28:41

Yes.

Colby: 28:45

A reflective and self-awareness, self-evaluation, self-awareness and, I would imagine, as part of life, lifelong learning. Encouraging that, embodying that in ourselves, encouraging it in others, has as part of it an ongoing reflection of what about what? What do I know and what do I need to know? Next, and I think that that’s been again another theme of this podcast and something that I’ve said previously and stand by, is that we need to think about what we’re doing. In this area of work.

Colby: 29:25

Thinking about it can be hard I had Nicola O’Sullivan on and she was talking about how the work can be so confronting, so challenging in some ways, that it can impact our capacity to think but we need to be thinking about what we’re doing. If we stop thinking about it, we become procedural, yes, and when we become procedural, we apply a one-size-fits-all, regardless of who’s in front of us. And procedural practice can be hard, can lack heart, can, in fact, be heartless practice. Yes, yeah, and I just wanted to make the point, in case people missed it, that the Moore House School is a residential school. The children I’m not sure if you have day students as well.

Mrs Sheridan: 30:22

I think you do, don’t you?

Colby: 30:23

Yes, but you also have children who live in those homes that you mentioned, with staff, and I’m imagining that there is also the word I’m looking for. It’s getting late in the day for me, so the words don’t come as easy. Here it is, I’ve got it. We’re going to cut that bit out. So I imagine that there’s alignment between home and school, there’s concordance, there’s congruence between home and school.

Mrs Sheridan: 31:01

Yes, the team in the homes do go into the school and work alongside children, and I have a psychological service team and what they do is they work both with the house, families and the teaching team and together they work out what we call a children’s plan, and so there’s the multidisciplinary focus on the needs of the children and we also ensure teachers, care staff and our psychological services team do the same training.

Mrs Sheridan: 31:50

So there’s relationships that build up through these opportunities and there is good communication between the multidisciplinary aspects of our team. And I think the biggest challenge for the teams in the houses is that you assume that there’s confidence in terms of education for care staff, but some of our care staff struggle because they themselves had difficulties when they were in school, and so what we encourage is some of our care staff, if there’s a subject that they’re not confident in, that they will get alongside a child and the two of them will do the learning together, and it’s quite refreshing when you see the adult and the child trying to learn something that the care staff member may not necessarily be confident about. It’s nice to watch that experience.

Colby: 32:53

That’s wonderful. Yeah, as you were talking about that, I could just imagine the emotional congruence between the staff member and the child. You know the emotional connection from having that shared learning experience, which is really important for our children in need. And yeah, it sounds like just a wonderful therapeutic way of delivering aligned care across both the home and the school. And I’m wondering if your psychology service provide a therapeutic service to some of the children as well.

Mrs Sheridan: 33:41

Yes, Children can have one-to-one interventions, working with things like grief and attachment, and that’s usually alongside, when it’s appropriate, alongside the key care staff member. We attach a key staff member for each young person in a therapeutic pathway and it’s interesting to see how relationships are established and how passionate the key workers can become if a meeting’s cancelled or, you know, if there’s something important for the child. It’s interesting when you watch the two disciplines working together when there’s a need for the child that the other discipline doesn’t recognise. So yes, there’s a passion on both sides. It’s lovely.

Colby: 34:46

Yeah, it’s wonderful when you were talking at the beginning about the Moore House group, I was also thinking about the allied health team that you across the three organisations.

Mrs Sheridan: 35:18

And we normally use as much as possible community-based services in terms of health, and I think that’s important for the young people when they go back into their own community, that it builds up confidence to allow them to use community services. So we don’t cover all of the requirements in terms of health and we try to use any community-based services and it’s about the dentist, the doctor, the optician trying to help children to grow in confidence to use those services as and when they go back home.

Colby: 35:55

Right, fantastic and not being contented. Contented is probably not the right word, but moving, not finding the challenges of having a residential school enough. You then set up a foster care service. You said that you did that because you believe that children shouldn’t grow up in all of their years in a. You said the word institutional or residential care environment is what I understood you to be referring to. So were there any unique challenges, I guess, or different challenges involved in setting up a foster care service?

Mrs Sheridan: 36:43

I think it’s the same challenges as you find in terms of recruiting staff challenges as you find in terms of recruiting staff and it’s about finding foster carers who are resilient and who are open to training and are able to recognise that the challenge that they face could be quite complex.

Mrs Sheridan: 37:10

And so it was about working in partnership and we encouraged our foster carers to come to any training that’s available within any of the three organisations and we trained our foster carers in the attachment model. And it’s about, for me, stickability making sure that our foster carers have access to social work. Our social work team, our social work team carries small numbers of carers so that they can be available to carers more often than probably the local authority foster carers are able to get support. So it’s about consistency and it’s about encouraging carers to understand the very challenging role that they’re taking on. So in our organisation, we have had foster carers and still have foster carers that have been with us for over 25 years, so some of them have got stickability, but I think that the landscape in terms of the needs of children haven’t changed. I think the language has changed, but I still think the needs of children and the challenge that they bring, I think is the same as when I started nearly 40 years ago.

Colby: 38:47

So yeah, I’m very proud very proud, very proud yes, indeed you should be. And and so the fossil again, we, the, the organization as it’s grown, um continues to be aligned, uh, across all its component parts, that they have a shared values, their shared values, their shared knowledge. There’s a shared language, everyone can speak to each other and um and you, you’ve, you’ve deliberately gone about choosing um interested parties to become foster carers, who themselves are also, I guess, interested in being lifelong learners and continuing to unlock their own potential. That just reminds me again of the idea that what we do with our children we need to do across the organisation. So when we highlighted before in the bio, I first mentioned that what you wanted was an organisation that saw the potential in children and supported advancing that potential or creating the right growing conditions for that potential.

Colby: 40:15

It’s important that we do that for our staff, our volunteers, our foster carers. We do that for everything, everyone, because they get to feel it’s a bit like going to training and being inspired by training. If you’re the managing director and founder, you get inspired, and everyone else, you see the value in everyone else being inspired Very much so, yeah, so having your potential acknowledged and developed feels great and flows perhaps quite naturally into supporting the potential of the children as well, so that’s a very important and key value of your organisation.

Mrs Sheridan: 41:08

Yes.

Colby: 41:09

Yeah.

Mrs Sheridan: 41:09

And I think we’ve needed to use the language like families and again, throughout the years, we know when we speak to each other, I hear staff talking about the Moore House family, which I smile at, and the other kind of way that I describe foster carers is and care staff and teachers. I talk about them being professional, and so that implies a professional responsibility and implies the standards and values that we all need to share and the importance of each person within the family, because you just can’t attach someone onto the organisation. They have to be living and feel that they’re part of this living organisation, and so they have to grow as we grow, and so I think when I started, I really it’s over time that I’ve understood the importance of language, but it’s beginning to reap rewards so many years later.Colby: 42:28

Yeah, and I love the fact that I imagine that everyone feels like they’re on the same level across the family, and I think that’s also really important. And then, as if the challenges of running a residential school and a foster care agency were not enough, you’ve established the Jane Moore Trust and taken on the role of the school for children, neurodiverse children and young people, and I guess I mean I could ask you were the challenges or what are the influences there for the service that you’re providing for that part of the organisation?

Mrs Sheridan: 43:39

I think, to be honest, it was a steep learning curve for me. I hadn’t really had a lot of experience in working with children with neurodiverse challenges. I knew that I wanted to establish the same culture, and so I think that there were elements of our culture that were easily put into place in the new school easily put into place in the new school. One of the challenges that we faced was that the previous school had to close with very short notice, and so the first real challenge was to establish relationships with families and to build their confidence, and what I found was that we were actually dealing with trauma in the families that came back to us, and so there was a lot of work there in trying to establish that we were staying and that we would be reliable, and once we got that platform established, it was slow growth. I mean, we’ve been doing this for five years, and my first important step was to get accreditation and make sure that the team had all the knowledge and expertise that these children would need us to have, and, as I say, I did not have a lot of experience. I had to pull in experts.

Mrs Sheridan: 45:27

I was very fortunate in that two of the consultants from the school that had been there prior to us opening, stayed with us and again were very passionate and appeared to recognize where our drive was coming from, and so they stood alongside us and are still standing with us.

Mrs Sheridan: 45:52

And we tried to get accreditation through the National Association for Autism, and for me that was the kind of checklist of professional growth and expertise, and when we achieved that, it was the tick box. Yes, we’re doing it the way that we should and we’re still small numbers, but our reputation has become national rather than Scottish, and so we have referrals from England and Scotland, and most of our referrals are coming from word of mouth, from local authorities that are telling other local authorities the success that we’re having with with some of their children. But it’s still a learning curve for me. There’s still something different, um, different. I think children’s needs are the same, but I do think that, yes, they’re a unique, wonderful group of different behaviours that I’ve not come across prior to opening the school, but they challenge us in a different way. But it’s refreshing.

Colby: 47:10

Perhaps they come to the school in different circumstances. You might say Very much so. And there are, yeah, and that there are. They have their differences, but there’s a lot of. There’s still children and young people with needs, and there’s a lot of similarity as well as diversity. And the thought that was going through my mind, Patricia, was those consultants that stayed on the teaching staff that you have at the school. On what basis do they also stand in the Moore House family, so to speak?

Mrs Sheridan: 47:58

The training that we do is across the three organisations, so it offers the opportunity for establishing professional and personal relationships. So that’s the foundation of the relationship. The teaching team have some elements of training that inevitably are different, but we all train in terms of understanding trauma and attachment, because for me, trauma does not necessarily come from socio-economical challenges. It comes from experiences and for these children, their trauma came from their educational establishments not recognising their needs and not meeting their needs. So there are threads that go throughout our language and our training.

Mrs Sheridan: 48:58

Our consultants meet. One of our consultants meets in terms of therapeutic supervision and support once a week supervision and support once a week and our other consultant, her specialism is education and curriculum development. So both of our consultants work alongside developing the curriculum with the team. Because unfortunately, when we opened we needed to start almost from scratch with our teaching team and again, I think that was because the teaching team that had been in the previous school. They themselves had been traumatized by their experience and I felt that it was too big a challenge to support their healing whilst addressing the needs of children. So it felt as if we were having to start again with the teaching team. But five years later we have a cohesion and a language and a feeling that we are just an extension of the original organisation, although our approach is slightly different.

Colby: 50:16

And I guess you’ve confirmed what I was suspecting to be true and certainly suspect to be well think is true from my work is that it’s not that much different whether you’re dealing with children who have a history of relational trauma and socioeconomic disadvantage and you’re of diverse children. They’re all children. They all have needs. Relationships are important to them. So the language and the understanding that exists within trauma-informed theories and attachment-based knowledge is important across diverse endeavours, including, you know, as is represented in the Moore House group.

Mrs Sheridan: 51:16

Very much so.

Colby: 51:18

I was wondering if there is anything that you have learnt along the way that you really wished you knew when you were starting any of these endeavours.

Mrs Sheridan: 51:30

Yeah, yes, I wish that I had known at the beginning that, in terms of the development of trauma, and that services and local authorities would move away from the control of children, and I think if I had known that we would, as Scottish services, that we would get to a place where we would use language like love and understanding and relationships.

Mrs Sheridan: 52:23

I think if I had known back then that we would achieve this in terms of the Scottish approach and the Scottish landscape for children, it would have been a bit of a relief and I probably would not have struggled some of the times and cried some of the times that I did in the early days. But I think that within Scotland, childcare and education has come a long way and I’m relieved to know that my approach wasn’t wrong and that, yes, and that we are now there’s more of a camaraderie now in Scotland and an understanding about the needs of children, and for me I just I just find that exciting and a bit of a relief. So, yeah, I wish I’d known back there that we were going to be where we are today.

Colby: 53:27

Yeah, I do an activity when I’m delivering training Patricia, that I adapt for different scenarios, but from a parenting point of view, it’s an activity that’s based around this story, which is that I think of parenting as a bit like being a farmer a farmer who grows crops. Yeah, so, as the parent, you turn over the soil, you make sure you’ve got your paddocks fenced. Yeah, you turn over the soil, you add in extra nutrients that the soil may require, you choose the right time of the year to sow seeds, you plant your seeds and then you wait. You wait for the weather, you wait for you know whether you might have to manage any unwanted intrusions over those fences. But the most important thing is that we do is we wait, and we’re often in the dark about whether, yeah, whether all of those things that we’ve put into the growing environment, whether they’ll bear fruit. We have to wait for our crops to grow.

Colby: 55:00

Yeah, and it sounds very much like that in terms of your journey. You had the courage of your convictions to take service provision in a different direction in Scotland, service provision in a different direction in Scotland, and it turns out that you were right. Yeah, it turns out that you grew what you were hoping to grow. Yes, yeah, my last podcast guest was Richard Rowlandson of the Mulberry Bush School in the UK and his question was what are you feeling hopeful about in the work that you do? And the reason why I’m asking you now is I think you kind of was answering that already. Yeah, a moment ago.

Mrs Sheridan: 56:00

Yes, I’m very hopeful of the way forward In Scotland. We’re talking about the promise, which is a focus nationally, and it’s about recognising the need for children’s voice in decision-making, establishing support, genuine support for families to enable them to nurture and parent their children, so that we don’t end up with the damage and trauma that our children can end up having, and just a genuine awareness and honesty in that we didn’t get it right in the past, but that the future is brighter, there is hope for children. I still think there’s work to do for supporting families. I still think our focus is on the damage rather than preventative work being done, but I am very hopeful that, certainly in Scotland, that we are recognising and understanding the children’s behaviours and what the children are communicating by their behaviours in a way that we didn’t before. It was about control, Whereas now, and even the language.

Mrs Sheridan: 57:36

Now we’re talking about love, we’re talking about relationships and we’re taking risks in becoming attached and showing children that we can love them, that we do believe in them and that we don’t need to be embarrassed about using that language which 30, 40 years ago you were shunned for using that language. So I’m really optimistic and I’m optimistic that God gives me a lot more energy and a lot more years. We have a lot more to do.

Colby: 58:12

Yeah, well, I hope we both get that as well. Yes indeed so, Patricia. I always give my podcast guests an opportunity to ask me a question without notice. We’ve been going for about an hour now. We probably could talk for many more, but we should be thinking about winding this one up, but before we do, is there a question that you would like to ask me without notice?

Mrs Sheridan: 58:43

Yes, I’ve obviously looked into education in Australia and I’m aware of your national improvement framework and I was really wondering about you in terms of do you feel Australia’s education accepts, understands and is driven to meet the needs of the more vulnerable groups of young people? Are you optimistic about the way forward?

Colby: 59:18

That’s a really good question. I could speak primarily of my own jurisdiction, where there has been significant endeavour to roll out training across the jurisdiction to all the schools and personnel within schools in trauma-informed or trauma-responsive practice and what a trauma-sensitive school environment looks like. So there’s definitely been endeavour in that space here and in my neck of the woods In terms of what I think. What I would offer differently is a way of thinking about the work with the children that is tailored to the experience of each and every individual child who has experienced significant relational or other hardship. So capacity to think about and better understand what’s going on for each of those child and how they, how they each, each one of them expresses um that in their, in their outward behavior and and other aspects of their presentation, and I guess I would also a bit similar to what we were talking about before. I think it’s really important that when we deliver training about our most disadvantaged, we also acknowledge that they’re children like all the other children in the school and all the other children in the school are children just like our children who’ve experienced a lot of hardship, people that doesn’t discriminate in terms of the benefit that can flow from the way we approach the role. All that by way of. I encourage teachers and other staff within school that I have contact with to draw on conventional approaches to caregiving and relating that are helpful to all children, including those who’ve experienced significant hardship, because when we do that, that also communicates that all of the adults have within them the capacity to make a significant positive input into the lives the emotional, the relational, the psychological lives of the children. So I’m a little bit hopeful that schools and education are more interested in being trauma sensitive and responsive and indeed trauma informed.

Colby: 1:02:46

I think the difference between being trauma sensitive and trauma responsive and trauma informed, trauma-responsive and trauma-informed so trauma-aware, trauma-sensitive, trauma-responsive and trauma-informed, trauma-informed involves relationship. That’s, I think, the difference. So individual relationships. I really want to get to know you, to get to understand you. I really want to know what needs you have that I can assist with or respond to therapeutically to, in order to ensure that you feel loved, worthy, adequate, capable. I want to ensure those things and I think that, um, um, that that would be the difference from what I, what I understand to be what, what is being rolled out and what I would roll out is that I would encourage for teachers and other educational staff to have that capacity to think about, to reflect on, to understand the needs of each individual child and to deliver ways of of of relating to them and caring for them in school that help them to feel, yeah, worthy, capable, adequate, good enough.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:04:25

Yes, I think that’s why I use the term I’m possible for staff and children. Relationships are the vehicle to all healing, in my view.

Colby: 1:04:41

That’s right.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:04:44

So easy and yet so hard. I said so easy and yet so hard.

Colby: 1:04:51

Yeah, well, yes, I think, yeah, I think. Our children. The perception of many is that our children are defensive and difficult to establish and maintain relationships with. I mean our children who have been hurt and let down, and I’ve never found that.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:05:23

Yeah.

Colby: 1:05:23

I rarely have a child with whom I can’t develop a relationship and I don’t and I do it through helping them feel like they’re a person of worth, helping them feel like that they’re good enough, that they’re capable, they’re adequate. Yeah, just as they are.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:05:44

Yeah, wonderful little beings.

Colby: 1:05:48

They are. Yeah, they keep us on our toes a little as well. They keep us on our toes a little as well. So, finally, I did flag this with my Richard Rowlandson question, but I would just wonder if you have a question that you would like me to ask.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:06:13

My next, guest on this podcast. I was looking. It’s the lighthouse, isn’t?

Colby: 1:06:20

it, it is.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:06:21

I was looking at the work that they were doing and I think for me it’s about how do they create a culture in foster carers that replicates the values of Lighthouse and maintains the values of Lighthouse.

Colby: 1:06:47

Yeah, that’s a really good question. It’s an extraordinary organisation.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:06:51

I was so impressed when I read the background. It was wonderful and I’d like to pass my compliments on to them.

Colby: 1:07:02

I’ll definitely do that. Thank you, Patricia, for what’s been, I think, a really inspirational podcast chat between us. I’ve really appreciated you making the time to appear and I wish you all the best in your ongoing endeavours. Long may they continue to happen.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:07:31

Thank you. I’ve enjoyed this morning with you and I’d just like to say thank you for the opportunity, and it’s with links with people like yourself and Patrick that keep people like myself feeling strong and carrying on the work, so thank you for that too.

Colby: 1:07:52

Lovely. Thank you, you’re welcome.

Mrs Sheridan: 1:07:55

Thank you, you’re welcome, thank you.

Learning to Live with Yourself and Others: Insights from Therapeutic Residential Care, with Richard Rollinson

Sunflowers Don’t Bloom Overnight: A Therapeutic Journey

The profound wisdom shared by Richard Rowlandson in this episode offers a transformative perspective on therapeutic residential care that resonates far beyond institutional walls. With over five decades of experience at the Mulberry Bush School in Oxfordshire, Richard’s insights illuminate the essential elements of creating healing environments for our most vulnerable children.

At the heart of therapeutic communities lies a simple yet powerful concept: belonging. As Richard eloquently explains, the word “belonging” itself combines “be” (which the Oxford English Dictionary defines as a “defective word” requiring something else to make sense) with “longing” (a yearning for something unattainable). When fused together, they create something powerful – a sense of being part of something rather than apart from it. This fundamental human need drives much of the behaviour we see in traumatised children.

One of the most striking insights Richard shares is about children’s desperate need to be held in mind. He recounts a six-year-old girl who taught him that children who don’t feel held in the adult mind will produce behaviours to be “on their mind” instead – even when those behaviours lead to negative consequences. As Richard poignantly puts it: “If I can’t be in their mind, I better be on their mind, because if I’m not either of those places, I’m out of their mind and out of my mind.” This profound understanding explains why traditional behaviour management approaches often fail with traumatised children.

The Mulberry Bush School’s approach centres on creating an environment where children can “learn to live with yourself and other people.” This seemingly simple mission statement encompasses a sophisticated therapeutic practice that acknowledges how early trauma disrupts normal development. Richard uses the beautiful metaphor of “tempo rubato” from music – time that has been stolen. These children have had their childhood time stolen from them, and therapeutic communities work to give some of that time back, allowing for healthy emotional and social development.

Perhaps most relevant for mainstream education is Richard’s emphasis on the power of the word “we.” He laments that schools have a captive audience five days a week but rarely use that potential for building genuine community. By creating spaces where students can regularly reflect together on “how are we doing?” and “what’s going on?”, schools could transform their culture from one of compliance to one of belonging. This simple shift in approach doesn’t require turning every school into a therapeutic community, but rather introducing therapeutic elements that benefit all children.

The conversation also touches on the patience required in this work. Using a horticultural metaphor, Richard warns against forcing growth, which leads to weak roots. Instead, we must create the right conditions and wait, understanding that “the long-term hurt many of these children have suffered requires some long-term work.” This perspective challenges our results-driven educational culture and reminds us that healing happens on its own timeline.

Richard’s five decades of commitment to this work stand as testament to its value. The fact that former pupils still reach out years later, sometimes saying “you’re the only ones who didn’t give up on me,” speaks volumes about the lasting impact of being truly held in mind. For anyone working with vulnerable children, Richard’s wisdom offers both practical guidance and profound inspiration for creating environments where healing and growth can naturally occur.

You can listen here:

You can watch here:

About Richard:

Richard has a long association with Residential Therapeutic Communities, having worked at the Mulberry Bush School for well over 20 years and where, from 1991 to 2001, he was its Director. He was also Director, Children and Young People, at the Peper Harow Foundation, from 2001 to 2005.

Richard qualified as a Social Worker with an MSc from Oxford University in 1983, following the then Part 1 training in Child Psychotherapy at the Tavistock Centre. In 2005 he completed the Ashridge MA and training in Organisational Consulting. He has been Chairman of the Charterhouse Group of Therapeutic Communities and for many years the Chairman of the Care Leavers’ Foundation. In 2014 he became Chair of Trustees at the Mulberry Bush School, only recently stepping down from that position, while remaining a Trustee with a special brief for the links and development of the contacts with and participation of former pupils. He has published numerous articles and continues to lecture widely across the UK and Europe.

Related Podcast Interviews:

John Whitwell

Listen here:

Watch here:

John Turberville

Listen here:

Watch here:

Transcript:

Colby: 0:01

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast.

Richard: 0:04

And one of the most powerful words I believe in therapeutic residential care is the word we we. So if we encourage the sense of belonging and it’s very strong it provides an alternative to presenting disruptive behavior. Hence we always talk about you. Come to the Mooribish school to learn to live with yourself and other people that they’ve had time stolen from them, the time to be a child, to be well-grounded and rooted, and we’re there to help give them some of that time back.

Richard: 0:48

The long-term hurt many of these children, young people, have suffered require some long-term work. I don’t feel held in the adult mind and because I can’t feel I’m in their mind, I produce behaviors continually to be on their mind, even though I know it has negative consequences. It’s better for me Because if I can’t be in their mind, I better be on their mind, because if I’m not either of those places, I’m out of their mind and out of my mind. I better be on their mind because if I’m not either of those places, I’m out of their mind and out of my mind, and we have to wait and give the child the space and the opportunity to make amends for what they do.

Colby: 1:42

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce, and joining me for this episode is a long-standing and highly respected figure in the world of therapeutic residential communities and practice in the UK and beyond. Before I introduce my guest, I’d just like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the lands. I come to this podcast from the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains and I’d like to acknowledge the continuing connection the living Kaurna people feel to land, waters, culture and community. I’d also like to pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. My guest this episode is Richard Rowlandson. Richard was, until 31 December 2019, the Director of the Planned Environment Therapy Trust and remains an independent consultant in the fields of therapeutic childcare, education and mental health across the voluntary, statutory and private sectors. Richard has a long association with residential therapeutic communities, having worked at the Mulberry Bush School for well over 20 years and where, from 1991 to 2001, he was its director. He was also director children and young people at the Pepper Harrow Foundation from 2001 to 2005. Amongst his activities in this field, richard worked for many years with the Department of Social Welfare in Portugal to support the development of specialist therapeutic residential communities across the country. He continues to work in a consultant role with several organisations in Ireland and Portugal.

Colby: 3:40

Richard qualified as a social worker with an MSc from Oxford University in 1983, following the then part one training in child psychotherapy at the Tavistock Centre In 2005, he completed the Ashridge MA and training in organisational consulting. He has been chairman of the Charterhouse Group of Therapeutic Communities and for many years, the chairman of the Care Leavers Foundation. In 2014, he became chair of trustees at the Mulberry Bush School only recently, stepping down from that position while remaining a trustee with a special brief for the links and development of the contacts with and participation of former pupils. He has published numerous articles and continues to lecture widely across the UK and Europe. Over 35 years he has undertaken numerous serious case reviews into the deaths of or serious harm sustained by children and adolescents, as well as service inquiries into organisations providing care and treatment for vulnerable populations. He was also involved in the Commission of Inquiry into Historical Child Abuse in Ireland and contributed a chapter to the final Ryan Commission report in 2009. Welcome, richard

.Richard: 5:10

Colby, thank you very much. I was just thinking I’d like to meet that guy sometime.

Colby: 5:14

It sounds quite interesting. Yes, Well, of course, our podcast guests will never know what a hash I made of some of those sentences. With the magic of recording and editing, I can make it sound perfectly seamless. And also I’ve just discovered that my editing software with AI involvement allows me to look as though my eyes are on the camera the whole way through as well. So that’s good as well. Yeah, Technology when it works it’s wonderful it is, it is. Was there anything else that you might wish to add to that bio?

Richard: 5:58

No, I think the bio is accurate and truthful is accurate and truthful. I think what it offers is a sense of structure that when going through it, living and working through it, sometimes didn’t feel that way. It sounds like everything was done and actually the experience is sometimes just getting on and getting on and other times the experience is sometimes just getting on and getting on and other times really just trying to survive and that sort of evens it out in a framework. So, while it’s true, the truth as anyone who’s involved in very close working with troubled populations and managing oneself in those can have a very different feel at times. So it is interesting to hear an introduction in that way and then have this sense of it was a very interesting journey, sometimes in the Chinese curse sense may your life be interesting look, as you were saying that I was just.

Colby: 7:04

I was also thinking to myself that about. You know, over a long career, we we becomes um immersed in what we’re doing in the here and now and we’re not necessarily uh spending a lot of time thinking about what’s gone before or what may come uh in the future. So my career hasn’t been as long as yours. I’m only in decade number four. We had a little catch up a few weeks ago before when we were talking about doing this podcast, and am I right in thinking that it’s been a 52 year long history of association with the cotswolds?

Richard: 7:49

not with the mulberry bush. Yes, I mean the cotswold, yeah, the mulberry bush. We always had good links with the cotswold community. And and of course, you’ve spoken to john whitwell already, someone who I greatly admire, and he was quite an important person to many of us in this sector.

Richard: 8:11

His capacity to contain anxiety really percolated through the community and went beyond the dispersal of Cotswolds people to other places. And of course the real link was Mrs Dr Drysdale, the founder of the Mulberry Bush was also the consultant for a number of years to Cotswold community too. So there are these links. But it’s right, yes, I arrived at the Mulberry Bush on the 8th of October 1974.

Colby: 8:50

51 years ago.

Richard: 8:51

Yeah, yeah, and I always remember that because it was a child who started that day as well.

Colby: 9:00

Yeah.

Richard: 9:00

And all these years later, we’re still in touch.

Colby: 9:03

Oh, really, that’s wow’re still in touch.

Richard: 9:08

Oh, really that’s wow yeah.

Colby: 9:08

Yeah so yes, it’s remarkable. Tell us a little bit about I mean, I’m sure many people who listen to this podcast will know something of the Mulberry Bush School because it’s had such an incredible history and long history, starting as it did by Mrs Drocker Drysdale and her husband. But perhaps if you could tell me a little bit about, or tell us a little bit about, the work at the Mulberry Bush School over these past decades that you’ve been associated with it, In many ways its emergence was out of a social and international experience of disorder and disarray and danger and risk, namely World War II.

Richard: 10:10

And at the start of World War II, very briefly, because it’s a long and interesting story Mrs Dr Drysdale, who was a housewife, opened up a nursery and playgroup for families in the locality in Oxfordshire urban centers. Because of the bombing, she found herself giving shelter to a good number of individuals and what emerged was the people who were organizing the evacuation, and Donald Winnicott was a consultant to that process, though she didn’t meet him, then consultant to that process, though she didn’t meet him. Then they discovered that Mrs D seemed to have a much greater ability to contain and maintain those children who found it impossible in many other places and had been moved on and moved on, and moved on, and even when they went home they weren’t able to remain there. The dislocation was so great and it really emerged from there. So that was during the war. But by 1948, she was left with 28 children, all of whom were not able to return home, either because there was no home to return to, or actually they just weren’t felt to be and didn’t feel to be a part of those home bases anymore, and so she found a place here in Oxfordshire where the Mulberry Bridge School is now, and so she found a place here in Oxfordshire where the Mulberry Bush School is now, and they moved sometime.

Richard: 12:25

A charity wasn’t even a charity then was from 1948. Though the story goes begins earlier than that, and the reason it’s a school is twofold, one of which is every child, wherever they are in the UK, has to be registered in a school. And so it was a school, even though it was a particular kind of school, and we’ll get to that, I’m sure. But the other thing was, instinctively and intuitively, mrs d knew that it would be of no help at all to children to become emotionally whole and wholesome, insightful, if they didn’t have the educational experiences and capacities that many of their contemporaries would have, and so she was very committed to that, but also committed to the particular nature of the school they needed. So that’s a bit of the history of how we got there.

Richard: 13:34

And right from the start, the educational experience was primarily emotionally led, with a population of children who had been so damaged by the presence of some treatments and the absence of others that they hadn’t been able to live with themselves or with other people. Hence we always talk about you. Come to the Moorooish school to learn to live with yourself and other people Living to learn learning to live. The words come easy, but it’s not glib. It’s a foundation to the reality of what children have needed and how they have to engage with themselves and being helped to do that and discover themselves as part of that process. So, as you can see, I can go on.

Colby: 14:32

Well.

Richard: 14:34

I was going to.

Colby: 14:35

I was going to look. I’m a history buff outside of psychology and I love hearing these, these stories about, and have done a little bit of reading actually about the history of the Mulberry Bush School and the work of. I’ve never heard her referred to as Mrs D before, but definitely as Mrs Docker Drysdale.

Richard: 14:58

Yes, yes.

Colby: 15:01

Rarely. I think I got corrected by referring to her as Barbara or gently corrected at one stage.

Richard: 15:08

Yes, yes, well, actually it’s interesting, cotswold, she was always Mrs Drysdale.

Colby: 15:14

Yeah.

Richard: 15:15

At the Mulberry Bush. She was Mrs D, but she was always the same person.

Colby: 15:21

Yes, yes, yeah. So you arrived in 1974, 1974, and over that time, that that span of involvement, which is, uh, 50 years, um how, how, what, how has it evolved as a school and as a mean? It’s really a therapeutic community with a worldwide reach these days.

Richard: 15:49

A colleague of mine and, frankly, one of the influences for me and on me of my work is Adrian Ward, and he was a colleague when I was teaching at university and for a brief interrenium in my time at the Mulberry Bush and we were reflecting upon what is the particular enduring nature of the Mulberry Bush and it really matched something that Mrs D and Winnicott were very keen on, this notion of always becoming. So the Mulberry Bush did not emerge you know who is it like? I’m trying to think of the God that sprang from Zeus’s brow, all fully armored and things, but it didn’t emerge fully formed, it was always becoming and it was opened to becoming and continues to this day to be open to becoming, which is not just keeping on keeping on, though that’s important it is seeing opportunities for further growth and development, not simply in service to itself, but in service to a commitment to a task to help other people who are troubled and at times troublesome, find a way through to a different way of being.

Richard: 17:23

And that’s the real continuity. And so it built up. Over times, and even during my tenure as director of the Mobley Bush, people would talk, sometimes in rather rarefied ways, ourselves included, about the therapeutic community and the therapeutic task.

Richard: 17:46

And that was important. But equally, there were times where I would acknowledge, look, if we were only to identify ourselves as a therapeutic community because things are going so well, I’d have to have a buzzer on my desk and press the buzzer sometimes to cease being that because we were in total chaos. That was part of the work. Part of the work was supporting functioning and development and managing breakdown, but in a way that made a difference, and so that’s really the task. And we would sometimes begin to go a bit off course and, in a culture and an environment where inquiry was at its heart, there was always, thankfully, someone to say hang on, I’m a bit concerned, what is it that we are doing? I’m a bit concerned, what is it that we are doing?

Richard: 18:45

And even the children sometimes would say to the grownups that’s not fair, we don’t do that. And we’d have to listen and we’d say yeah, okay, and we would think about what was going on. That was making us, you know, be a bit too controlling of things. So open communication and genuine discourse and dialogue was really, really important, and it could easily be quashed and squashed, not consciously, but with this anxious belief that everything had to be orderly. No, we don’t welcome breakdown and disorder the mulberry bush doesn’t do that even now but we accept it as part of the work that will help us regain an equilibrium where we are all together in our thinking and growing and learning, and not just the children in our thinking and growing and learning, and not just the children, I often say.

Colby: 19:50

People in my work. People talk about conflict as a bad thing and many of the children I work with they lose relationships where there’s conflict and conflict has been such a negative experience for them. But I’ve always held the view that conflict is really important, Disagreement is really important.

Richard: 20:14

And excuse me sorry. You can see I get enthusiastic. That’s all right.

Colby: 20:18

It’ll happen both ways, but how else will children learn that relationships will persist after conflict?

Richard: 20:30

Yes, exactly, and things can be mended with the commitment of all. And we’ve had a number of former pupils come back, sometimes years after, and and two themes, but really the same, one of which the communication is I don’t know how you ever put up with me. I was outrageous, I was this, that and the other. And you say well, actually you really weren’t as bad as you think you were. You gave us a run for the money. That’s fair enough, but there was always something about you that let us look after you and care for you, and you made good use of it. And the other one is and this is, you know, quite a sad observation a number come back and say I come back to you because you’re the only ones who didn’t give up on me yeah, that is a sad observation yeah yeah, it reminds me of a young person who said to me once Colby, do you know why I keep coming to see you?

Colby: 21:41

And I thought about it and I thought I said to them well, that would be because I guess you have the experience that I really understand you and I help you. Oh no, she said I keep coming to see you because you’re the only one who’s stuck around.

Richard: 22:05

Well, there is that, and really that’s such an important communication Stuck around.

Colby: 22:13

Absolutely.

Richard: 22:19

But not forcing ourselves on them, but them knowing they’re available. I still only live less than a quarter of a mile away from the Mulberry Bush, and that was my mistake.

Colby: 22:25

That was my mistake Earlier. For some reason I got Cotswolds stuck in my head instead of yeah, in Oxfordshire, there near the Mulberry Bush School. Yes, that’s what I was trying to say. You’ve been part of the community fabric as well as the community. Yeah, indeed, yes.

Richard: 22:46

Mind you, our son’s take on his childhood and youth was he was being held prisoner in a rural gulag because he was always a city boy, but actually he does. He did acknowledge that his childhood was okay. So it’s a lovely village and, if you like villages, and I grew up in new york city, so I’m quite happy having had my city time to be in a rural environment, so so how did you find yourself there, having grown up in New York City and people will notice the accent that has persisted.

Richard: 23:18

Indeed. Well, you’ll probably have to buy the first 14 volumes of my autobiography for the full story. But briefly, and this is relevant, ultimately, I spent four years in a seminary studying to be a priest. Thankfully, I was rescued by two Susans from a life of celibacy and I left the seminary and I was rather wandering while being a perpetual student. And I was rather wandering while being a perpetual student and I saw an advert for study abroad, in the UK at City University of New York.

Richard: 24:06

I thought well, long story short, suddenly, in the September 1970, I was over there in England and I liked it so much, I asked if I could stay and they said yes, there in England, and I liked it so much, I asked if I could stay and they said yes. And in fact, my girlfriend then, who’s now my wife? She had heard about the mulberry bush and in 1974, I drove her down for a visit. I was signed up as a PhD student and we visited it for a weekend and it was fascinating. It was much more interesting than social and economic history, and we both ended up staying 52 years ago 54 years ago.

Colby: 24:47

Say that again 52 or 54 years ago, 54. 52. No, it’s 74.

Richard: 24:53

Yeah, 74, yeah 74 74 sorry, yeah, yeah it was a long time this is not the maths podcast and, as they say, and the rest is history and hysteria but uh yeah, it was just so interesting and I hope this isn’t premature I always puzzled over what attracted me so much to the Mulberry School the day I walked in to it, and it is a very lively environment and it was very different from any other space I thought I’d encountered, from any other space I thought I’d encountered. Only after it’s really only been within the last 10 years, I realized what the connection was between being in a seminary and being at the Mulberry Bush, and it’s not a religious or belief-based thing, it’s the actual experience of living and working, not just in a group but as a group. That’s the link. And while the religious vocation wasn’t there, there was some kind of call.

Richard: 26:05

I felt to be a part of a culture and an environment where really living, to learn and learning to live as a group was important. And, as we know, learning can be sometimes painful, certainly for the children. But there are a number of cringe occasions in my own experience where I had to see myself as others saw me and it wasn’t quite the image I like to have of myself and I said, oh yeah, did I do that? Did I say that? Oh god, so it is really about learning and being open to it.

Colby: 26:48

Yeah, so and you you mentioned earlier when I, when I botched um the, the locations of, mentioned the cotswolds, but you did mention john whitwell as um, a colleague and and someone that you, um drew, had tremendous respect for, and and um yes drew inspiration from, and were there other along the way? You also mentioned another fellow who Adrian Ward. Adrian Ward, yeah. Have there been others as well?

Richard: 27:23

Yes, and in fact I mean the Cotswold community is quite significant and when I was still green behind the ears, or whatever the phrase is, I visited the Cotswold for the first time when Richard Balberny, its founder, was there and he was totally terrified and intimidated by the force of himself and his personality. And Mike Jenks was the deputy at the time and he took me under his wing, so to speak, on that occasion. We kept in close touch and he and several other people were quite instrumental in supporting my learning and understanding and my leadership. He was very key there. He passed away some years ago now and I was really really saddened by it because he was such a fine person. John, who had succeeded as the leader of Cotswold community, was there as well. So these were key people.

Richard: 28:29

But I was very well looked after in my early times at the Mulberry Bush by some of the staff there. John Armstrong, who was the head, was very clear you know real Scots clarity who was very honest with the children and very committed to them, and many of them still hold him in very high regard. But there was the deputy Roger and there was this occasion and I think it was about the first month that I was at the Mulberry Bush and breakfast was at 8.30, and at 8.29 and 30 seconds the group of children I was working with I think one had a sock on. The others were frankly, to use the clinical term, bare ass naked and bouncing around. And Roger came through and he said is this the way you’re treating Richard? You know he’s new. That’s no way to treat him. Come on, you guys. You know breakfast is downstairs. Now Get ready.

Richard: 29:36

I didn’t know whether to hug him or punch him in the nose for making me look bad you know, but it was those kinds of experiences of communication, naming something, and I thought I’m never going to be able to do that. How do they do that?

Colby: 29:50

And I thought I’m never going to be able to do that? How do?

Richard: 29:52

they do that. What I learned over time, thankfully, is the children need the grownups to be direct and honest with them, to name things, not blame. To name things and say this is not how we do it, and on they go. So it’s. You know, there is a period of survival, but while you’re surviving I think it’s a much more widespread experience than simply my own we’re learning to use ourselves, including those occasions where we do have to see ourselves as others see us for better or worse.

Colby: 30:29

So that’s the real culture of inquiry that is sometimes talked about yeah and in, and one of the things that I’ve been quite interested in on this podcast has been the conversations that I’ve had with leaders talking about the importance of having mentors whilst they’re leading organisations.

Richard: 30:54

And.

Colby: 30:55

I noted in there that you did mention that you had people who, even through those years that you were leading the Cotswold community, who were really important to you as mentors.

Richard: 31:11

Yes, well, I was leading the mulberry bush linked to the Cotswold community. But yes, they were there.

Colby: 31:18

Did I say the Cotswold community again you did yeah.

Richard: 31:22

But they were readily available and it felt collaborative. But there were times where I could honestly have my L plates on. You know, the learner driver, the learner leader, and it would be okay because they were recognizing that you know from their own experience the experience one goes through through. And you know, yeah, yes, I’m very grateful, which is why in more recent years, I’ve been very committed to supporting other people doing this work, you know, here in the UK, in Portugal and in Ireland, because I felt so well supported in doing the work and continuing to do the work. And you know what’s that word Bearing the unbearable, because it can be, as anyone in the work knows. It can be unbearable For us, just as for the children, the young people, the adults in any environment that seeks to be therapeutic. You don’t quash the feelings and squash them.

Colby: 32:38

You inquire, but it’s easier said than done and you need someone to hold space for you.

Richard: 32:44

Yes, yeah, hold space for you, just as as we hold space for the children well, it’s interesting you say that, because it is exactly the same thing and let’s see, I’ll use it. Kirstie, I’ll call her. If I use another name, ignore it.

Colby: 33:04

I can do some fancy editing.

Richard: 33:07

She taught me at the age of six a very important thing, which is I said to her social worker oh, I’d like to see her and speak to her to see if she wants to come to the Mulberry Bush. And the social worker was horrified why do you want to talk to her? We can’t get any sense out of her. That’s why we’re referring her to you. I said, well, okay, but the work has to start here and so I’ll do it. And she told me this very convoluted story, kirstie, and it involves snakes wrapped around ankles and things.

Richard: 33:46

But in the end, when I thought about it and reflected upon it, when I thought about it and reflected upon it, what she was saying was I don’t feel held in the adult mind and because I can’t feel I’m in their mind, I produce behaviors continually to be on their mind.

Richard: 34:13

And even though I know that has negative consequences for me, I mean I’m interpreting it. She was only six, but this was the message that she needed me to hear. Even though I know it has negative consequences, it’s better for me, because if I can’t be in their mind, I better be on their mind, because if I’m not either of those mind, I better be on their mind, because if I’m not either of those places, I’m out of their mind. And out of my mind, no mind, no minding. So it’s quite interesting that we have this role in the UK called childminders, and it’s just used as a term and it’s sometimes a very undervalued and always underpaid role. And yet childminding holding the child in mind, is the real important dimension of all the practical ways we have to go about making sure that children are well fed, well cared for, well looked after and all those things minding the child.

Colby: 35:22

Yeah.

Richard: 35:23

Yeah.

Colby: 35:24

As we were just speaking about beforehand.

Colby: 35:30

Being held in mind as a practitioner in this space is very important, and it reminds me of something a previous guest on the podcast, simon Benjamin, said.

Colby: 35:48

Now, you may or may not remember him, but Simon actually worked at the Mulberry Bush School for a period of time around 2010. And I think I might have mentioned this to you in our previous conversation, and he is an Englishman. He came and worked in Australia for a while, from memory, went back to the UK, worked at the Mulberry Bush School. While he was there, he met Adela Holmes and Susan Barton and they’re two people of high repute in the therapeutic communities sector in Victoria our adjoining state, communities sector in Victoria our adjoining state and he met them and showed them around and ultimately came back to Australia and worked for them separately, separately, at the two organisations they came from. Anyway, simon does works as an independent consultant these days, but he said something which I think um which I think captures at this little part of our conversation, and that is, he said, what we do, um for the children we need to be doing at all levels of the organization.

Richard: 37:05

Yes, Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yes, I look forward to meeting him sometime.

Colby: 37:15

You can watch his podcast at the very least.

Richard: 37:19

Yes, yes, I’m trying to think of you know, there are some. I think it was Goethe who called them eternal verities, mm-hmm Goethe who called them eternal verities. And you know, what Simon is saying is very, very true and it has been long recognized, even if not regularly or sufficiently honored. But I’m trying to think of the Latin phrase. I studied Latin for 11 years and it’s quis quis custodes custodiet, who looks after those who are looking after, and and that’s really so, you know, we’re talking about over a millennium or two millennia of human existence. It’s recognized and still sometimes ignored or honored in the breach.

Colby: 38:14

Yeah, that’s another goodness, richard, you’ll get me off on tangents as well. Another I was speaking to another person from just having conversation with him last night, from the UK, paul Van Heeswijk.

Richard: 38:31

Oh, yeah, I know Paul.

Colby: 38:33

Yeah, who also worked at the Cotswold community as a consultant after Mrs D, and yeah, anyway, I’ve lost it. It came and it went.

Richard: 38:46

Well, it was something about providing, making provision for the adults in the work in ways that supports them, so they are able to support, within that fashion, the children and young people or the prisoners in TCs, within prisons together. It is something about having the experience and the discipline. You know we’re talking about something about having the experience and the discipline. You know we’re talking about something about naming things and inquiring into them, as if this is such a wonderful thing. It’s the best thing to happen to be faced with a space inhabited by others, together with them, to look at what they’ve been doing. And you know, occasionally at the Mulberry Bush, you know, I would say to a child Do you see what you did? Did you realize that Ricky’s crying because you hit them and they give you that look, the look. What’s the look the look is? It encapsulates communication. Why are you bothering me talking about this? Yeah, I hit him. Where was anybody when I was being beaten to within an inch of my life? Where was anybody when I was being neglected? And now you’re picking me up because I smacked ricky, who probably deserved it. Forget about whether he deserved it or not. No, if we got what we deserved, god help us.

Richard: 40:34

However, you could understand these children saying it’s a completely alien culture. We’re inviting them to join because they need it, but we ain’t going to be thanked straight away. We’re certainly not going to be thanked. But we ain’t going to be thanked straight away. We’re certainly not going to be thanked. The amazing thing is how often we are 10, 15, 20, 30 years later which is good and still taken to task on occasions for things we did or didn’t do in a way. But it is that thing that we need to recognize how much we are asking while trying to give something that will be essential, and we need the space to name things, to reflect on things, and hopefully we have enough of capacity to do that.

Colby: 41:28

So I think that continuity and what you’re saying from simon is is really quite key yes and I and um, which led you into to the, the quote in uh latin, which led me to reflect upon um, uh conversation with paul van heswick, um, last night.

Colby: 41:49

But also it’s something that Patrick Tomlinson and I have talked about a number of times, which is, I guess, one of the themes that really underpins the reason for this podcast, which is the number of times, after a long career or at least you know, a longish career that we, we realize, we come to a realization that where we were, where we are now, others were at that same place at some point in time before us.

Colby: 42:28

Yeah, and so it’s. It’s kind of like the way that, uh, I put it in to words is we, we already knew that, or we always knew that. So you, yeah, and you were saying you know, back in 2000 years ago, people knew that about needing to look after those who look after, and I think, um, that that’s really part of why this podcast, you know, one of one of the main reasons for this podcast, in a way, is because I think, if we spend as I have on my first, I’m the first to put my hand up and say I’ve spent 30 years getting to this level of understanding that I am at now, yet only to find that, you know, there were a plethora of other people who reached that level of understanding before me and that’s in the end.

Richard: 43:21

It’s reassuring because one of the Mobley Bush trustees, early on when I was the director, he had been there for a while. Uh, ian blair his name was and he he gave me two phrases. One of them was people need reminding much more often than they need telling, and I I’ve never forgotten that because it’s something about recognizing that and how it opens communication If we are reminded. Let me remind you of something. I know, you know it, but let’s remember together and I think too often telling people can be experienced as telling off.

Richard: 44:17

And Mrs D was very, very keen. We never had a culture where we would impose acts of restitution on children, because she made very clear she said too often restitution imposed by adults is really retribution by adults and we have to wait and give the child the space and the opportunity to make amends for what they do. And I remember I’ll call her Lulu again if I say a different name but totally chaotic behavior, this, that and the other thing. And in the end I said okay, time to go back to the house and she said you’re not going to make me do anything.

Richard: 45:13

And I said no, no, I mean, the important thing was we interrupted what you were doing. That couldn’t happen, but you know it’s down to you to think about what you might want to do. And a couple of days later she said would anybody like a cup of tea? And you know there’s four or five people. Yeah, ok, she made a cup of tea. And you know there’s four or five people. Yeah, okay, she made this cup of tea.

Richard: 45:35

Meanwhile my heart is in my throat because she was a slight thing and she’s carrying this tray. But you know you have to tolerate anxiety and uncertainty sometimes. And she brought it out and really that was her way of making her own restitution for having undone some things. She now did something for others and you know it’s a small everyday thing but it’s hugely significant. That’s why living to learn, learning to live in and as a group, offers these opportunities through the ordinary unfolding of a day, a week, a month, australia with a profile. Their grasp of time and its passage is very often, for some time at best, tenuous, and the structure and routine of a day can be a a very, very therapeutically powerful feature that gives some sense of the structure of the day. It puts a boundary around things and defines space. It’s not a barrier, it’s a boundary that defines space. And I remember after I’d been there God, it was at least a year.

Richard: 47:11

Anthony comes up to me, one of the children. He says Richard, are you a grown-up here? I said yeah, anthony. He said oh sorry, I thought you were a student. Why are you here? Why don’t you just go get a job? I said Anthony, why should I go get a job? I mean, I’m here at the Mulberry Bush, we have great times together, playing, we have fantastic meals and everything. I’m not going to go out and get a job, I’m going to stay here with you guys. Oh, okay. So you know the nine-year-old child catching up something and said oh, that’s what we’re here for. It’s not work, mind, we are doing hard work, but uh, it’s.

Richard: 47:56

You know, it was good to know that he had this sense of people being together.

Colby: 48:00

That was a task you’ve talked about, um, so the outcomes, when I when I was going to ask you about a question about outcomes, but you’ve talked about the importance of learning to live with yourself and with others as an outcome, and do you think that that’s something that was regularly achieved?

Richard: 48:30

I think there are always differences in degree, always. And there was a very famous beer commercial years ago for Heineken, and it was Heineken reaches the parts other beers don’t reach. And I have to acknowledge, for some children they didn’t have the Mulberry Bush equivalent of the Heineken effect. I don’t think many children went away feeling entirely unhelped, but you know, quite a few children were able to do dare I borrow a phrase good enough, good enough for yeah. And it gave it gave them the capacity, two things to do more than just survive, having moved on, as I had to, eventually. But also it opened them up to an understanding that, you know, their life doesn’t have to be the reproduction of sameness. In other words, the traumatic experiences and events that they suffered in the past and that overwhelms them in the present does not necessarily have to be sorry, have to be the outcome of their future. It gives them a hopeful expectation, yeah, that things can be different and a bit better, and that they’ve had an experience of being able to use other people to assist them to learn, change and grow. So I think that’s really an important change. So, even for some of the ones that we didn’t quite do, good enough for, a number of them have been able to make future use, yes, of people and service.

Richard: 50:45

And and again it’s going back to that thing about mind. There is a healthy mind available if one can can find it, and sometimes not easy in our society. The dangerous mind of the street is much more prominent. I mean, over here in the UK. It’s hilarious. There’s regular things about, oh, these out-of-control youths and things. In the last 15 years over 80% of youth services has been closed down. I’m not making a particular political thing, it’s just the reality. It’s all closed down. And what’s available? What’s available, much more available, is the dangerous mind of the street to belong somewhere. And so those people who you know they’re not going to fall down and bow down and say, oh, richard, thank you so much for all that you did for me. I’m waiting for that to happen someday. It hasn’t yet, but there are ways of recognizing that they experienced something that gave them at least, as I said, a hopeful expectation that things for them can be different, yeah, yeah.

Colby: 52:04

So there’s a bit of belief and you do do, as I mentioned in the opening, you do do the follow-up contact you with, with former pupils and, yes, um, and you also have former pupils who initiate contact, uh, with the school and reconnection with the school.

Colby: 52:31

And one of the things I’ve noticed about my own work is that it’s not always the case that the outcomes are achieved. You know, in the time that the young people are engaged with the service, the young people are engaged with the service, but those, as you have rightly put it, it is introduced possibility to them and that can be realised years down the track. Yeah, and I think that’s. Do you think that, given that not all children who have experienced relational trauma, trauma in the home, can be in a therapeutic community like the Mulberry Bush School and are, in fact, still trying to find their way in mainstream education settings, and mainstream education settings are trying to respond to their needs as best they can, do you think that there’s anything particularly that was able to be delivered at the Mulberry Bush School that could be rolled out in mainstream education settings to support these children?

Richard: 53:44

Yes, and not only just support these children and I understand there’s a particular population but support all the children and young people in school. It is an enduring source of regret to me that schools state schools, private schools have a captive audience five days a week, for I mean, god, I don’t know how many weeks they’re in education, but you know what I mean 40 odd weeks, yeah.

Richard: 54:17

And they’ve got them there. And that potential capacity is rarely used. Too much is focused on the over concrete performance. And look, I’m a big fan of reading. I always struggled with maths but I knew it was important. My father was an accountant. I mean, he was happy with me. In a lot of ways he must have been disappointed with me about math. So all these educational dimensions we’ve already covered. We recognize them and it’s important.

Richard: 54:48

But, my gosh, surely you’ve got an environment where people can be together once or twice a day, three times a week, where you know the real focus is how are we doing, what’s going on? And one of the most powerful words I believe in therapeutic residential care is the word we, we, how are we Actually? What’s going on? We don’t usually do that. We don’t need to do that. When things are difficult we can do it a different way. That’s readily transferable to schools, not just for behavior management, but for that sense of being a part of something rather than a totally reluctant, you know, dragged in for what they have to do and create disruption there’s something about. Is this how we want to be here? It is so grossly underused in our culture of education, and I don’t mean turn every school into a therapeutic community. That would be perverse. But it is providing a space where people can be together and just think together about how we are.

Colby: 56:12

Yeah, and it’s, it’s a very powerful thing, readily transferable and it highlights the importance of the language that we use.

Richard: 56:21

Indeed yeah.

Colby: 56:23

And also to me. It sends chills down my spine when I think that often one of the more common ways of schools where I am and I’m presuminging in many jurisdictions, if not all around the world is is when children, when the school is having significant deal difficulty with managing a child, then they exclude the child from the. We yes and and, and they set them apart as a child, apart, and then, of course, if they don’t feel part of the community, then they won’t conform to the standards of the community.

Richard: 57:13

Yes, it’s this sense of belonging, yeah, belonging. And what’s the word um? Unconditional, but not necessarily uncritical. You know, we will name things, we will, you know, call some things out if we need to, but it is all in service to belonging, which is, you know, one of those interesting words of mine. My favorite book is the Oxford English Dictionary based on historical principles, and I have to have a real copy of it because it’s online now, but I have to have it. And the word be is a very interesting one. A defective word is the definition, the first definition of the word be in it, and because it needs something else, it’s incomplete. It needs something else to make sense, even to be or not to be.

Richard: 58:14

It is very explicitly present the presence of hamlet in that thing for me to be or not to be, and of course, longing, which is a yearning, usually after something or someone, that is unattainable. If not ameliorated, it will become. I’m trying to think of the right word now. I’m having a senior moment, but it makes it worse and worse till you just become depressed and disconnected. But if you put be a defective word and longing together, you create something, you forge something, and it’s about belonging, being a part of something and some others, rather than apart from. So, as we know, in atomic theory, fusion, putting things together creates a very powerful bond, and fission breaks the bond and creates terrible things. So if we encourage the sense of belonging and it’s very strong it provides an alternative to presenting disruptive behavior that reproduces the same thing. You’re out.

Richard: 59:38

Not for the first time in your life. Probably, and probably not for the first time in your life, probably and probably not for the last time. It continually happens because there’s never been enough space to hold the presence and make someone feel they belong and, as you will know from attachment and attachment disorders, it is sometimes you can get in too close as well as other times far away. So it’s about emotional and social distance regulation a good enough connection, as winnicott says look, I could speak to you for hours.

Colby: 1:00:17

We, we just had a a bit of a break at this end, uh, in transmission.

Richard: 1:00:23

Um, oh, that’s okay, um I thought you were looking at me with complete puzzlement because I was going off on one.

Colby: 1:00:32

No, um, actually the internet’s been pretty good for most of these podcasts, so, um, look, I could. So, look, I could sit here and talk to you for hours, but perhaps we don’t have hours, at least this time. There’s a couple of things that we’ve been trying with the podcast. I usually give my guests an opportunity to ask me a question without notice, and we’ve also just started to bring in the notion of the current guest asking a question of the next guest. So we’ve got three parts here We’ve got. Is there a question you’d like to ask me? I’ve got a question from my most recent past podcast guest and there’s an opportunity for you to pose a question that I can ask my next guest. And given that time might be a little bit against us now in in those, those seminal words of meatloaf, two out of three ain’t bad. I wonder if we go with two out of three of those, because I’m wondering if we just perhaps unless have you got a burning question you’d like to ask me, or shall we save that for another conversation?

Richard: 1:02:04

well, look, let’s save that for another. You know, there’s always things I can be curious about, but I think in the context I’m happy to save it. It’s not burning.

Colby: 1:02:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah the, the my most recent past podcast guest. Podcast guest was a fellow named Andrew Isaac, who I’ve known for more than a decade and he heads up BSN, social Care and the Children’s Services Development Group, and his question was is there a tipping point or is there something that you notice while working in a therapeutic school that really gives some sense of the capacity to reintegrate into a mainstream school or back into family successfully, or are they going to be um reliant on on a kind of a congregate environment for their care and schooling going forward?

Richard: 1:03:12

what kind of environment I missed congregate or a congregate or group group environment. Oh right, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, um, oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Self and engaging with them about you know, here’s the now and what about the future, and they will find ways to let us know. So it it really is. The whole of the treatment experience is geared for not just being here but actually being elsewhere. But we’re here for now and I guess, from my experience, my counsel would be let’s not be too quick to jump to a decision either way, and it’s always well.

Richard: 1:04:22

It can often be a finely balanced decision and we have to be opened to what the child or young person is telling us in words and also in the way they behave. Yeah, I’m sorry, andrew, I can’t. There’s much more we can say and I just think the lived experience and the relationship we have with the children and young people will help us support the other thing Ultimately, the mulberry bush doesn’t decide, it advises, and often the advice is heeded and acted upon. Sometimes it isn’t, and sometimes it goes quite badly wrong. Other times it seems to have gone well enough. So we have to do the best we can, or, given all that we know, think we know and hope for this person and never send somebody to something that we know is going to be a total breakdown. But you know it’s we got to let go sometimes.

Colby: 1:05:39

I’m reminded of the conversation I had with John Whitwell, and I believe he was quoting Winnicott when he was talking about Winnicott seeing children as like bulbs. Okay, you know, the growth is within them.

Colby: 1:05:57

They just need the right environment to thrive. And I think and then linking that up with what we were touching on earlier, which is sometimes, we see, let me backpedal one little bit is that I think part of being a parent, part of any caregiving endeavour, is a bit like being a a farmer who raises crops, yes and uh. So as a farmer, you prepare the growing environment, you till the soil, you, you remove the weeds, you, you then seed the field and you pray for rain and you wait. And of course, part of the growing environment is you have fences and other things, but every now and then pests get in and other adverse influences get in that we would prefer didn’t.

Colby: 1:07:05

But the main thing is that parenting is a bit like that we put in what we put in and we wait, and sometimes in an ordinary family environment, we wait nearly two decades in many respects, to see the outcome of our endeavour. So I do think in this space, of course it’s fantastic if you can see and people always want to see, they want to see progress, they want to see outcomes achieved, they want to see results. It’s fantastic if you can see progress. I want to see outcomes achieved, I want to see results. It’s fantastic if you can see them. Yes, but you have to remember that children are like bulbs.

Colby: 1:07:47

Yeah, and you know, the growth is within them, in the right environments for them. And, yeah, and the growth can happen at any time, and that’s often enough our experience, is it not? When we hear from people that we’ve worked with in the past that things have clicked at some point? And, as I was saying to you earlier, I only had a lad ring me today. I crossed his mind and he thought I must ring colby. He thought I was retired. I might have been retired already, uh, but he rang and uh, he just rang to let me know how he was going. And when I first met him I won’t, yeah, when I first met him he was in a very bad way and, yeah, his life, he’s doing very well in his life now.

Richard: 1:08:46

Oh, that’s good, that’s fantastic. And I think what you talk about you know, that kind of horticultural, if you would. To broaden the thing perspective, it’s terribly important. The long-term hurt many of these children, young people, have suffered requires some long-term work and a lot of it is not forcing growth. So my eldest granddaughter, when she was three, nana went with her and they planted some sunflower seeds and for the whole of the rest of the weekend she would go out squatting over the pot waiting for it to grow. You know, a bit like Jack and the Beanstalk and you know how to be explained to her. It takes time and it will come up and you have to nurture it in the way you were talking about Colby. But it is also true If you force growth, you know the sunflower will shoot up but it won’t have a well-grounded rooting system and it’ll be too thin because it was forced and it will fall over. It was forced and it will fall over. So we have to do just as you say and create that horticultural mind.

Richard: 1:10:10

And you know, I like music. I’m not very good at it, I’ve never played a musical instrument but I I learned a bit from others about it. And there’s this phrase tempo robo in music, in a piece, in a conductor, and they’re not there to tell the score it’s to interpret and they do it. And sometimes, if they pace things up, what a good conductor recognizes is they’ve stolen some time. A good conductor recognizes is they’ve stolen some time and the piece has to be given it back so that it is a full, complete, healthy and helpful expression of the musical score. And it’s the same with these children, young people. Yeah, they’ve had time stolen from them, the time to be a child, to be well-grounded and rooted, and we’re there to help give them some of that time back. So we’re conducting something as well and again, to be good enough.

Richard: 1:11:14

It might not be the most beautiful sunflower in the world, but it’s well-grounded and it has the potential to come out with that beautiful sunflower head, and this is what we have to wait some time for.

Colby: 1:11:30

We do yeah, yeah, we wait. But what? While we wait, we hold, we hold space for that.

Richard: 1:11:37

Yes, yeah yes, yeah, I could say more, but I absolutely we’ll have to.

Colby: 1:11:45

We’ll have to do part two and part three at some point. I I’d be very um keen to have you back for another chat if, if you feel like, feel up to doing it, I’d be up for it.

Richard: 1:11:55

Yeah, you’ve been very kind and uh, warm and you know listening to me.

Colby: 1:12:01

Well, you know what I like talking to adults, because I talk to children all day. There you go, I do talk. I talk to their carers as well. So you know, the podcast has been a fantastic experience for me too.

Richard: 1:12:21

I have a wonderful quote from Václav Havel, who who spoke about hope, and you know the challenge and the opportunity of it. And I guess I’d be curious of her, about, you know, in the current circumstances globally UK and Scotland based. Where is she feeling hopeful? Yeah, as general as that, in terms of the world of work that we’re doing and the vulnerability and the potentials for young people.

Colby: 1:12:52

I think that’s a great question, yeah, yeah, well, thank you for that, richard, and thank you, yeah, thank you again for being on the podcast and uh, you mentioned me, uh providing a relaxed space for you, and, of course, you’ve tolerated some of my a couple of my own uh gaffes, uh, along the way, and uh, I’ll do, I’ll do my best with the editing that’s fine I I felt.

Richard: 1:13:23

I felt very, very, very positive throughout.

Colby: 1:13:27

Yeah, thank you and thank you to you too, and uh, yeah, good luck to you and, and maybe we’ll yeah, it would be fantastic to speak another time.

Richard: 1:13:36

Good, and all the best to everyone. Cheers, thank you.

Breaking the Cycle: How Investing in Children’s Services Changes Lives, with Andrew Isaac

Beyond 18: What Happens When the System Stops Caring?

In a powerful conversation on the Secure Start podcast, Andrew Isaac, Chair of BSN Social Care and the Children’s Services Development Group, unpacks the challenges and opportunities within the UK’s foster care system. With decades of experience in children’s social care, Andrew provides valuable insights into how we approach caring for our most vulnerable young people.

The foster care crisis in the UK has reached alarming proportions. Since 2010, there has been a 30% increase in children entering care in England alone – from approximately 60,000 to over 80,000 children. This dramatic rise has placed immense pressure on an already strained system. As Andrew explains, this substantial increase isn’t just a number; it represents thousands of individual children requiring comprehensive support systems, qualified foster carers, and appropriate therapeutic interventions to help them transition successfully into adulthood.

One of the most compelling points Andrew raises is the critical importance of early intervention. He laments the loss of approximately 30-40% of Sure Start centres during the financial crisis, which provided crucial early support to vulnerable families. This shortsightedness has contributed to the current influx of teenagers entering the care system. The mathematics is simple but often overlooked by policymakers: investing one pound in early intervention yields multiple pounds in savings down the line. As Andrew passionately states, “I would love a politician to say if we spend this now, these are the benefits of the country over 10, 15 years.”

The statistics Andrew shares are sobering. Approximately 23% of the UK prison population has been through the care system. Young people leaving care at 18 are seven times more likely to commit suicide than their peers. According to research by the National Economic Foundation, every pound invested in a looked-after child generates a sixteen-pound return throughout their life cycle. Reducing the number of care-experienced individuals in prison alone would release nearly a billion pounds from the justice system. These figures highlight not just the human cost but the significant economic implications of inadequate care provision.

Perhaps most concerning is what Andrew describes as “the cliff edge at 18.” At this arbitrary age, young people transition overnight from having a single agency responsible for their wellbeing to navigating up to ten different agencies independently. While legislation called “Staying Put” exists to allow young people to remain with foster carers beyond 18, the financial structure makes this unviable for many foster families who depend on the income to pay their mortgages. The result is devastating – young people “sofa hopping” with nowhere permanent to live, falling out of education, and losing contact with support services entirely.

Andrew also addresses the changing landscape of foster carer recruitment. In today’s society, particularly in metropolitan areas with sky-high property values, potential foster carers must weigh financial considerations carefully. Media coverage of allegations against carers, legitimate or otherwise, further complicates recruitment efforts. Despite these challenges, Andrew emphasizes the importance of honest conversations with potential carers – addressing their concerns upfront while also highlighting the profound difference they can make in a child’s life.

Throughout the conversation, Andrew repeatedly returns to a fundamental truth: “Foster care is by far the best setting for most children that need care outside their own families.” The goal isn’t complex – as another expert referenced in the podcast states, “the great aspiration of children in care is an ordinary life.” This seemingly modest ambition represents a profound shift in how we might measure success in the care system. Rather than focusing solely on educational attainment or other measurable outcomes, perhaps the true measure is enabling these young people to lead stable, content lives and break intergenerational cycles of trauma and care.

You can listen here:

You can watch here:

About Andrew

Andrew is a highly accomplished leader within heavily regulated healthcare, children’s services and special needs education environments.

Andrew is the Chair of BSN Social care, the parent company of six of the UK’s leading foster care agencies servicing much of England and Wales.

Andrew is also the Chair of the Children’s Services Development Group (CSDG), a coalition of leading independent providers of care and specialist education services, who work closely with policymakers, regulators and local authorities to develop policy solutions that will ensure the best possible outcomes for children and young people with complex needs.

Andrew was previously the marketing and communications manager for the National Fostering Agency, which is when we first interacted with each other.

Related Podcast Interviews:

John Whitwell

Listen here:

Watch here:

Richard Cross

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Transcript:

Colby: 0:00

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast.

Andrew: 0:03

I would love a politician to say if we spend this now, these are the benefits of the country over 10, 15 years. If you reduce the number of looked after children or children who’ve been through the care system in prison, you would release almost a billion pounds worth of cost. The law at the moment in the UK at 18 is a cliff edge for young people. 18 plus are seven times more likely to commit suicide than their peers. So the balance of how you talk to foster carers or potential foster carers when they’re interested is really, really important. If I were talking to somebody that wanted to go into it, I would ask them what they were worried about first. There’s a sort of rule of thumb really. Most people react to something on the third prompt. Foster care is by far the best setting for most children that need care outside their own families. The best place for any child to survive is within mainstream education, but the mainstream education has got to have the right facilities to encourage that young person.

Colby: 1:19

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce and joining me for this episode is one of the earliest supporters of my work in the UK to make themselves known to me. Before I introduce my guests, I’d just like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land that I come to, this meeting on the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains and the continuing connection the living Kaurna people feel to land, waters, culture and community. I’d also like to pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. My guest this episode is Andrew Isaac. My guest this episode is Andrew Isaac.

Colby: 2:10

Andrew is a highly accomplished leader within heavily regulated healthcare, children’s services and special needs education environments. Andrew is the chair of BSN Social Care, the parent company of six of the UK’s leading foster care agencies serving much of England and Wales. Andrew is also the chair of the Children’s Services Development Group, a coalition of leading independent providers of care and specialist education services who work closely with policy makers, regulators and local authorities to develop policy solutions that will ensure the best possible outcomes for children and young people with complex needs. Andrew was previously the Marketing and Communications Manager for the National Fostering Agency, which is when we first interacted with each other. I was under the impression that Andrew had since retired some time ago, but, as we’ll hear, that does not appear to be the case. Welcome, Andrew.

Andrew: 3:17

Thank you, Hi Colby.

Colby: 3:19

You sent me a bio and it was quite extensive and impressive and you asked me not to include all of that in my introduction. But was there anything that I missed there or any comment you want to make about the retirement scenario?

Andrew: 3:38

Well, I never really ended up retiring, so it was more about a point of what you know and, uh, you know the experience that you’ve had and you can benefit other people, so you just keep going, which I’m sure you will do so yourself yeah, well, uh, maybe, um, who knows, maybe I’ll be.

Colby: 4:01

I’ll still be doing podcasts, um, when I, when I give up uh, consulting, I I think you podcasts when I give up consulting.

]Andrew: 4:06

I think you will when you give up being active. I think you won’t, because you’ll still be doing it. I’ll almost wager a lunch on that with you. Aye, aye.

Colby: 4:18

Well, yeah, and a lunch, as we were just talking about before we came on, a lunch over in your neck of the woods in the UK would be a very attractive proposition for me, as long as it’s not above 30 degrees, as I’m hearing that you’ve been having lately there in the UK.

Andrew: 4:38

Well, it’s probably good Australian weather actually.

Colby: 4:41

Every time I’ve been to Australia.

Andrew: 4:43

It’s been in your summertime and it’s been wonderful. I’m thinking, oh, oh, I wish we could have that weather over here and uh, and so we have. My wish has come true. Well, it’s the case. We don’t cope with it as well as you do.

Colby: 4:55

I don’t think I don’t know if you’re set up for it like we are, although you do often have double glazed windows in your houses, which we don’t, which is quite uncommon in south in australia. So heat transfer from outside to inside is a is an issue, but we do have air conditioning by and large in our houses. Um and look, I’ll correct you on one thing there is a difference between the hot weather in the uk and the hot weather here, particularly where I am, I’m in the UK, and the hot weather here, particularly where I am. I’m in the middle south part of Australia, in the driest state on the driest continent on earth. The heat is dry and whereas in your neck of the woods it’s humid, and we do have parts of Australia where the heat is humid. But I just don’t like humidity at all, having always been here and in fact funny story whenever I used to go to Ireland for work, I used to take jackets with me and never wore them.

Colby: 5:56

And uh one one day I was with my son. We were out on uh at a lighthouse on Fannad Head in uh County, donegal, so right out on the Atlantic Ocean, out in the west, and it was 10 degrees Celsius at the time and I was feeling warm in a T-shirt and a local Irish lady came up and started seemingly berating me and I couldn’t understand a word she was saying because she was berating me in irish and uh, and then, I think, when I looked perplexed enough, she corrected to um english and uh, yeah, it was just basically so. How can you possibly be standing out here in this force 10 gale in in in a t-shirt? But you know the humidity that you have there is just horrible from from my perspective, growing up in a dry environment well, I suppose, and the differences as well.

Andrew: 6:53

When you walk around here, especially springtime, the, the green color of the trees and the grass is fabulous. I’ve never I’ve traveled all over the world and I’ve never seen it recreated in in the way you get it for those few weeks in the spring, although the autumn is different, because you go to various parts of the usa and you have lovely autumn colors, but the spring green is uh, it lifts your spirits hugely yeah, so I got you on because you have had a long career in management and something of a post-career, but the career has been ongoing in social care and related sectors and I firstly just wanted to ask you, andrew, how you got into management in the social care setting.

Andrew: 7:52

Well, ironically, I used to work for Marriott International and they merged, which is a family company company, and they merged with a company called Sodexo, which is also predominantly a family company, and for some reason I ended up in the healthcare division in the UK for Sodexo, dealing with healthcare provision in the NHS hospitals, which I had no experience at all. But with sales and marketing and communications experience, you suddenly learn what you’ve got to do. So I found it interesting for a number of years. And then my old CEO moved sectors. He moved into the National Fostering Agency in the UK as a new CEO in the UK, as a new CEO, and you know, he and I got on extremely well and effectively.

Andrew: 8:55

I moved with him thinking, ah, what have I done? Well, your skills are transferable and actually it’s probably the best thing I ever did, because when you look at the difference you can make, particularly in children’s social care, it doesn’t matter whether it’s fostering or special needs education, you can use your skills to. Let’s take fostering, for example. Um, there was a very quaint view of quaint, perhaps that’s that’s a little bit unkind an old-fashioned view of foster, foster carers and how they were recruited, and you know what they did.

Andrew: 9:33

Um, and when the market in the uk was deregulated in the late 90s, there was an opportunity for independent fostering agencies to be created yeah um, and as part of that, then people had a choice as to whether they went to work for local governments to foster carer or they went to work for an independent fostering agency, and basically there’s never enough foster carers. I’ve never come across any country in the world where there’s enough foster carers that are doing it in a in a professional manner, and I think this is where we need to drive it forward even more in. Foster carers need to be regarded as being professional. Yeah, so I realized that, uh, part of my job would be how can we recruit foster carers in a more professional way? It also meant using my market marketing experience to to make sure that we we we gained the interest of people wanted to know about it, but once they wanted to know about it, making sure they were fully informed before they made their decisions and then making sure that during there’s a very lengthy assessment process in the uk probably on average takes at least six months, and that’s going through all the appropriate background tracks, blah, blah, blah but also, during that process, making sure they’re trained to deal with all sorts of things. Now, that was 20 odd years ago and it worked extremely well and we we recruited lots of foster carers, and our organization at the time became the largest provider of independent fostering services in the uk, and I thought, gosh, I need to learn more and more and more. So, part of my communication skills, I began getting involved with children’s Services Development Group as a member, and, looking at the legislation that applies to social care is outmoded and outdated because it was written for a time that doesn’t exist anymore.

Andrew: 11:40

If you look, should we say over the last say since around about 2010, there’s been a 30% increase in children in care in England and that’s a phenomenal amount. It’s gone from 60-odd thousand to 80-odd thousand. If then you might say, oh well, yeah, that’s only 30,000 children, but sit and look at what’s behind it. Look at the number of foster carers, look at the number of residential settings and then into your world, look at the number of therapies and and social care support that’s needed to ensure those children that should be at the focus of everything that everybody does that they can transit into adulthood and and develop a life for themselves. That’s pretty level-headed and straightforward. Doesn’t matter about whether they’re yeah, how, whether they go to university or not, but it’s about their life skills and all sorts of things. So you suddenly take that and you suddenly got a huge, huge range of support organizations that need to be there to help a young person on their journey through life, and when you get that in huge numbers, that then starts putting a huge amount of pressure on the infrastructure that’s actually used to support them.

Andrew: 13:07

I’ll I’ll take you back, maybe to the the financial banking crisis. At that particular point, um, lots of funds were taken out to make economies and and all sorts of things and, uh, give you, give you time on sure stocks. I know you know the early years of you. Know I’m as passionate about the early years as as as you are, in the sense that if you can intervene at an early stage with a young family, um, or a child, you can make such a difference in those early years where they don’t need support later on in life.

Andrew: 13:44

Now, probably about 30 or 40 percent of short start centers were lost during that financial period. Now everybody said, oh, that’s, that’s fine. Now, 10, 12, 14 years on, there is an influx of young middle teens people coming into the care system. Now I’m sure with your experience, you know the difference between looking after a 14, 15 year old, six foot two young man than it is a four or five year old. So that doubles the workload that you need to do to help them go through the issues that they’ve got, and often issues that they’ve developed over a long period of time. So, on top of that, you’ve increased the volume of what’s going through. But also, going back to the short start areas at the beginning, you’ve also lost the intellectual property that was around at those times. That isn’t passed down to new people that are coming into the sector. Yeah, so you do have at the moment, people entering the sector for all right reasons and great qualifications, etc.

Andrew: 14:58

What you don’t have is a huge amount of um older people work, older, more mature people that have been in sector a long time to be able to pass their knowledge on, and that’s that’s an area that um I I’m probably disappointed in life in, really, because, um I’m not a social worker and I have met social workers who’ve had who are career social workers and their understanding of how to help a child or a young person is phenomenal.

Andrew: 15:29

It’s almost um an automatic insight that they have with all the different types of uh elements that present themselves with the young person. So I suppose um rattling on a bit here, uh, as I worked through um with, with national fostering agency, I could see, along with my other senior colleagues, the more work, more work that needed to be done, um. And when I left, uh, um, nfa, or my quasi-retirement, so to speak, switching, I was fortunate enough to maintain my children’s services development group role, and, you know, as chair there an independent chair, because my company I actually work for are not members, that is, you know, a small membership organization of larger companies yes um.

Andrew: 16:30

You know, 90 percent of their um, their settings, are all rated outstanding or good. So the quality thresholds are there. But importantly, we can’t all say, because we’re we’re all outstandingly, you won’t have issues. You know, you’ve worked with children long enough to know that one issue and all sorts of things can go wrong. But they have an infrastructure set up to deal with a problem if a problem occurs at a grassroots level. Part of that also in the UK. It’s a mixed economy. Part of that also in the UK. It’s a mixed economy.

Andrew: 17:05

Overall in children’s services maybe 40, 43% of services are delivered by the independent sector and the rest by the state. But in England alone we have 150 plus local authorities with their own character, their own style, their own political backgrounds etc. So things are always done slightly differently. But legally the local authority is the corporate parent of a child in care and that counts as statutory obligations. And when you see the rises that we’ve talked about in volumes, you can actually see what the problem could be when one the legislation doesn’t change for it but sadly, when the funding doesn’t keep pace, yeah, yeah. So what worries me in today’s society is, you know, we don’t want the child to become a transaction People that are looking after and have responsibility for that child to look and say what does that child need? What does that young person need? How best can we work with them to deliver the right things they need to transition into adulthood?Colby: 18:23

And those questions, andrew, that you pose. They’re predicated on people who work in the sector having the time to stop and think about the young person and think about their needs and think about what services would be of assistance to them and what the outcomes look like. As it is, I think, in probably a great many jurisdictions around the world, including my own jurisdiction here in South Australia the exponential increase in the number of children coming into care, coupled with not enough funding to keep pace with that, has meant that the work has become more procedural and less reflective is how I put it.

Andrew: 19:12

I totally agree with you. You then look, and it doesn’t really matter which country you’re in certainly Australia or the UK most of the original legislation was created in the late 90s. Now, in the late 90s, bringing up a child was in a certain, you know, type of environment and setting. Today, the society doesn’t relate at all to what it was in the 90s. You know pressures on individual children, I mean especially with all the things they’re exposed to on social media, and you know the use of the internet and the you know lack of development of, you know, interaction with, with people. There’s 101 different things that people far more qualified than I can can recognize my, my view from, from, from trying to persuade the government to look at it. What’s appropriate to children and young people today is different to what it was 25 years ago. Yeah, you know, and you need then to reflect the type of service that you give them. If you take residential care.

Andrew: 20:26

Um, with residential, there are some children that benefit from being in residential care, whether that’s, you know, physical or mental or sensory, whatever it might be, there will be a need for residential care to be provided. Now, over the years, the uk has ended up with the majority of residential settings being provided by the independent organizations you know. Probably two-thirds of of local authorities do not either have any residential facilities or very few, and that’s just the way the the market goes. But then you have to question what type of child do we put into a residential care? What type of young person, what’s best for them? And you go back to saying what is it that young person needs? I know, and you know, that young person needs to be in a family orientated setting. Yep, foster care is by far the best setting for most children that need care outside their own families and that will provide them with a balance straightforward. So actually putting children into residential one is far more expensive, but doesn’t then bring the best out of them.

Andrew: 21:40

And then you take the next bit what other support do they need going around their foster care? What sort of trauma have they been through in their lives? Because, let’s face it, originally they’re in situations which they did not create themselves. So they they’re. Whether it’s, whether the families they’re born into, the situations they’re born into, was no original fault of their own. So therefore, once you understand that and saying right, okay, quite a lot of them could go into fostering. When they’re in fostering. Well support do we need to give the foster carers in order to deal with it? And secondly, what emotional support can they give them to get them through to their adulthood?

Andrew: 22:24

And in a lot of instances it is more than just training the foster carers. You do need external professionals to come in and help, particularly on the mental health side, in in being able to allow these young people to understand why their behavior is like it is, and then that in turn impacts on education, so they may be fall out of school. They’re excluded from school. Um, their, their, their learning becomes more inward looking and and here it just doesn’t happen. So, he’s, all right, you need some special educational needs.

Andrew: 23:02

Um, yeah, the best place for any child to to survive is within mainstream education, but the mainstream education has got to have the right facilities to encourage that young person, because they need to integrate back into the mainstream run in order to develop the social skills they need. And again, in a lot of instances mainstream school may not be the right place because there are here one-to-ones that probably need. I know schools where you have individual pupils that are probably needed. I know schools where you have individual pupils that are residential that require two or three adults 24-7. In those instances you put the price tag on that. That’s phenomenal. It might cost a lot of money, but that’s where the service is built around the child. So I’d love to go back to a situation where the social workers that are dealing with the child at the front line they’re dealing with a family where the where the child has come from, and they’re looking and say the foster care is where the child is planned to go, that they look at the matching skills behind it and they’re the ones that say this is the best setting for that child.

Andrew: 24:15

Yeah, doesn’t happen anymore. As you know, it goes up to. Well, this is, this is a transactional thing and this person x y z child x y z. You know that’s going to cost us this. That’s one of the alternatives that cost. Um, I don’t think that’s right, but I understand why we’ve got to that. But that’s looking and currently in the UK legislation is being changed phenomenally. There’s a big new bill going through Parliament currently which will bring a lot of things up to date, but that will require a lot of implementation.

Colby: 24:55

So you might have an Act of Parliament that’s passed, but then you’ve got to implement it, and that means detailed changes to regulation, to guidelines, which will take some time and look, there’s so much in that, in what you were talking about, and I think you’ve really laid it out in terms of that exponential increase in young people ending up in care in the UK over the last couple of decades.

Colby: 25:25

I want to take you back to your role in the National Fostering Agency and you talked a little bit earlier about recruitment of foster carers and I guess one of the biggest challenges has been, with that increase of young people coming into care, that there’s been a need to really step up the recruitment and you’ve been competing, I guess as well, recruitment, and you’ve been competing, I guess as well, with other independent bodies that came into the marketplace, so to speak. I’m really interested to hear about and I’m sure our listeners will be about the recruitment of foster carers, your experience as when you’re in the National Fostering Agency, what you thought helped or hindered that process of securing enough quality foster carers.

Andrew: 26:26

Yeah, I think, if you go back to the basics of foster care recruitment, it’s you need to attract the right person for the right reasons in the first instance, um, and going back a number of years, there was a situation where you could assure them well, actually, you’re not doing it all for nothing.

Andrew: 26:45

You are being given fees in which to cover your costs and and the time that you spend, because there there is a statute tax benefit statute in the UK which we managed a couple of years ago to get doubled so that they can have these fees which won’t attract income tax, and that’s part of it in today’s cost of living crisis. But going back to your original question, there’s a sort of rule of thumb. Really. Most people react to something on the third prompt. So, if you get interest from somebody who may have watched a tv program where fostering has been involved, and many of the soap operas, um, certainly in the uk, which I’m sure are broadcast in australia as well um have had storylines based around fostering now, I know that because we advised on on a number of them and you’re watching that and you think, oh, you know, you know our kids are getting older or left home empty nesters, all that sort of thing maybe we could foster.

Andrew: 27:52

And they think about it, um, and and, as they’re going through their daily life, they might see an article in a magazine, they might see something online, they might look at one of your podcasts, um, or they, they, they might see huge recordings, I mean, whatever it might be, might then be a second prompt and then probably a year or months or whatever later, they will come across a situation that they recognize on the how, the call to action, how to do it, and this could have a period of a few months, or typically that is over a year or so. Whilst people think about it, you know, and they then they’re, they’re moving from oh, it’s in there to. Well, actually, we really need to look about this now that at that point, whoever is providing the service and whomsoever they contact need to be aware of community and location. It is no good somebody in the north of england talking to somebody on the south coast telling them what it’s like on the south coast. They would need to talk to somebody in their, their vicinity, part of their community, that say in our community we have this number of children that need looking after. These are the types of children they are, and this is where you could make a good difference in that dialogue explaining the child and then understanding from the potential foster carers where they feel their skills like, bearing in mind that none of them would necessarily, apart from bringing up their own children, would would have any knowledge, and that’s when you talk to them about. Well, if you’re interested in looking after teenagers, then the type of training we give you will help you deal with situations you will come across and you know where your own, your own experience with your own teenagers is hugely helpful, but these probably are not as typical as your own kids would be. So that’s the process, then. Is is talking to them and not pressurizing and understanding what they have to go through to get it. Now, that’s part of it, and once I think, ok, I’m going to put my toes in the water and I’m going to fill in this application form, which is hugely long, can make the difference in talking to people and explaining this is hard, but the results are worth it.

Andrew: 30:41

And and going through the assessment process is challenging. Uh, it does go, you know. It does dig into your innermost thoughts, your personal life. It’s, you know. It can expose an awful lot of things. It talks to your family, all sorts of stuff. Yeah, for all the right reasons, because safeguarding is paramount for the child.

Andrew: 31:01

Um, so going back again is how do you approach people now in today’s society? Can let’s come up to date. Now you’ve got metropolitan cities? Uh, you know, you’ve know, london, manchester, birmingham, melbourne, sydney, etc. Property prices through the roof. If you’re in london and you’ve got a couple of spare rooms and you want to, should we say, increase your money into the household, you could probably rent the room out to to somebody for a lot more than you would get fostering. So therefore the property value becomes an issue.

Andrew: 31:39

You then have a lot of exposure in the media about accusations and allegations from children and young people and that people will say do I really want to go through that?

Andrew: 31:53

Yeah, because if you look through, you know, and yes, you know, these things happen and sometimes they’re they’re not good. I can mention a couple of cases in the uk where immediately, you would be fully aware of what what it was about, but there are also allegations made that aren’t uh, you know, aren’t true, and that has a huge effect on potential foster carers in the first place. Yeah, so the balance of how you talk to foster carers or potential foster carers when they’re interested is really, really important understanding, understanding their motivation. If I were talking to somebody that wanted to go into it, I would ask them what they were worried about first, what worries you about becoming a foster care? Because that way you’re bringing it to the front and not leaving it in the background somewhere, so that halfway through their assessment they’ve had enough. When they go to the more difficult training, well, you know what to do with, with restraint and all that sort of stuff um, you know they’re more equipped for that.

Andrew: 33:08

So, apart from recruitment, there’s also retention of foster carers yeah yeah, particularly those maybe had a bad experience or who haven’t been able to manage a particular placement and there’s been a placement breakdown. You then got to look at how you deal with that. Um, I’m at a couple in london and, um, they’d been long-term foster carers. They have three young people. They were full-time, they didn’t have other jobs. One young person was disabled but they went on all the relevant training to deal with his disability Great. They had a couple of other young people in one who had special educational needs and one who was a great kid with the other two. That makes sense.

Andrew: 34:03

And when one of the children moved on, they then turned to preparing babies for adoption, which the adoption process can be interminably long, even for little babies, and often they would have those babies from, you know, a couple of days old or a few weeks old, through to two or three. During that period, in order that child develops, they have to attach. So the child itself is going through the normal procedure and this couple were phenomenal at this and and the problem happens then when an adoptive parent is found and they then go through a number of months when they’re working with the adoptive family to transfer across and, you know all the usual things about the day-to-day routine, and then the day comes when the baby is handed over or the young child is handed over. They maintain contact for questions, questions, that sort of thing. And then we found the.

Andrew: 35:11

It was almost like a bereavement process for the foster carers. How then do we counsel them to? You know, they know what they’ve done is for the best interest of the young person child, but how do they deal with the emotional side of then relinquishing those two or three years and relinquishing, uh, and then the, um, the, the husband, um, he used to go for about three days into his shed for the bottom of the gut and bang nails into bits of wood and scream and yell at himself to get out that, yeah, um. So we, we developed at that point, uh, quite a lot of, uh, little bits of counseling that will wrap around them, make sure that they went through the process and realized they weren’t on their own. But that is a a difficulty within fostering. If you’re doing that, I so admire those people because you know you’re you’re an attachment specialist. I mean, I, I would struggle with that.

Colby: 36:23

I don’t know if you would uh, to perform the role Absolutely, and certainly for the children as well. I mean, children will not be unaffected by this process as well, and one of the things that you’ve talked about in terms of the recruitment of foster carers is that balance of what you say to them, how you prepare them in the early stages of them expressing their interest and then through the assessment process. And what I heard you say is that it’s important to be realistic and it’s. It’s interesting because I um, I have in in an earlier part of my career, I was involved in inter-country adoption assessments, assessing couples who wanted to adopt children, uh, from overseas, and everything was upbeat about it. You know, these were people who were going to ensure that children grew up in a family environment as opposed to an institution in a third world country, and it was also very positive.

Colby: 37:36

And then there was a movie that was made about the two lads that were adopted by a. Well, two lads were adopted by a couple in New Zealand from India. It centred around one of those particular lads and I cannot remember the name of it, but it was a very good portrayal of how complicated it is raising children who have experienced relational traumas or attachment traumas, at the least. And if a child has grown up in a family until they’re three and then they go to another family, there are consequences associated with that. And I’m well and truly on the side of being as open and transparent as we can be about both, both the the blessings and the and the curses, so to speak, because I think people need to be, they need to be prepared, and then that feeds into retention, of course, because you you don’t want people who find six months in 12 months, in two years, into providing a placement or placements that this is not what they were told it was going to be, because then you’ve got potential um harm for them, the foster, the foster parents who have to relinquish children because it is not what they were expecting.

Colby: 39:18

Usually they’ve not felt supported enough or that the decisions that are taken by the child protection authorities are run counter to what they think should happen. And in my jurisdiction, and I’m sure in plenty of others, birth family connection and birth family contact is one of those vexed issues, those vexed issues. So it’s not only is it tremendously impactful for foster carers to come to the realisation that this is not what they signed up for and that it is harming them in some way. But then those children as well, those children that have been in their home, the impact for them of a foster placement that has to come to an end. A lot of what you’re saying is really resonating with me. If you can’t tell the story, warts and all then how can people be prepared for it?

Andrew: 40:22

Yes, and I think you have to be truthful and establish what their worries are. But then you must also outline the benefits. Just to give you another example, a couple I know have three young people with them a brother and sister and now a six or seven-year-old. And the two older children were in a bit of a state when they arrived and this couple have done some amazing work with them, to the extent that um the issues with with family contacts was were dealt with. Um, and the two older children are now in a position to choose and select, and they chose no further family contact. It was their choice and they had all the right support in doing it. But the older children now, when they get to 18, want to change their name to that of their foster carers. That’s an amazingly successful placement where the two older children have been there eight, nine years now and they feel as if they’re in a fully fledged family environment. But they are also working with their foster parents on a younger child that’s come in who has been through a very traumatic time, and the youngsters are helping and I just think that’s quite wonderful.

Andrew: 41:59

So I suppose what you’ve got to, you’ve got to look at, is we often hear. Well, we regularly hear when things go wrong. What you don’t hear about is when things go right, and you know there, there are so many wonderful stories out there where things go right. Um, and it’s getting that balance. My other hobby horse is what happens at 18 um, because the law tell me what you think the law at the moment in the uk at 18 is?

Andrew: 42:26

Tell me what you think the law at the moment in the UK. 18 is a cliff edge for young people Transition into adulthood, Up to 18, there is a corporate parent structure where there are statutory obligations and they’re dealing with one agency. Day after their 18th birthday they deal with eight, nine, ten different agencies. Now you tell me what young person at 18 that’s had a pretty traumatic upbringing being stabilized by by good foster carers? How on earth are they going to cope with that? You know it’s your own children. You don’t kick out at 18. The downside is, whilst there’s a lot of rhetoric going on about it, the foster carers who make their life as foster carers, so the fees they receive per their mortgage and their bills and things like that, have no option, option at 18.

Andrew: 43:28

But if they’ve got a spare room, move on to the next young person coming in. If the older child is to say, there is a facility called staying put in the uk but the finances of that don’t work for the foster carer. So you imagine you’ve got. You know we did some uh cstg quite a lot of research a few years ago in terms of what happens to kids post 18. 23 of the uk prison population has been through the care system or contact with the care system. Yeah, there are 18 plus are seven times more likely to commit suicide than their peers.

Andrew: 44:12

We worked with a couple of homeless charities and the number of young people that were sofa hopping because they had nowhere to live. Because they had nowhere to live it. How on earth do we expect them to move into and become self-sufficient when we don’t track them through? So my advocacy at the moment is we need to do something to take on. And yes, there is statutory legislation. You get the the uh, the rhetoric back that they should do this. We look after laughed until they’re 25. Yes, the law is there that highlights that at a senior level, but where is the practical input.

Andrew: 44:56

You look at the stats and how many kids have lost contact with their original corporate parent. Therefore, we haven’t tracked where they’ve gone. And in today’s society they they fall so much easy, easily into the wrong areas. They become more statistics. There was a study done by the national economic foundation a number of years ago now probably more years than I care to remember. I think it still brings true every pound that was invested in a looked after child will have a life cycle of 16 pounds. As you go through now you hear the numbers on that. It’s huge amounts of money. If you reduce the number of looked after children or children that’ve been through the care system in prison, you release almost a billion pounds worth of cost out of the justice system.

Colby: 45:51

Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to hear it, but Graham Kerridge was a very interesting podcast guest of mine, one of the earlier podcasts. He’d worked at the beginning of his career in the Cotswold community and had thereafter gone into international health development, health management quite an illustrious career. But he got me thinking about well. He was very interested in human capital and that was what led him to get involved in social care at the beginning of his career. And when we create a better life for a young person, we’re also creating a better life for their long-term partner, their children and their grandchildren. Potentially that human capital created is intergenerational in effect, and also, as you say, the services that and this is tied up in the whole early intervention movement and the rationale behind its importance. But if we can keep our young people out of institutions like the justice institutions, there’s an untold capital almost.

Colby: 47:15

When you’re talking about well, another podcast guest of mine you’ve touched on it a couple of times, but her name is Adela Holmes. She had this. It sends a chill down your spine quote that the great aspiration of children in care, children who have grown up in care, is an ordinary life. And wouldn’t that be great if they could just have an ordinary life, have their own children successfully raise those children, have grandchildren, and the saving not just the saving but the benefit to society of that happening is You’re so right because there’s been some fiscal studies on early intervention that if you invest one pound up front you’ll double your returns very quickly.

Andrew: 48:16

Up front in the early years will just save you so much money going forward. And that’s perhaps trying to change the narrative of how chancellors of the Exchequer and treasury ministers look at spending. It’s all short-term budget now, because maybe in five years time or 10 years time they’re no longer going to be in power. They’re not worried about that. Yeah, I would love a politician to say if we spend this now, these are the benefits of the country over 10, 15 years and you drive through.

Andrew: 48:49

You talked about the human capital. Now you take that and I want an ordinary life. So my human capital is going to develop. I will get a job, I will pay my taxes, I will have a partner, I will have children. They will grow up in a more secure environment. They will grow up in a more secure environment. They will grow up normally. Of course they’re going to need health care and dental care and schooling and that sort of stuff, but hopefully then they will move into job. So you then start creating revenue for the country as well.

Andrew: 49:20

Incidentally, but the person that kicked it all off the child account wanted an ordinary life. But the person that kicked it all off the child account wanted an ordinary life gets their wish granted and they become happy, as contented as they could. But they could best they could possibly be as a human being, and it doesn’t matter if you, you know, rich as creases or as poor as a church mouse. It’s about are you content as a human being that you’ve done your very best in everything that you do? And if you could give those young people the skills to be as good as they could possibly be, then that investment early on pays huge dividends to society. Every time you open a newspaper or you look online at news, there’s some sort of disaster regarding young people or you know young families. There’s a major crisis going on and you think, if you went back, how could that have been avoided? For a kickoff not knocking the backside out of early start, you know, 15, 20 years ago. I wonder if you can come back to that yeah, yeah.

Andrew: 50:33

It is something, but I mean it is what it is and we are where we are, but now we need to make sure that the money invested is invested correctly. The best place for any child that needs non-family you know none non-birth family help is in a family environment. It’s the same the whole world over. But I think the focus on that but it’s the short term the short-termism by governments all over the world is probably a fault there.

Colby: 51:06

Yeah.

Andrew: 51:07

And the narrative, the whole narrative needs to change, but change in any first world country takes time. And it’s not, you know it’s not political gold. That’s the problem. You know, the problem is always going to be there and children’s services tend to be a Cinderella service across the world.

Colby: 51:30

What do you mean by that? Sorry?

Andrew: 51:33

What do you mean by that? A Cinderella service that it’s out of sight, out of mind? If it’s just plodding along, that’s fine. The minute it makes a headline, something done about it, yeah. But most of the time it doesn’t make the headlines, because the much more interesting things that you know that politicians say and do that people want to read about and I don’t think the societal change over the last couple of decades is is reflected in how we look after our children. These days we’re very much reliant on processes, procedures, and we’ve always done it this way. That’s right.

Colby: 52:18

Somebody needs to make a change. That’s a nice spot to pause and reflect on. I mean, we were talking about it early on and I said that whenever you’re in a or I would say that whenever your resources are stretched, you’re time poor and otherwise your resources are stretched in whatever role that you’re performing. We do have a. There seems to be a human inclination to become very procedural. This is how we’ve always done it Stop thinking, stop stopping and thinking, but just becoming very procedural and I’ve said it in a number of podcasts Our service delivery, in those circumstances where we’re not thinking about ourselves and not thinking about the person, the recipient of our services, when they’re received procedural, they can be quite heartless and that that’s, that’s not a good outcome. Andrew, thank you for agreeing to come on. I always there’s so much I could talk to you about. There was so much in there that I could follow up on, and maybe, if you came, we might set up another time down the track a little ways and explore it a little bit more.

Andrew: 53:44

I particularly would love to talk to you more about the Children’s Services development group, um, as well yeah, yeah, quietly in the background, they do a huge amount of work to try and let politicians understand what the real world of children’s services is about yeah, yeah now, andrew, yeah yeah, well, I’d love to as well.

Colby: 54:10

Now, I always always well these. I’ve started a trend of giving my my podcast guests an opportunity to ask me a question at the end of the podcast.

Andrew: 54:18

I wonder if there’s a question without notice you’d like to um launch onto me, so to speak well, I think one of one of the things that I’ve always uh you know, admired, enjoyed and agreed with is how can we teach ordinary folk, whether they be parents, foster carers or workers in our sector, how can we give them simple tools to help with making children more resilient to their circumstances? What would you say, the simple tools that foster carers, ordinary parents, can use when they’re helping children, so those children in today’s society become more resilient?

Colby: 55:10

Yeah, well, it’s a good question. I think I don’t know if I’m aligned with others or a little bit different from others, but I often think that complex problems are not easily solved with complex solutions. Yeah, and in actual fact, the solved with complex solutions? Yeah, and in actual fact, the problem with complex solutions, such that they depart from conventional caregiving, they’re hard to implement and they’re hard to sustain over time. And our children, particularly our children, who have experienced disruption, attachment disruption, loss and trauma in their life, if there’s one thing that that triggers them, that gets them going, is inconsistency.

Colby: 56:02

So the last thing you want to do, I think, is to advocate an approach to caregiving of our young people that is even difficult to implement in the first place, but certainly difficult to maintain over time, and particularly in the face of our young people. You know the ship doesn’t turn around quickly very often, and and and people can lose hope, you know, or lose faith in, in, in the worth of of strategies, and then they’ll revert back to some other previous approach. Now that’s the big problem is the reverting back. So our young people, just you know they’re left with thinking, oh, are you going to be like this or are you going to be like that? Are you going to be like that and how long is going to be like that? Are you going to be like that, and how long is that going to go on for before you end up coming back? So my view is that we need to have a look at conventional aspects of caregiving and relating that are very powerful and very important to the recovery, the reasonable recovery, that we can expect our young people to make. I say that because I think we’re all impacted by what happens during our childhood, and the best of us and everyone else as well, and so I think our children retain some enduring sensitivities, but we can put them on that path that you talk about of being resilient to challenges in life, of achieving that goal of an ordinary life where we um, where they get um, caregiving, that um is conventional, so it doesn’t stand out like a sore thumb, it’s not triggering. This is this is not what I’ve seen or experienced before necessarily um, and I say that because all kids who come into care have experienced some level of conventional care prior to removal. It’s just been inadequate, grossly inadequate often enough, but conventional approaches to caregiving and relating are still recognisable to the children. So all that by way of our children coming to care. Often enough, they’ve had a disrupted period of growth and development at the beginning of their life.

Colby: 58:40

So the things that we know that support happy, healthy babies and positive growth and development are things like a fairly consistent home environment with consistent carers, caregivers. Those caregivers are there for them, are accessible to them. They don’t spend a long time away from the infants. If they do move away, they check in on them frequently and in in doing that, the infant first learns you’re the people that look after me and later learns you’ll still be there to look after me even when I can’t see you hear, you smell, you touch, you taste you. In those circumstances they develop an appropriate understanding that that the people who look after them truly are there for them, are accessible to them.

Colby: 59:37

When their tummy is feeling uncomfortable after a feed, they get burped. When their nappy’s feeling a bit uncomfortable and wet and yucky, they get changed. When they’re needing comfort, they get held. When they’re tired, they get put to sleep. When they’re hungryucky, they get changed when they want to. When they’re needing comfort, they get held. When they’re tired, they get put to sleep. When they’re hungry, they get fed.

Colby: 59:56

So the infant’s experience is that that the people who look after them understand their experience, understand what’s going on for them, and they can trust you can trust this person because they understand me. And then they and and not only do they understand what’s going on for me, they respond to what I need, and when I’m happy, they’re happy. When I’m sad, they’re sad. When I’m screaming the house down, they’re looking like they’re about to have a meltdown, but then they get themselves under control and they come back and they calm down. And that’s so reassuring for me as a small child that I can trust this person to understand me in their thoughts, in their words, in their actions and in their expressed emotions. But they will then help me regulate back to a calm and contented place.

Colby: 1:00:50

So you did ask the question. This is a rather long answer, but what I’m really getting to is that those things that were really key during infancy and early childhood, that were often inadequate in our children in care, they’re the things that we need to enrich and put back in and make sure that our young people have a really good experience of it. It might look a bit different to how you do it with a baby, undoubtedly, unless you’ve got a baby in your care, it will look different. But what you want is a household that has some things that are consistent about it that the care that is delivered, including these other things I’m going to say, are delivered consistently. That you check in with the child or young person proactively. You just bob your head in, see how they’re going, so that they have the experience that you’re thinking of them, aware of them, and you’re there for them. That when you bob your head in, you notice what they’re doing In your words, rather than asking a question, you might say to them oh, you’re really getting into that game. I’ve seen you watching a lot of this program. You obviously love it. But they experience this as understanding them, just as the infant does when we change them when it needs changed or we feed them when they’re hungry, and that we, we anticipate some of their requests, their reasonable requests, that we would respond to and we delete. We respond to them without them having to ask their experiences. Wow, the I can trust this person. They understand my needs and respond to them without me having to push their buttons and pulling their strings.

Colby: 1:02:35

And play is every carer’s superpower. When you play, we fall into sync the adult and the child. You know we have a good time together, there’s good moments of emotional connection, and then the adult doesn’t let it go too far and they regulate back to calm and the kids come with us. They’re not, they’re not difficult. I mean a good example.

Colby: 1:03:00

Often our kids love all kids love hide and seek. But often our kids in out-of-home care really love hide and seek but they’re really bad at it because they can’t that when, when you get them to go and hide, they can’t hide without calling out I’m here, you’re getting close to the cup again, because they want to be found. That hide and seek such a great game because it it it helps children to tolerate temporary separations. But for our kids in care, it’s a great game because it helps them to experience that they will be found. So there you go.

Colby: 1:03:43

That was probably a 10-minute answer. You might have anticipated a five-minute one. But, yeah, being consistent, being consistent, accessible, responsive and emotionally connected to our kids, that’s the what I would. Um, yeah, thank you. Thank you again, andrew. Now, andrew, I’m gonna do something that, um, you’re the first person I’m going to do this, for it was a suggestion that was made by my colleague and somewhat of a silent partner for this podcast, Patrick Tomlinson. He has suggested it might be a good idea to get podcast guests to think of a question for the next guest. Now, I think that would be a little bit hard, a bit rough, unless you knew who the next guest was. So I’m going to tell you and I’m not going to tell anyone else, thank you.

From Orphanage to Therapeutic Community: Portugal’s Residential Care Revolution

Every Girl Deserves a Chance to Flourish Beyond Trauma

A remarkable journey through two centuries of child protection unfolds as Colby Pearce speaks with the core technical team from Livramento, a residential care home in Porto, Portugal with a transformative approach to supporting vulnerable girls.

From its origins protecting abandoned children during the Napoleonic invasions to its current therapeutic model, Livramento’s story challenges common perceptions about residential care. The team – Yvonne, Maria, Bruna, Carla, and Liliana – share how their graduated approach to independence creates pathways for young women to thrive despite early trauma and family breakdown.

What makes Livramento exceptional is their unwavering focus on education as the key to breaking cycles of disadvantage. Through scholarships and supportive environments, they’ve achieved a nearly perfect academic success rate, with many residents continuing to university. Their innovative pre-autonomous program within the facility followed by semi-independent living in nearby apartments provides a gentle transition to adulthood while maintaining crucial supportive relationships.

The conversation explores how Livramento transformed from a closed institution to a therapeutic community through collaborative work with consultant Patrick Tomlinson. Their approach encompasses family intervention, regular supervision for all staff, and continuous evaluation of outcomes. Most striking is how they’ve created a family-like environment where younger girls aspire to follow the path of successful older residents.

For anyone interested in child welfare, therapeutic residential care, or trauma-informed practice, this conversation offers profound insights into what’s possible when we truly commit to transforming young lives. Subscribe to the Secure Start podcast for more discussions challenging outdated narratives about residential care and showcasing innovative approaches to supporting vulnerable children.

Listen here:

Watch here:

About Livramento:

The Fundação Lar Nossa Senhora do Livramento (FLNSL) is a non-profit Private Social Solidarity Institution (IPSS) that receives female children and young people aged between 6 and 25 years old into its residential care programme.

The history of Livramento is intertwined with the history of the city of Porto, dating back to the Napoleonic invasions. At that time, a group of citizens organised themselves to protect children and their mothers from abandonment and mistreatment, creating the first shelter in 1810.

Livramento accommodates female children and young people aged 6 and over who are in a situation of danger or neglect, and whose reception is requested by the competent entities – Family and Juvenile Court or Commission for the Protection of Children and Young People at Risk. The objective of this social response is the protection and rehabilitation of children and young people, aiming at the following possible life projects: family reunification, foster care, adoption or autonomy.

Livramento operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, ensuring accommodation, food and personal care as well as monitoring and promoting their integral development.

In recent years, the residential shelter has undergone a very significant transformation process, which I am hoping to discuss further in this episode of the podcast.

My Guests are Ivone (Psychologist), Maria (Social Worker), Carla (Psychologist), Liliana (Special Education Technician), and Bruna (Psychology Intern).

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Transcript:

Colby: 0:00

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast.

Maria: 0:04

In this way, I think we are not giving all the answers. We are just giving a way of thinking about the work and a way of reflecting about the work and the needs of the girls.

Liliana: 0:14

In all the different projects or perspectives that we have here working in our that we are more responsible for the project, but we are very connected and of course we have to be that way.

Ivone: 0:29

Most of the times in other organizations. There are the apartments, autonomous apartments. Then we have here a level in the middle that is the pre-autonomous and what we evaluate. This is a good practice because it is an autonomy, but inside the house.

Bruna: 0:46

When we started working with the families, we changed a little bit and we would like to promote health relationships with them.

Carla: 1:00

I really do believe that residential care homes may be the best them. I really do believe that residential care homes may be the best opportunity to life change of some girls in some situations.

Colby: 1:11

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce and this episode will be a little different. Joining me will be the core technical team of a residential child care home in Portugal, which has provided a home and support for girls and young women for more than wait for it 200 years. Before I introduce my guests, I’d just like to begin by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the land. I’m coming to you from the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains and I’d like to acknowledge the continuing connection that the living Kaurna people, as with all Aboriginal people, feel to land, waters, culture and community. I’d also like to pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging my guests for this episode and you heard it right, I say guests because there are five of them. They are Yvonne, maria, bruna, carla and Liliana from La Nossa Senhora do Livramento, and I hope I pronounced that correctly. La Nossa Senhora do Livramento is a non-profit, private social solidarity institution that receives female children and young people aged between 6 and 25 years into its residential care program.

Colby: 2:50

The history of Liverminto is intertwined with the history of the city of Porto, dating back to the Napoleonic invasions. At that time, a group of citizens organised themselves to protect children and their mothers from abandonment and mistreatment, creating the first shelter in 1810. Livermento accommodates female children and young people aged six and over who are in a situation of danger or neglect and whose reception is requested by the competent entities, family and Juvenile Court or the Commission for the Protection of Children and Young People at Risk. The objective of this social response is the protection and rehabilitation of children and young people, aiming at the following possible life projects Family reunification, foster care, adoption or autonomy.

Colby: 3:52

Live Remento operates 24 hours a day, seven days a week, ensuring accommodation, food and personal care, as well as monitoring and promoting the integral development of its service recipients. In recent years, the residential shelter has undergone a very significant transformation process, which I’m hoping to discuss further in this episode of the podcast. Welcome Yvonne, maria, carla, liliana and Bruna. So I think we’ll get started. I wonder if, just to begin with, if you might introduce yourselves to me and to our listeners to me and to our listeners and what I guess, what your role is at Livramento and also how you came to this role.

Carla: 4:57

Who’d like to start, yvonne?

Ivone: 4:59

Yvonne.

Carla: 4:59

Yes, yes. So hi, I’m Yvonne. I’m here about 20 years. This year is about 20 years. I’m a psychologist and I was invited to substitute a colleague a psychologist the first one in Livramento because she was pregnant. So that was the starting point of our team. From then it became to grow. Three years later I was invited to become director, replacing the main director. That was a nun, and that’s so. We later, some sometime later later, Maria came. So I started in 2005, no, 2005, working here, and now I work as a director.

Colby: 5:52

Hi, well, and thank you and welcome to this podcast and, yeah, I’m really glad that you’ve continued to communicate with me through some difficulties with my email, it seems, and we’re all here now, yeah, so who would?

Maria: 6:08

like to go next well, I can go next. My name is maria. I am a social worker. I have been working in livermento for a bit also, like yvonneonne, my role first of all. Thank you very much, colby.

Maria: 6:27

I’m sorry because, I think I’m a very eager consumer of podcasts, and when I heard that your podcast existed, it was very exciting to me to understand that someone was giving voice to such a specific area and field of work. At least, I don’t know a lot of podcasts like this one, and to be invited to participate seemed to us all like a really big issue. So thank you very much for giving us this opportunity too. Giving us this opportunity too. That being said so I have been working in Livramento for more or less the same time, yvonne.

Maria: 7:13

I entered a few years later and my role is, as I said, quite I’m a social worker, but I am what we call a reference technician, so technical director and technical references, as we are like a multidisciplinary team. And, yes, so we have this role of managing several issues that regard the safety, promoting the rights of children and young people in Porto, which is the second city of Portugal and very glad to be here. We’ll have the opportunity to talk a lot about this, so thanks, Thank you and I’m glad to have you all.

Colby: 8:02

And yes, the podcast is very much well at least quite a significant part of it is going to be dedicated, and has been dedicated, to looking at changing narratives that exist about residential care that are less positive than many instances would show it can be.

Maria: 8:35

Yeah, great.

Ivone: 8:37

I’m Carla Carla and I have the same functions as Maria João. It’s more easy for me my presentation because I will make Maria João words mine. And I’m a psychologist and I am in the technical team Since Liliana, 15 years, 16 years more or less.

Liliana: 9:00

I think you are since 2010,. I think I think you are since 2010,.

Carla: 9:07

I think Since 2011.

Colby: 9:11

Welcome, carla. You might as well go next, then, liliana.

Liliana: 9:17

Yes, we are introducing ourselves by the time that we are here in Liberamento. So I’m Liliana, I’m really glad to be here with you, so I’m really thankful, as Maria said, and I’m a reference technician. Also, I’m a social educator. I’ve been working. I was thinking, listening to Yvonne, I’m in Liberamento about 12 years now, I think, and more or less in the child protection, more like 15 or 16 years old, more or less like this. And our role in Liberamento is similar between the three of us, the four of us me, maria, carla and Bruna and the difference is I’m more related to the old, young people that we have here. The are related to the promote the skills of autonomy, but we have the opportunity to explain that in more detail.

Bruna: 10:26

so I’m Bruna and new head of the team. I’ve started here on doing an internship three years ago and last year I was integrated the technical team and I have the same roles as Maria Carla and Liliana.

Colby: 10:50

Welcome to you too, bruna. Now, I nearly forgot to say it, but it’s just popped into my head that I wanted to confess that I visit your country weekly. Through the wonders of modern technology, that is. So. Not only do I produce videos and post them on YouTube, I spend a bit of time on YouTube as well, so I tend to watch a lot of YouTube channels of people from other parts of Europe and the UK who come to live in Portugal, both in northern and central, and set up an off-grid homesteading lifestyle, which is what I do here in Australia. When I’m not working, I spend my weekends at my own off-grid homestead as well, so, yeah, so a number of the channels that I watch on YouTube are people who are in Portugal. Mainly, is it Casabranco? Yeah, casabranco around that central Portugal? Have I pronounced it poorly?

Ivone: 12:04

Castelo Branco. Yeah, castelo Branco, castelo.

Liliana: 12:05

Branco, castelo Branco, castelo Branco.

Colby: 12:10

I just abbreviated it a little bit.

Bruna: 12:12

It’s.

Ivone: 12:12

Castle, Like Castle. It’s Like Castle.

Colby: 12:16

Yes, yes, sorry, okay, so I think look the obvious first question is if you can tell one or more of you can tell me and our listeners about Livermento and the services that the. Well, a little bit about the history of Livermento and the services that it provides today, because it is a very interesting history.

Carla: 12:44

Yes, yes, it is yes yes, so maybe I can start and I think, if you can complete what I’m going to say. So our story starts with Napoleonic invasions and the girls who were born from soldiers’ relationship with girls were put out of their homes because of that type of relations, and that means some good people from Porto City decided to protect those child and ladies. So we are talking about more than 200 years back and since then Livramento take care of young girls, protecting them from the risk situations, different kind of risk situations. So some years later, in the 70s, men start to work in Livramento, like Almeida y Sousa, and we can say that in that period of time started a big change in our history because the house became open to outsiders. It was not so closed like before the orphanage Orphanage, I think so, and he had this vision already about education and about the graduation of children and so on, and he invited a group of nuns, also with a strong charisma of education, to run the house for 40 years, during 40 years. So, and in that period of time you can say the pillars of what Livramento is today were started, the foundations of Livramento concerning the focus on education, the focus on knowing the world, the focus on having good results for the girls and so on. So this is till the dance.

Carla: 14:55

What happened? They already divided the house in small units in order not to have a huge group of roles to manage. Each of them was responsible for a small unit, just the same way, we have technicians and reference educators to run. So the NNNs stopped their work in 2014 because of the age, because of the challenge of the girls that we were accepting at home, so it was a very challenging management for them. And then it’s the first time since 2014 that the house became to be managed and run for someone who is not nun, not religious, but with the worry of having some scientific evidence to having another kind of knowledge. And that was the starting point for our qualification.

Carla: 16:14

And we can say that some years later, 2016, and now I give the word to Maria, because we always as a team, is a characteristic of this team we wanted to challenge us, to do it more and better, to get better results concerning mental health, concerning education, concerning and so on, and we were not satisfied with what was happening. We wanted more with what was happening. We wanted more, and it happens in this Concerning, this idea of knowing more and knowing better. Maria met Patrick, and now I give the word to Maria.

Maria: 17:05

So from then she can give us a little bit of Liberamento’s story. I’m just going to add on to your sharing, yvonne, two details that I think are very relevant in the storytelling of Liberamento, one of them being that when I when I don’t know if this happened to all of us, but when I was going for my interview, for my job interview in Liberamento and I was younger, I went to the interview and Ingeniero Almeida de Souza, who was the president Yvonne was referencing he did the interview and when we, when he was talking with me and he was a historian lover and a very enthusiastic person about life in general he put in my lap a book full of signatures of relevant people that had visited throughout 200 years of time, and the first page was signed by the last king of Portugal, dom Manuel II, and I was. I was even like trying to clean my hands in my hand, like I really have a relic in my hand, and I realized that the signature of the last king of Portugal was done in a day where Livramento existed for already a hundred years. So imagine that when the last King of Portugal was in our organization, the organization was already 200 years old, 100 years old, and another relevant detail I think about our history is that when this man, who was very transformative, as Yvon was saying, entered the Livramento and got this mission, portugal was living a dictatorship that only failed in 1974.

Maria: 19:04

And so it’s interesting that this visionary man who had traveled the world, who had like two courses university studies, with a strong vision about the protectiveness of education, opened up an organization who was very closed, also in a very closed environment, societal environment, and in that context that was also very innovative.

Maria: 19:36

And then he grabbed the most avant-garde religion or congregation that he found, a group of nuns that were spread throughout the world and whose main vocation was also education, and they didn’t even ever work in an organization like ours. They worked majorly in schools. And so I think this set the ground for a kind of culture that still remains, which is a culture of seeking transformation instead of preventing that transformation to happen. And so he, as Yvonne said, put girls studying outside instead of inside. He incentivized girls to go to superior studies, breaking through family cycles of low investment in education. Of those first girls that went to the university still today are very moving because he was really operating also in a ground of a strong attachment and and relationship that was built with these girls, with the staff that he brought and with himself. He even traveled to the islands of portugal to visit one of the girls that was on her first job back then.

Carla: 21:09

That goes now with grandma. Yeah.

Maria: 21:12

And so, yeah, so the nuns were innovative. Then we got in Livramento, we realized a lot of good practice was being held, although not very clear the therapeutic intention behind it. So we maintained a lot of good practice that was happening there, and then the residential care setting in Portugal started to change as it changed everywhere in the world. So the challenges got bigger. The nuns were getting older also, and that’s just the reality of it, and so we were also concerned of how this transformational process was going to happen, were also concerned of how this transformational process was going to happen and public policies were also being set. You know, like, in general as I believe it must have happened in every country, there were a lot of residential care units there still are in Portugal and so there was a need to transform these organizations, because the consciousness of working with children and young people in Portugal was also very, it was also transforming very much, and so. But we also realized that in the general picture, organizations were struggling to implement these policies because they came with good practices, but they also came with structural changes that were kind of imposed, created impacts that some organization didn’t anticipate and some organizations I’m not telling that this was all negative and not all of our organizations closed, but we observed that some organizations disintegrated and children had to be distributed by other organizations, et cetera, and so we were very interested about these good practices and good policies, but a bit apprehensive on what impacts they could generate. So I think this was the first step of absorbing processes that were being set publicly to the organizations organizations and after this, we started implementing these policies without embracing, like formally this, public policies.

Maria: 23:53

And then afterward we did, but we were already prepared. We set the grounds for it to be implemented in a protective way, and then in 2014, this training that was happening in Alentejo happened, and Patrick Tomlinson was the lead person that was invited to to train the people that were, and so I went there. I was the only person from the north mainly there were people from Alentejo and I think this was a very important few days because I understood that people were building models and people were building therapeutic models, and what I found most exciting was that Patrick was building models grounded in the culture and the context of the organizations, and I was thrilled. I talked to my colleagues. I said we have to work, or try to work, with this person.

Maria: 25:07

I was in contact with Patrick. He still has that group in LinkedIn, which is an interesting place to share thoughts and relevant information. And then, a few years later like to 2019, we had the opportunity to make to cap funds to work with Patrick, and this was European funding with a specific purpose of enhancing the quality of organizations through consulting and mentoring of professionals. And so we applied for that funding and we started to work with Patrick, developing our model firstly, then implementing our model afterwards, and we kept managing to still work with patrick and he still is our main supervisor and consultant in the liverment and I think that was really profoundly changing for the organization and life changingchanging for me specifically personally.

Carla: 26:25

Thank you and, if I, may say just something and I will ask my other colleagues to help me. Some years back we spoke about the focus on education and mental health of the girls. So some years back we also made one application with the focus on education in order to support children to have scholarships and to become differentiated on their on their academic projects, academic way. So and we made that application and we still today benefit of scholarship till the regular, how you say, Maria, the 12 years of school.

Carla: 27:21

Yes, what is obliged. So, and that is a strong basis for their resilience and as a protective factor, because they can skill themselves, they can start to have another view of the future. Something else concerning emotions and these needs to respond to the specific needs of these children with very adverse experiences in all ways. So then became this application. Maria spoke and we still today are working on that, and we still today are working on that. Each of us have the responsibility of lead different areas. Like Liliana said, she’s with the eldest girls of the house, working on autonomous skills and promoting autonomy of the girls, and she has. I’ll invite you, maybe, so you better explain, because we are divided in different projects. We run different projects concerning the model and, after building the model, we work on instruments, on the work, on a methodology. Inside we reorganized ourselves. We review policies as well.

Ivone: 28:53

So, and maybe I let you, marie and Carla and Bruno, also speak a little bit about these different projects you lead Well, I will add something that that is not so much the history of Livramento, it’s more about sorry, it’s more about what we are doing now but just had an appointment, because what you share about the scholarship is a big part of our history and is very important. A little appointment is that our house is implemented in society, in the community, is a community with very risk factors, so the public school has very high risk factors. That was what invited us and moved us to search for other answers, other schools, and these are private schools. So our girls, most of our girls, and if it makes sense for them, for our necessities, they are in private schools because of that scholarship that is financed by a Spanish organization.

Liliana: 30:04

Spanish organization.

Maria: 30:06

It’s sponsored by Naturgi, which is an energy company a Spanish energy company.

Ivone: 30:23

Well, our history is made about many applications trying to have funds to promote to achieve our goals and our vision that we want to yes, that’s because the vision to become innovative, to never stop, always unsatisfied.

Carla: 30:39

So this is our charisma.

Maria: 30:41

Let’s say so since the beginning so of I was going to help explain what you just asked, yvonne. So we, for a whole year, the team worked together with Patrick on building the model, designing it and writing it down, and that was a very strong reflective process. We had meetings every week, we had material to read, we would write a section of the model regarding a certain issue. We would discuss it together, we would rearrange it and make changes, changes so we would get to a consensus within the team and that section will be closed and it would be also translated to English, obviously. So Patrick would also contribute, and so we did this process throughout the year and we ended up with in, by the end of the year, a document of 200 more or less pages, written in Portuguese and English.

Maria: 31:58

And that was what we designed. That’s what Livramento does, how it does it, for whom it works, and things to implement, things to change, things to work on in the future. And then came the implementation part. So in this implementation part, who, which was like two years, three years more during the implementation we divided ourselves in four different fronts and each of us would lead one of these projects. Bruna was not in the team yet, but now she also leads one branch of the implementation.

Maria: 32:52

And so the four branches were Sorry. She’s recovering the implementation, and so the four branches were Sorry.

Carla: 32:56

She’s recovering the time. You just can go a little bit back, maria, and speak about the participation process of children and staff, on the diagnosis phase of the model and on the construction of the model.

Maria: 33:12

Mm-hmm. So this process was also a result of an application that the, and the purpose of this application was not only to design the model although this was the main reason why we applied and we also designed a system of an evaluation impact system. We also designed a value model, a growth and development program for Livramento and a marketing and communication program. So it was a quite overwhelming year. But, that being said, we had different consultants concerning different areas of the whole application and this also has a stream of meetings and checkpoints what is being done. And those meetings and checkpoints also had the representation of different layers of the organization. You know, the children were there, educators were there, the board was there and this was very relevant because, um, it gave a sense of commitment of every, everyone, uh with uh, of everyone within the project, and all the consultants of this application were present, and that’s the stakeholders that Yvonne is referring. So it was a participated process and children participated also in important and relevant parts of building the model and they would have the opportunity to interact. Patrick would visit Livramento, I think, four or five times that year. He would participate in processes of the house, he would have contact with the children. So I think a lot of things were very positive during that process. Then COVID happens.

Maria: 35:18

We were in the first year of implementing the model and so it was a bit impacted, as you imagine, and so, but we didn’t stop the process of implementing it, of implementing it.

Maria: 35:33

So I was leading the building, designing and implementing the training program.

Maria: 35:40

My colleague Carla is, I was and I am leading because it didn’t end, and Carla is leading the process of the policies and procedures, revision and adaptation, so everything is coherent and congruent with the model.

Maria: 36:01

It’s a huge project with a lot of hard work that has been done. Liliana was responsible for developing the assessments for the children and young people, and this is an assessment that ends up in an intervention plan, individual and family plan. And from the training and the intention of supporting the development of all professionals in all layers of the organization, we felt in the end of three years of supporting people, that we might benefit on developing a specific instrument and process to support specific needs throughout. Also an assessment of professionals, because the training is a more collective approach and we felt that, as, as we do with the girls, we might support the development of adults in a similar language, and this process was started by me because I was responsible by the training, but now Bruna has been leading that process also and adapting instruments, and we are still testing out how this is helpful to us and to all the team.

Carla: 37:33

And we keep the same methodology of the beginning of building the model, Like they are responsible for a project, but then the project comes to the team. The team discussed, proposed some corrections and then come again till we have a consensus. But something it was also very interesting we work on it was the impact evaluation, and that is done over the years. So that is also something innovative in organizations social organizations to evaluate the impact of our intervention, and we do it with different targets Children, staff, professionals, families is a higher challenge to get information from families and with stakeholders also. So every year since 2020, we do it. So every year since 2020, we do it.

Carla: 38:38

And now we are just reviewing our theory of change because we understand lots of things changed in the last five years the rules, the laws, the profile of the girls.

Carla: 38:51

I don’t know if profile is the right word, but the characteristics of the young girls come into organizations is different comparing with 10 years back or with five years back, because they are more disruptive, they have more severe mental health problems and that means that challenge organizations and the way we are going to work. So something funny when Maria said we still are in the process, it means this is a never-ending process and this is a challenge. This is good but is also a struggle point somehow, because we never hand and we do it on our daily routine of work. So so, just coming to some challenges, the other one is the human resources to have someone with the entire time dedicated to this process of creation. But maybe Liliane could explain the process with the autonomous group, because it’s something very different and we have these apartments and so on, and you could explain a little bit better. You are the best one to explain it.

Liliana: 40:11

I was thinking about what you are saying, ivanonne, right now and I think it is exactly as you said. It’s like a ongoing process, as patrick said, that a lot of time. It is really a ongoing process and I think we all feel that in all the different projects or perspectives that we have here, working in our more, that we are more responsible for the project, but we are very connected and of course, we have to be that way and um about exactly my, my, the old girls, the older girls. So the difference between my groups are related to the groups of Carla, maria and Bruna is that I have girls from 16 years old to up and then they transition. They are in their groups. When they are admitted in our house they go for the Maria or Carla or Bruna groups and then they are evaluated, their life projects are being analyzed and worked out related to them and their families and the girls, and it is a process and, of course, in the basis we have this tool that we use, the basis we have is this tool that we use, for instance, the assessment, the development assessment, that it is a really help for us to be more connected to the needs of that girl, the needs and for her development and sometimes it makes sense for this specific girl in a period of the year to transition, to have this transition.

Liliana: 42:03

For my group, the pre-autonomous group, is a little different because it is more intentionally directed for their working, for their training, their skills on daily routines by themselves. They have all of us groups have a technician reference, that is, me or Maria, carla or Bruna, and a reference educator and a support educator. It is like a micro team concerning to each group, and the pre-autonomous is not an exception on that. So I have my reference educator, my support educator that are there present for the girls to work out with the girls of what they need in a daily basis, but not on a daily basis also of what they need in a daily basis, but not on a daily basis also. And then it is like if you work like a small house in a big house the government is really, really big and and it is like a small house they have.

Liliana: 43:08

They do their, their, their meals every day. They have like a leader, monthly leader, young girl Manager, manager, leader yes, that is responsible for everything that happens on that group, not only related to the. They go on supermarket, they do the menu, they do the supermarket list, they go the supermarket list, they go there by by autonomous, they go on group, they discuss on assemblies that they have weekly um the problems of the group. Of course, educator is always there to mediate something. Sometimes I’m there also and but it is more a training, more intentionally for their social skills. I can say that like soft skills and social skills to um to help them to be more, to facilitate their integration or adaptation in society.

Liliana: 44:08

So they have different roles there that sometimes they are not very they they are very oh this is so responsibility, a lot of things to do, we have to think in so many things and of course this is a ongoing exercise for their lives and it’s very, it’s very important and they know that.

Liliana: 44:29

They feel that of course it’s more demanding. But their age are different also, they are in a different phase of their life. They are in secondary, like high school, or in the university also, and so and after that, after a period of time there in Pre-Autonomous, we are ongoing process on evaluation, on participation of the girl in meetings to see if their needs on priority areas are more answerless and the needs are different. And then, if we are in a good planning system and achieved some aims that we feel the needs that that young girl should aim for their life. They transition for the, the apartment, and now we have two apartments, uh, really close to livermento, like not in a mile, I think, it’s not even a mile, it’s really close, uh, but it’s outside and the, the opportunity of that being outside, is very, very important for them, very important. Of course I’m I, me and my reference educator and my support educator are still like on behind and always present but not in presence. I don’t know if I was clear enough we are not in presence every day in.

Liliana: 45:55

Exactly, yeah, we are still working with them.

Liliana: 45:59

Um, we have, of course, we have related to the policies and the procedure that carla is responsible for.

Liliana: 46:06

We have we created a lot of a lot, some news procedures that will fill the needs that are important and one example of that is like the transition plan system for autonomy.

Liliana: 46:21

We feel the needs of have documents that have this agree, like agree between the criteria or the conditions to the young girl B on the pre-autonomous group or to the young girl B on the apartments, and which are the functional areas that we feel that are really important, that we understand and conclude that are really important for them to develop.

Liliana: 46:50

And some of these functional areas, it is possible and understanding to work it out with the girls individually and some of them are working out on group assemblies and so on, and some of that also functional areas like in alarm, red lights are really important to work it out on workshops and there are themes like our transversal for each one of them and it’s some some of that opportunities. Other girls from other groups that are like 15, 16 in the we all talk and discuss related to that and we feel the need for them also to be and integrate on these workshops, like in a prepare, a preparation of transition, also for the pre-autonomous group. Like two weeks ago we have like um two or three, so in the last month we’ll work it out like two workshops related to the politicians literacy, because we have elections really like two weeks from now and if we feel the need for the tried to be the most, I don’t know how to say it neutral.

Maria: 48:28

So they could ask questions know, where to check out the programs discuss their ideas and the financial literacy also.Liliana: 

48:41

that is a really important area also and they have like a workshop, like a month ago also. But we do that. This is related also with that. This is related also with some project that Carla had like he’s like the responsible for the training for the young people also.

Ivone: 49:01

yes, so I can go on for two hours, but now I will. Let Liliana, I would like to say one thing that is something that is particular for our house, that is, the experience of having a pre-autonomous group is something different and it gives us know-how. That is a good practice. Not having groups with very protected. They are small groups. The adult is always there then most of the times. In other organizations there are the apartments, autonomous apartments.

Ivone: 49:47

Then we have here a level in the middle that is the pre-autonomous and what we evaluate is a good practice because it is an autonomy, but inside the house, you know, and it’s like levels that they are going to go through, and I think it is something that differentiates us from other organizations this pre-autonomous group before the autonomous level and we also Right Because the girls see the pre-autonomous group as an inspiration, a dream.

Maria: 50:26

They are an example. It’s like having older sisters and brothers, you know, that are in a different level where I want to get you know. They really are examples for the other girls.

Carla: 50:42

And now we aim for a long time back to have apartments in the community and we just got it about one year and a half. And now another level is to go to outside home. So with less support, because they are more regulated and they have more self-regulation and self control on that, they are more skilled, that the transition will be smoother. But Liliana, you just didn’t hear that about the Adult Transition Plan were built. The girls participated on it. They also gave their. It was a co-participated process. Because they read it. They said here we did, we like to be like this, we can head this. This is not so important, so can you just explain that process of participation.

Liliana: 51:44

Yes, I think it is like a practice that we all in our house do in all methods and related to the pre-autonomous, of course, because, even because, even because of that, because there are old girls, so they have more critical, they are more connected, and we involve them, of course, in all the practice and all the things that we think that matter for their lives, cuts for their lives and the transitional plan for autonomous, but also the, all the documents, the, the, the rules not the rules like the internal regulations of the department, also before that, the role, the internal regulations of pre-autonomous also, and so they are always.

Liliana: 52:36

We always want them to participate, because only on that way it makes sense, and we do like meetings with them after dinner, in assemblies also, and so we discuss, we distribute the document, we take the document and so we ask them to read, to give them time to think about that, sometimes some days, and after that we go again and we want to, we want their feedback about what they think, the conditions, what could be different, what they feel the need that is not there, what they would do different and why, and some of their ideas make a lot of sense, and so we integrate that and we adapt that, and this is like a reflect of the participation that we want for the girls to have and, of course, if we do that also, we are also contributing for them to be part of something and for them to be like active in our society also. So they are always training their role on society. So I think it is very relevant and for all of us, it is the only way that makes sense.

Colby: 53:53

And to begin at 16, when do they graduate from the program, so to speak? About what age would they transition out of your program From?

Liliana: 54:04

the abutment.

Colby: 54:07

Out of the apartment or out into their own homes.

Liliana: 54:15

I think I tried to answer. If I didn’t understand very well, can you correct me please? Okay, so I think that is related to our law system, also the Portuguese law system. Our laws say that until for the age of 25, the girls or the boys can be on the social system right, our social system care, yes, but they have to be studying, like it is a condition.

Liliana: 54:43

the condition is that they have to be studying.

Liliana: 54:46

But I have my, all of my girls are studying.

Liliana: 54:49

So here in Portugal, if you want to go to the universities, like three years and more, two years for the master’s degree, and so easily they catch the 24, 25 years old.

Liliana: 55:03

So our work is to support them on that process. Of course, some of that girls begin to work sorry to study and then work on part-time, and so they are supportive on that also because we think that it’s good for them in all matters to have this balanced system and it’s good for their responsibility, it’s good for their budget management, it’s good for their responsibility, it’s good for their budget management, it’s good for their training, also for the financial, and it is like a step-by-step situation that we are giving support to them and working out on individual meetings, group meetings and so on, and we have this experience that they catch this opportunity, because a lot of these girls that I have right now, at this moment in the pre-autonomous, in the apartments, are girls that were financed by naturgy. You know this program that we are talking about like social, the scholarships that we talked like about 20 minutes ago or half an hour ago.

Colby: 56:17

I’m going to try and summarise all this and ask some other questions.

Ivone: 56:20

I’ll be doing well.

Liliana: 56:26

Yes, a lot of these girls were being supported. But a lot of these girls were being supported like in the whole school system, the Portuguese school system, like 12 years old, and after that, university for the ones that want to, and we motivate them a lot to be on the university and it’s like a nice group impression also because they see the other girls on the university, they want to go to the university. They have like this protective participation on school until the end of the high school and so I think it is really the impact of this programme, of Natalgy programme is outstanding.

Liliana: 57:14

It’s like life-changing.

Maria: 57:17

I would like to add to the answer one thing that these are the girls that continue in Livramento. And Portuguese government gives a huge help here too, because if you are in a residential care facility and you want to go to the university, public universities tend to have greater and difficult criteria to match, and so for a lot of young people in Portugal they go to private schools whose criteria are a bit achievable more achievable and, in the case of our girls, they apply to a scholarship, a public scholarship, and the majority of them have access to it because they are in residential care.

Maria: 58:16

and also, and answering to your question, some of the girls leave the program earlier if there is potential change in the families or whatever. Was that motivated them to be separated from their families? And me, carla and Bruna have experiences in managing processes where girls integrate, reintegrate their families before getting to Liliana’s group when they came to my group.

Liliana: 58:48

There are only autonomous work it out because there are no prevent. This is not the aim of return to the family. They want to be with Libermento, they want to be studying, they want to be there, and so we give them this opportunity and the courts agree with us saying that, okay, the girl wants to invest on themselves, they want to be on Livramento, they want to study, and we all the community support them on this process. So all the girls that I have are on an autonomy project.

Maria: 59:25

Can I just Same?

Liliana: 59:26

thing of Maria Carla and Bruna.

\Ivone: 59:29

I was just saying one thing, More than the age, of course the age is a criteria, but also in transition from different groups or transition to home, to society, is the evaluation of the competence. So age is important, the change, the transition from our three groups to Liliana’s group, the pre-autonomous of course, age is important 17, 18, but the competence is the most important and the regular emotional regulation Carla also and the regular emotional regulation Carla also competence social, emotional and so on, and functional, all the competence.

Liliana: 1:00:18

This is the criteria the competence.

Ivone: 1:00:20

We work and we intervene in the basis of the competence this was a topic you just point out, liliana, about Armory.

Carla: 1:00:31

I don’t know about families. Our whole intervention with families and of course, since the first moment they came into Livramento, family is an important target, considering we see family as a potential partner, but never forgetting the vulnerability of the families and never forget that if families were okay, girls were not here. So we work in this basis of trying to empower families, to integrate families in the work we do. It is a very difficult process sometimes, but because of that we made another application. So we are leaving application through application and another application to have some funds to do the work we want to do, because it is expensive. This is another challenge the sustainability of this process. So, bruna, lead this. Maybe you can develop a little bit this project. We had to work with families in a different model of those projects happening in Portugal, because we have another idea about how can work better this work with families towards the unification, towards going back in a good and safe conditions to family. Bruna, maybe can help.

Bruna: 1:02:05

Yes, in the first. Firstly, it was that the first objective about our work. But when we started working with the families, we changed a little bit and we would like to promote health relationships with them. So our model was a little bit different. Because we were, we came to the houses and worked there with the family In the context of feminism.

Bruna: 1:02:46

So we, and it was a little bit different because the family wouldn’t be arriving to the cabinet or a meeting in the house, in the living room. No, we would come to the houses and work with them, with the family.

Carla: 1:03:08

And with different people of family, as well the significant ones. Yes, we work with all of the system, so it was a logic of a systemic and family approach. In a systemic way empower families in their context and fill their routines.

Carla: 1:03:29

They are part of the solution, not part of the problem. So that is a different vision and we believe also, Bruna and Adriana, it was someone else who is a family therapist also. The purpose was this to make family to be the authors of their change, the responsible for their change, and in order to believe they are skilled and they can do it.

Bruna: 1:03:57

Of course, not all stories are of success, but the main purpose is to promote their skills and relationships. So that was accomplished.

Carla: 1:04:10

Something is very challenging for all of us is that the kids are removed from the home, their home, their natural places, and they were the victims, and then somehow there is an expectation of they go back to family, like if for magic, everything is okay after working with the kids in, uh out of their natural context. So the natural context must be interviewed and must be skilled.

Maria: 1:04:40

For since first moment maria go ahead, I was um, just going to add because it might sound a bit confusing, when bruna was doing this project, she was not a reference technician in the house.

Maria: 1:04:53

Yes, so she was not part of the team, she was an external, she had been working with us, but then she left and she started this project with adriana, which is a who is a family therapist with a specific methodology of intervening with family, guided by this university in Coimbra, with reference university, in systemic intervention with families, with their supervision and consulting. And she was not a part of the technical team. Otherwise it would be kind of a conflict of yes, yes, and then, after this project finished, then bruno was started to working with us and we also aim to make a second application to continue this project.

Carla: 1:05:49

It was a pilot one. It was also written like the structure of the program, the model we are implementing, and now maybe next year we plan to have another application to keep going on on this work, with some revision of the model we’re implementing about family. But also this intervention about family is part of our model, just like work with the carers of Livramento and with the eldest girls and so on, schools as well.

Colby: 1:06:28

Sorry, the schools. Do you interact with the schools that the girls go to?

Carla: 1:06:35

yeah, maybe you can explain better. It’s a very close relation, must be a very close relation with schools to prevent lots of things and promote lots of things.

Colby: 1:06:45

But maybe they can explain better than me because they are the ones who are working on it.

Ivone: 1:07:02

We contact not just with the director, the principal teacher, the reference teacher. But we also promote meetings with psychologists and the teachers, or pedopsychiatrists and the teachers’ network.

Maria: 1:07:22

We work with them, network, special network of the yes, and also there are elements very important. The staff from the school that are not teachers, the staff from the school that are not teachers that see?

Ivone: 1:07:44

they, yes, and they are important to know if they are well to give them information about the girls, they pay attention when they are playing or they share important information with elements from the school.

Carla: 1:08:04

They are strategic people on the field.

Bruna: 1:08:08

Yes on the field.

Ivone: 1:08:09

Yes, they are very possible to us, and then we make an intervention together.

Colby: 1:08:19

It sounds holistic, isn’t it?

Ivone: 1:08:22

Yes, that’s it.

Colby: 1:08:24

Yes, yes Must be. It sounds so wonderful what you’re doing. The jurisdiction in which I live and work residential care is very different to the way you describe it. There are a number of questions that I’ve had in my mind as each of you have been talking. I think it sounds like to me it would be fair to say that there’s been three significant transformations at Liveramento, particularly within, say, the last 50 years. So from the orphanage and the question I had was who was staffing the orphanage before the nuns were brought in, before?

Carla: 1:09:09

the nuns were brought in. Poor ladies Two very severe ladies Okay, managed about. I think we reached 136 girls in the beginning and then 18, 19, two severe ladies. When Engineer Almeida Sousa was invited in the 70s, he said he made a revolution. Yeah, so there was this he was making a revolution, and he started a revolution then, and then it was. In that period of time came the nuns, the nuns and did those.

Colby: 1:09:44

So a couple of things that are probably relevant to some of the previous conversations that we’ve had on our podcast, including about the transformation in the Cotswold community from a reformatory they call it a bore store, I think in the UK, but it’s young offenders, young male offenders to a therapeutic community around the same time. I would say but the person that you are referencing comes in. What do those two women do?

Carla: 1:10:17

They just take care of basic needs. The old girls were just very equal with themselves. They were not individual needs who responded, just they feed, they work on domestic tasks. They didn’t go to school. School it was inside, only the basic knowledge that only after 18 years old they was going out, but before that they were just closed like a kind of a prison we can say. So it was a very severe thing. Yeah, um, and that was like that not only in the middle, but it was a cultural thing in society in institutions across the portugals told that the children, the young girls between 14 and 18 wouldn’t leave.

Maria: 1:11:22

So they would stop leaving the house and the facilities when they got to the teenage years, or more or less 13, 14 years, and they did have kind of workshops where they would learn useful things like sewing et cetera. And then I think the thing that happened the most, as Ingeniero Almeida also told us, was that they would leave these facilities to go to families and like high society families and work like cleaning and cooking, etc. Um, and they would not leave before the age of 18. And he would tell other things that were not very pleasing to hear, like having windows painted, not to to, to look outside to the street, etc.

Carla: 1:12:17

So it was very much a closed institution and yeah institutionalized, but uh, basically yeah, and he comes 50 years back. We’ve made a big change.

Colby: 1:12:30

Yeah, and so he comes in. Did those ladies leave Livramento at that point in time? And the nuns came.

Colby: 1:12:41

Yeah, and the nuns came in, and he drew the nuns from outside of Portugal as well as within Portugal, is that right? Yeah, yeah, and so the whole culture, I guess, of the facility would have changed from one of basic subsistence and subservience to one of you described a focus on education and developing the individual and their capacity to lead a normal life, I guess an ordinary life, in the community at some point, and so that was quite revolutionary, as you described for such facilities as Liveramento was at that point in time. And then so they were there you said the nuns for about 40 years, so they must have overlapped with you, maria, and you and Von you were there when they were there, and you as well, carla, yeah, and me too also.

Liliana: 1:13:53

But you was just I was with them like one year and it was very interesting because my my admission was really but good, one can contextualize better my admission was concerning their um mission was concerning their um replacement living. Yeah, when I want to play about that, it’s like I’m I’m the one that was like the yes you are right.

Carla: 1:14:19

You are right, lilliana, and they still have the nans, because they are our friends. The, they still have here a home whenever they come to porto to go for a consultation and so on. They can sleep here and they come to visit us, they sleep here, they are invited so they still are part.

Colby: 1:14:36

Yes, yeah, wow, um, there’s so many questions I can, uh, could, ask you, but but, um, I’ll just go on with my little um. First little bit about the transformation. So, when that first major transformation, it was very much an opening up and a focus on education and developing the girls for life. And then you mentioned the nuns left and you had professional carers, I guess come in to the role. So that was, I think, and expectations that were imposed by the authorities in Portugal about what these therapeutic, what these residential care homes would look like and what would be the practices there.

Colby: 1:15:49

The education element continued to be very strong, the education element continued to be very strong, the education focus continued to be very strong, and then maybe even another time of transformation or whether it’s, you know, in actual fact, I’m starting to think that it’s just growth, it’s incremental growth and development of Livermento, where, from that time in the 70s where the new director came in and the nuns, and then what was set out by the authorities, I guess in the mid 2010s to then developing therapeutic model and, alongside that, what we would call a transition from care program. But the older girls, liliana, that you talked about, talked about and also the project to look at family connection and family reunification. So it’s really been, as far as I’m imagining it to be, a continuous growth and development over these past 50-odd years for Liveramento.

Maria: 1:17:17

And.

Colby: 1:17:18

I just think it’s remarkable, really, what you describe, what is happening and in amongst so many questions I could ask you, and in a month, so many questions I could ask you. I guess I was struck by how much of a family environment it must feel, which would be in many jurisdictions and many contexts, to describe a residential care facility as a family environment. People would think that that was not true, not accurate, yeah, but but you talk with I’m imagining in my mind girls from six and older growing up. They can see older girls who are going to going to private schools, um, graduating to, to the, uh, the older girls program, university, and that’s what happens in a regular family, isn’t it? You observe your older siblings as they progress and it sets aspirations, you know, aspirations beyond survival to aspirations of flourishing and thriving. How many girls kind of start 6, 7, 8, 9 and go right through and into the older girls’ program, to the apartment and beyond? Have you had, how many girls have you had that have been able to make that full progression?

Carla: 1:18:53

so in the last 15 years, there are a big change about the social protection system, because when I started and marie and carla, almost 80 percent of girls were less than 12 or 15, less less than 15. So and now we have only one girl with 10 years old and the average age is about 16 years old. The average age is different. More than 30% are 18 or plus. So, however, that was the question.

Ivone: 1:19:31

It was? Was it the girls that enter here with six years and go through and yeah, and?

Carla: 1:19:36

for one hand, we see, so we have some critical positions because we really do believe. I really do believe that residential care homes may be the best opportunity to life change of some girls in some situation and sometimes, when they come with 16 and 17, we don’t have much time to work on them because it’s different the time we have to transform For other hands. We also yes, hands. Because of this, we also. We also yes.

Ivone: 1:20:11

It’s first because of the attachment because they can live at 18.

Bruna: 1:20:17

If they can live, they can decide if they want, if they want.

Ivone: 1:20:22

They can live at 18. If they came here at 17, we have few time to have a secure attachment with them, so they yes, sometimes we didn’t have time to to to work on that less time with more problems.

Carla: 1:20:38

For another hand, we also have this experience of admissions of girls with 17 18.

Carla: 1:20:46

They ask to come to residential care home because they have this consciousness of how important it is to be protective and the difficulties families sometimes have concerning relation and interactions with families. So, however, I must say that, more than before, we have academic success, because we are between 99% and 100% of success in academic progress. Although all these challenges we have, the biggest challenge is whenever they come with 16-year-olds. They already were absent at school, they had problems at school and so on, were absent at school, had problems at school, and so on. So a protective factor, like we said, is not going to the same kind of schools from those they came, but to a different kind of schools. But that means a different kind of friends, of relationships, a different kind of vision about the future, of another significant ones around the social context they start to live, and that is empowerment also because they see how this is different, I can do like the other girls, I can do like this and then they become ambitious. So I don’t know if you answer your question, colby now we have just one.

Ivone: 1:22:09

Now we have just one girl, I, I think that came here at 5.6 and is in university. We have five. We have five girls.

Colby: 1:22:22

Five currently at university.

Maria: 1:22:24

I was doing the exercise and I can remember at least five girls that started really little in Livramento and that are between the 20 and 25, yeah, years old, yeah, and that’s over.

Colby: 1:22:40

Well, that would be over the last 20 years, within the last 20 years, I guess yeah yeah, yeah, and so I guess what I’m also understanding is that there has been a change that is probably roughly 10 years or so ago, where the complexity and the age of the girls went up when they came in. Am I right in thinking that? Yeah, so that interests me a great deal from the point of view of what you’re doing, bruna. So are we saying that these are girls who are 15, 16, 17,?

Bruna: 1:23:25

that you’re looking at family reintegration with, or are they younger girls On that program.

Colby: 1:23:31

It was that ages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they, yeah. And were they coming? Where are these girls coming from that are coming at 15, 16, 17? Are they coming from foster care? Are they coming from their birth family? Where are they coming from?

Carla: 1:23:48

Well, in Portugal we are just as you know. We have the opposite rates concerning the rest of Europe and the world. So 80% of Portuguese girls with these factors live in residential care homes. Only now we are trying to change this percentage, this weight concerning foster families. So we are still very, very we have very few foster families, maybe 2% of the young people in the system, so mostly they are. They come from families directly to residential care home, also because of their age, because it’s easier to go to a foster care family when they are younger, not with 16 or 17. That pushes to think about the prevention intervention, preventive intervention in the prevention intervention, preventive intervention in the field. How it happens, because I believe, if the girls can, with 16 or 17, the risk factors were there since long time back and never changed, so that is another situation that’s it to to get.

Colby: 1:25:15

If those girls are primarily coming from their birth family and the birth family are um, um, I struggle with their parents are struggling greatly to provide the level of care, uh and that that they need, it’s remarkable to see a transformation whereby they can either, or both, successfully reintegrate into a family environment that is much safer and much more able to respond to their needs. It’s also remarkable to think that those young people have an opportunity to complete their education and go on to higher education as well. I mean, we know that education really is the key to rising out of poverty and for our children and young people in out-of-home care, for them to change the trajectory of their life, and in doing so, of course, we’re changing lives of their children and grandchildren and so on. So there’s tremendous human capital built through services like yours, where you are changing the trajectory of the lives of young women. When your former director, when he arrived in the early 1970s, how many girls were in the orphanage at that time?

Carla: 1:26:59

I remember when he came, yeah, oh, more than 80. I believe 86, 87. And then when I start, I remember 76, 77, when I start, then, when I became director, it was an objective to have less girls here, objective to have less girls here, and then we reach the number of 45, our protocol. But these 45 are divided in units of 9.

Colby: 1:27:39

I’m just wondering how that was achieved to reduce the numbers of girls at Livramento.

Carla: 1:27:51

How we did it. Yes, we proposed to social services to reduce the number because at the same time we became working more in individual process of the girl, with more trying to promote the development, to organize everything of each goal. They have a different level of intervention. The nuns intervention it was very good but it was a very family in a very family way also, very family in a very family way also. So we felt it was not standable. We could not stand to work with so many girls and to go deeply in the work on them. Even today we feel they are too much.

Carla: 1:28:38

So maybe the girls are too much, or maybe we are too few, the human Christophs. So we then made a proposal, and that it was accepted to videos.

Colby: 1:28:50

Okay, it’s been quite the process of developing and rolling out the therapeutic model with Patrick’s assistance. I’m just curious as to how it’s been received by the carers on the ground, the carers that look after the young people. How have they received it? Have there been any challenges in being able to implement with them?

Maria: 1:29:24

implement with them. Well, we decided that the best way to start implementing the model was to use the training as a source of gradually promoting the appropriation of people and being such a challenging work and emotionally challenging work for them who are in the front line of everyday management with the work, to absorb whatever tools or reflections or knowledge towards the work. It’s interesting that we were just focusing on the changes, because I think one of the challenges of implementing the model was also the clash between recent entries, professional entries in Livramento, and the professionals that were already working in Livramento for several years. And we do still have a few educators that worked there for several years, even though the majority are more recent recruitments.

Maria: 1:30:48

And I think the challenge in the beginning was this is not safe, you know, because everything was done in a certain way and now people are expecting us to think about the work, to express ourselves about the work.

Maria: 1:31:07

To express ourselves about the work, to agree on certain basic things and anchor things and to agree on things that have to change. And there are cultural issues that are very positive, of a religious background and a certain way of managing things, but there are also not that positive things associated with that culture and that we have to change, and that we still have to change. We have to be very aware of things that are very rooted in the way of managing things and that are not helpful, and and so that was one of the challenges, the resistance to change, um, but I think that throughout the process of doing the trainings, I think people understood that it was more helpful than damaging to participate, to engage in reading the materials that we distributed. We also do manage the training rotatively. I mean, I’m leading the project, but I’m not the only one that is doing the sessions. Every one of us is doing them, and everybody is doing them and everybody.

Maria: 1:32:28

So everyone is doing it and we do, everyone in the technical team, obviously, and everyone is attending to the sessions.

Maria: 1:32:37

Uh, even the boards of administration has sessions to have a certain level, appropriate level of knowledge of what is being done in livramento and what is working with traumatized people and what helps and what not. Helps the cooks have, the general services have, the educators have sessions, and that is very relevant. Our method is this we share a bit of material, we share a bit of the model, but we can share things that are not part of the model. An article we can build a two or three pages on an issue that is became relevant in a certain point of time, and then we don’t do like a very uh, like class, uh, format. You know, we share the material material ahead and then we discuss uh, what were the thoughts about that, what experiences are we having related to this issue, what did people do, what they think about, what they felt about it. And then, in this way, I think we are not giving all the answers, we are just giving a way of thinking about the work and a way of reflecting about the work and the needs of the girls.

Colby: 1:34:07

We want people to think about what they’re doing and to be supported and encouraged to stop and think about the work, how it’s impacting us, what we’re doing, and one of the other things that’s really came through in these podcasts is the importance of doing that right through the organisation you know and across all the roles in the organisation. You want an organisation that is aligned, that has a common knowledge base, has a common philosophy or approach and there’s an understanding across the organisation of what that looks like.

Carla: 1:34:57

Yeah, something else we felt it was very important and it was a change is about the recruitment process, because the characteristics and profile of staff are very, very important and in Portugal they are not obliged to be graduated the one who take care directly with children. Sometimes they are not so much skilled and our recruitment process we made a system with the help also of Patrick is focused on the character, the sense of mission, the sense of purpose and so on, the values of people and the resilience also, because that’s very important. It’s very easy to become vicarious, trauma or burnout, so it must be emotionally very strong and also with sense of purpose to work in a place like this one, and the recruitment process becomes a very important instrument.

Ivone: 1:36:02

We made about different moments, that we have different moments, methodology that we apply of support the educators, the carers in meetings to the technical and the carer or in a group, and also the training meetings and the training. Can you help me, Maria João?

Maria: 1:36:30

just clarify what I’m saying so um, when we thought about the model and the appropriation of the model. This is the more formal way of appropriating, but what Carla is saying is that we also thought about all the of the group processes inside Livramento, and the group processes go from the start the group process from children until the group process between different layers of the team, and so we are responsible for a set of people each one of us and so we have the responsibility to meet in a trustworthy how do you say it? Frequency, and in those meetings that can be in a one-to-one or one-to-three groups, we discuss what is going on, what people are feeling about what’s going on and what strategies may be put in place to manage what’s going on, what people are feeling about what’s going on and what strategies may be put to place to manage what’s going on. Um, we also have these meetings with yvonne. We have these meetings with the ones that are at our responsibility.

Maria: 1:37:36

The educators have these meetings with the girls, with the group assemblies, and we do have meetings directly with the girls in a holistic way, as we spoke before, but also in a in a more internal way of managing things with, for example, the assessment of their development and and the building of the plan of intervention with the girls, and so all of this is support. All of this is also appropriation of the model and a way to maintain as healthy as possible dynamics inside the liveramento and if this is reliable and systemic, etc.

Maria: 1:38:21

it’s less probable for collusions and subcultures to develop, etc, you know, or it’s difficult for them to happen without visibility. That’s what I mean to say.

Carla: 1:38:36

And we also have supervision, you know, with Patrick and the team and me too, and now the team felt the need of having some more clinical supervision. Let’s say and we add someone to this team and maybe something we didn’t say about all the applicants we tried to have a scientific committee that could go through all the phases of the application of the projects and also reflect with us at the same time. So it was a supportive system all the time in our situations.

Colby: 1:39:17

I mean, I expect nothing less of Patrick, of course, and the contribution that he’s made and the contribution that he’s made. I recall a conversation that I had with Patrick some time ago where I’m just I’m trying to think of the. We were talking about questions that you might ask an organisation or ask a group of practitioners about the work, to kind of draw out what’s really important. And in the context of that conversation I said I’ll. I think there’s only really three questions that you need to ask and answer Maria just said two of them, but in your presentation earlier all three were encapsulated and that is to be able to stop and think what’s really going on here that’s question number one and to have a theoretical framework which helps us answer that question what’s really going on here? What’s going on for our clients, but also what’s going on for ourselves?

Colby: 1:40:29

The next question is what can we do to respond therapeutically to what’s really going on here? And that’s where the model of care comes in. And often the model of care can have both it can have the understanding of what we need to know and how we best understand our service recipients and also what we need to do to respond therapeutically. And then the third question, of course, is how do we know we’re making a difference? And I think you talked about a constant process of evaluating and, of course, if we don’t turn our minds to what success looks like in our endeavours, then all the problems just take up our attention and we struggle to see those things.

Colby: 1:41:24

So I think you know evaluation and constant evaluation, review and improvement is so important and very much based on having in our minds what success, what a good outcome looks like. So I’ve heard all of those things today, so that’s terrific. I know we’re sitting on just a little bit over an hour and a half. I usually give people who come on the podcast the opportunity to ask me a question if they like. I probably would suggest that we don’t have five questions of me, but did you think about a question that you might like to ask me before we go, because I love answering questions without notice?

Maria: 1:42:18

Yeah, we discussed a little bit before the beginning.

Maria: 1:42:23

So recently I mean, I’ve heard about your podcast, uh, because patrick told us about it, and uh, I went and searched and heard I think three episodes and I thought it was. I was really blown away by the work of dr nicola sullivan I think it’s her name and the work that Sally Rhodes did with families, which sounded very innovative and very mind blowing, I thought. And so I was like Colby has access to people that are doing good and innovative things, good and innovative things. And so, since you have that access and you are doing this that you’re doing, we would like to know, from your position and your lenses, looking out not only in Australia but throughout the world, what innovative things have been or have been coming up to you in the field of residential care that you think it’s relevant to share with us and with whoever is listening okay, um, there’s so many things that that I would um say so far, from the various podcasts with people with experience in residential care, the things that really stick out for me, one is preserving family connection, I think.

Colby: 1:43:58

Well, I don’t think. I believe that our attachment style, the way in which we approach life and relationships, is an amalgamation of all of our significant attachment experiences. They’re all of our important relationships, contribute to our overall attachment style. So you have attachment relationships and those relationships can be secure, insecure, disorgan, disorganized, whatever. And then you have attachment style, which is how a person approaches life and relationships in consideration of all of their attachment experiences and how that is reflected in their internal working model or attachment representations model or attachment representations. So it’s very difficult to achieve attachment security in terms of security of attachment style when you leave certain relationships damaged, when you leave certain relationships damaged unrepaired, and that happens too often in our out-of-home care system.

Colby: 1:45:12

So I think, one of the things that has really stood out for me, and even going back to the Cotswold community in the UK where Patrick first started his work, the Cotswold community in the UK where Patrick first started his work what I understand to be the case about other such programs and therapeutic schools the Mulberry Bush School is this acknowledgement of the importance of preserving and repairing and strengthening connection with family and how those places including now in the supported accommodation facilities in the UK that I know of the children go home?

Colby: 1:46:00

They go home for special occasions In the therapeutic schools. They go home in the holidays, special occasions In the therapeutic schools, they go home in the holidays. So these are very, I guess is full of risk, that we can’t get rid of all risk for our young people, that we need to be able to manage risk, but we also need to ensure that our children have good family connection. So, in a nutshell, I think it’s been, with various programs, the totally different approach to preserving birth-family connection. Yeah, and that’s why I was really interested to hear about the work that Bruna had been doing as well and that you’re seeking to do more of had been doing as well, and that you’re seeking to do more of.

Colby: 1:47:28

I think you brought. You mentioned two of our previous guests, maria and Sally. Sally is from my jurisdiction. I provide clinical supervision for her team and they do terrific things in terms of getting children home, getting children, young people home. Nicola is in Ireland and a secondary interest for me beyond residential care is supervision, supervision and support, and what I’ve noticed with most of my guests is this idea of you know everyone in the organisation having supervision.

Colby: 1:48:19

Now, you referred to meetings as well as supervision, but what I mean by that is that everyone has the opportunity to stop and think and reflect and talk about the work and talk about the individuals where that’s appropriate. So I think that’s it shouldn’t be innovative, but it is. Would be my observation. And look, and I don’t have thank you for suggesting it might be the case, maria, but I don’t have necessarily the reach that you were saying in terms of people I know from the jurisdictions in which I have worked is that you know not everyone in the organisation.

Colby: 1:49:12

In fact, very few people in our statutory child protection departments, for example, have even the opportunity to just stop and think about the work that they’re doing, its impact on them, what’s really going on for them and for the children and young people that they’re making decisions about how to respond to their needs therapeutically and how we know that we’re making a positive difference in our lives. I think without supervision, without that setting aside of time to stop and think, the work becomes very, loses its heart and just becomes very procedural. I’ve said that in other podcasts as well when we stop thinking about what we’re doing, we just become very heartless and procedural and that’s awful for our young people. Sorry, maria.

Maria: 1:50:13

No, that was a great answer and I do agree with everything that you said. I think we all do, and I think this is also a challenge, you know, because we have this in this structured way since we designed the model. Obviously, meetings happened before that, but we didn’t think about the flux of meetings in a systemic and systematic way. Flux of meetings in a system, systemic and systematic way, and maintaining it, it’s a very for us at least, it’s a very great challenge because, uh, because of several factors, but one of them being that our context is very unpredictable, although we try to bring the most predictability that we can. And it’s challenging not to reschedule, not to drop the meetings that are planned, etc. But I do think that this is essential to our work to have. They might be small, like short slots of conversations, or longer, it doesn’t matter.

Maria: 1:51:35

I think anxieties go down when people know that they can count on this one meeting that they are going to have in two days and that it’s very probable that it’s not going to blow away and not happen.

Maria: 1:51:52

You know, and when we have adults that are less anxious, we will have children that are probably less anxious also, and so there, I realized that we all reckon that, uh, when we started doing this, you know you can always spot on people that are struggling, and I think the nature of human beings is jump to judgments and think, oh, that person has a problem, she she’s not fitting in, or or she’s always struggling in the same issues, and it’s very easy for us to personalize an issue on someone rather than on the way things are happening on around and in the system.

Maria: 1:52:42

And what was kind of evident to me is that we will always have people that are struggling and whose profiles might be relevant to the good work. But when the system is working, it’s less probable that this is going to have a negative impact in the girls and the young people. And I’m not saying that we don’t sometimes fail, I mean, and that a meeting doesn’t happen. But I am also very aware that when that happens, things start to happen, you know, like anxiety starts to arise and issues that might have been contained in a certain point are are not contained. And so that’s why we all of us value so much this consistency and this stream of places where people can think about what they’re, what is going on, what they’re feeling about the work and the girls, but not only the girls the work in general and feel supported and listened to, and that is one very, very relevant issue of our work.

Colby: 1:54:03

Well, listen, thank you again for um agreeing to take part in the podcast. Hopefully, um, you, we, we kind of uh are able to present all the things that you wanted to present. Um, I think it is such a it’s such a fantastic endeavour that you’re involved in and I’m really pleased to be able to make it public through this podcast. So I just wish you all the best in your continuing endeavours on behalf of the young people, and maybe we might have another chat another time if you’re open to it.

Liliana: 1:54:51

Yes, of course.

Carla: 1:54:52

Yes, thank you very much.

Bruna: 1:54:56

Thank you very much, Colby

.Ivone: 1:54:57

Thank you.

Liliana: 1:54:58

Thank you, thank you All right.

Breaking Cycles: Healing Across Generations with Dr. Lisa Cherry

The Transformative Power of Trauma-Informed Practice: Insights from Dr. Lisa Cherry

In a compelling conversation on the Secure Start podcast, Dr. Lisa Cherry shares profound insights on trauma-informed practice, drawing from her 35 years of experience working with vulnerable children and young people. As the Director of Trauma Informed Consultancy Services Limited and author of several influential books, Dr. Cherry brings a unique perspective that combines academic knowledge, professional expertise, and powerful lived experience.

One of the most striking themes throughout the discussion is the concept of breaking intergenerational cycles. Dr. Cherry reflects on raising her own children, now 26 and 28, and how this process confronted her with her own childhood experiences. “People often talk about breaking cycles,” she notes, “and for me, it’s about breaking cycles. There are some things that just repeat, but actually there are some cycles that can be broken.” This perspective highlights the intergenerational nature of trauma work – we’re not just helping individuals in front of us but potentially influencing generations to come.

Dr. Cherry’s journey from being in care herself to becoming homeless, then eventually finding her way to university and a career advocating for vulnerable young people, provides a powerful narrative thread throughout the conversation. Her experience of writing to the director of social services as a child and making complaints in children’s homes foreshadowed her future career path. This early advocacy demonstrates how lived experience can shape professional passion and purpose, providing authentic insight that academic knowledge alone cannot offer.

Language emerged as a critical focus in the discussion. Dr. Cherry emphasizes the urgent need to address how we talk about children and young people in care systems. “The language that is used to describe children and young people is hugely problematic,” she states. “It’s hugely problematizing of those children and young people, and it shapes and forms the way that they are viewed and the way that they are seen.” This observation highlights how seemingly small linguistic choices can perpetuate harm and influence both service delivery and children’s self-perception.

Another key insight focuses on understanding behaviour as communication. Dr. Cherry challenges practitioners to recognize that children rarely have the capacity to articulate their trauma verbally. Instead, they show their struggles through behaviour. This perspective requires professionals to develop self-awareness about their own nervous system responses and relationship with shame. As Dr. Cherry explains, “It’s very, very difficult to think about behaviour as communication if you don’t have the time and space to think about how you communicate your own distress when you’re distressed.”

The podcast conversation also examines the systemic challenges facing care and education services. Dr. Cherry highlights how reduced funding, diminished capacity, and increasingly procedural approaches make genuine relational work more difficult. “We have to stop thinking about people as machines fulfilling a role,” she insists. “This is relational work. Relational work is deep, it’s meaningful, it’s connecting.” This observation points to the need for systems that prioritize connection and proper staff wellbeing to enable truly transformative work with vulnerable young people.

Dr. Cherry’s three books – “The Brightness of Stars,” “Conversations that Make a Difference for Children and Young People,” and “Weaving a Web of Belonging” – each contribute unique perspectives to the field of trauma-informed practice. Her focus on making these books accessible and practical for busy practitioners demonstrates her commitment to creating real-world impact. Her current focus on supporting the wellbeing of practitioners themselves recognizes that those doing the direct work with traumatized children need profound support themselves.

Listen here:

Watch here:

About Lisa:

Dr Lisa Cherry is the Director of Trauma Informed Consultancy Services Ltd leading a dynamic and creative organisation that provides a ‘one stop’ approach to delivering on research, consultancy and learning and development.

Lisa is an author, researcher, leading international trainer and consultant, specialising in assisting schools, services and systems to create systemic change to the way that we work with those experiencing and living with, the legacy of trauma.

Lisa has been working in and around Education and Children’s Services for over 35 years and combines academic knowledge and research with professional expertise and personal experience.

Lisa has worked extensively across many sectors with Social workers, Educators, Probation Workers and those in Adult Services, training and speaking to over 35,000 people around the world including in the US, Australia and Pakistan and across the whole of the UK.

Lisa has produced multiple pieces of research for various settings and Lisa’s own MA research looked at the impact on education and employment for care experienced adults who experienced school exclusion as children in the 1970’s and 1980’s.

In February 2024 Lisa completed her DPhil research at The University of Oxford in the Department of Education. The research asked “How do care experienced adults who were also excluded from school make sense of belonging?”

Lisa is the author of the hugely successful and award winning book ‘Conversations that make a difference for Children and Young People’ (2021), ‘The Brightness of Stars’ 3rd Edition (2022) and Weaving a Web of Belonging: Developing a Trauma-Informed Culture for All Children (2025).

Related Podcasts:

Dr Hayley Lugassy

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Transcript:

Colby: 0:01

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast.

Lisa: 0:04

Taking your children into adulthood is probably one of the deepest education experiences that I’ve had. People often talk about breaking cycles, breaking the cycle and for me it’s about breaking cycles. There are some things that just repeat, but actually there are some cycles that can be broken, and being able to really be present, be connected, be consistent, for my children as adults feels to me like a really beautiful breaking of a cycle. We have to stop thinking about children coming out of care and that’s the end of service. The people who are doing the work you know the direct work are giving something of themselves every time they do that, and what I’m focused on in my next book is how do we make sure that those people, that the people doing that work are looked after in a really deeply and profound way so that they can do that work?

Lisa: 1:20

We need to sort out the language. The language that is used to describe children and young people is hugely problematic. It’s very, very difficult to think about behaviour as communication if you don’t have the time and space to think about how you communicate your own distress when you’re distressed. And this is what happens when you starve systems and you reduce capacity and you take away funding and you make the work really, really intense. Unfortunately, it makes real relational work much harder.

Colby: 2:01

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce, and joining me for this episode is an author, researcher and leading international trainer and consultant who specialises in assisting schools, services and systems to create change to the way that we work with those experiencing and living with the legacy of trauma. Before I introduce my guests, I’d just like to acknowledge that I’m meeting with them on Kaurna land, and I’d just also like to acknowledge the continuing connection that the living Kaurna people feel to land, waters, culture and community, and pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. My guest for this episode is Dr Lisa Cherry. Lisa is the Director of Trauma Informed Consultancy Services Limited. She leads a dynamic and creative organisation that provides a one-stop approach to delivering on research, consultancy and learning and development.

Colby: 3:12

Lisa has been working in and around education and children’s services for over 35 years and combines academic knowledge and research with professional expertise and personal experience. Lisa’s MA research looked at the impact on education and employment for care experienced adults who experienced school exclusion as children in the 1970s and 80s. In February 2024, lisa completed her Doctor of Philosophy research at the University of Oxford. The research asked how do care experienced adults who are also excluded from school make sense of belonging. Lisa is the author of the hugely successful and award winning book Conversations that Make a Difference for Children and Young People, published in 2021, as well as the Brightness of Stars, which is in its third edition, and Weaving a Web of Belonging Developing a Trauma-Informed Culture for All Children, which has been published this year. Welcome Lisa.

Lisa: 4:23

Thank you, Colby. It’s lovely to be here and thank you for such a warm introduction.

Colby: 4:30

You’re welcome. Is there anything that I left out that you think is important for our listeners to know about the work that you’ve done and continue to do?

Lisa: 4:40

Well, listen, bios are just inherently quite uncomfortable to listen to, aren’t they? Because they sound so, you know, like Formal, like yeah, they’re just like a lot, which is lovely, and at this stage of life, you would expect to have a bio that’s got quite a lot of stuff in it, because you know you’ve been yeah, I’ve been around a long time. I guess the only other thing that would be worth mentioning is that I have two adult children and I’m a grandma, and um, taking your children into adulthood is is probably one of the deepest education experiences that I’ve had.

Colby: 5:26

I’ve always said the same yeah, I mean, it’s probably our greatest achievement, isn’t it? And also our greatest. Our kids are often our greatest teachers.

Lisa: 5:38

Oh God, I mean, it’s really difficult to even talk about them without feeling emotional. You know it’s such an emotional thing and I think, when you’ve also had to recover from your own childhood experiences and felt some of the weight of that appear in your own children in that intergenerational way, that that works. That is very confronting. It’s very confronting.

Lisa: 6:12

There were periods that were like being in therapy every day you know, as as that experience is mirrored back and I’m now at a place they’re 26 and 28, and I’m now at a place where I see what’s mirrored back is more healing and more recovery and just how much connection and support your children need, with a deep, deep awareness that I had nothing like that. And so when we think about I listen to people often talk about breaking cycles, breaking the cycle, and for me it’s about breaking cycles. There are some things that just repeat, but actually there are some cycles that can be broken, and being able to really be present, be connected, be consistent for my children as adults feels to me like a really beautiful breaking of a cycle.

Colby: 7:20

Yeah, yeah, wonderful. We’ve heard some other stories on the podcast so far, one in particular in Graham Kerridge’s podcast that really reflected the significance of breaking the cycle, and it’s something that is very near and dear to my heart. It’s something that is very near and dear to my heart, and I often think that our work is intergenerational as well in its impacts. Sure, and so it’s not just the person or the people in front of us that we’re effectively working with. We’re working with their spouse, future spouses or part life partners there and their own children and grandchildren through, as you say, what transmits through, through the generations so it’s very powerful and important work that we do.

Lisa: 8:22

Yeah, I love that and I love that kind of circle of life. You know, and I always talk about healing Often we might be healing an ancestral wound we don’t even know we’re carrying. That is from somewhere completely different. And when we’re talking about children and young people who’ve experienced fractured childhoods and adoption and care and all of those things, then they’re often working with something within themselves which will appear across the life course that they might not know where that comes from, they might not know they’re even healing and that’s deep.

Colby: 9:05

And then when you bounce into the future and you start thinking about the future, those future spouses and future children I just think it’s such, it’s such a privilege and it’s such beautiful work yeah, it was interesting because, um, graham got me thinking about this and his training was as an economist and his interest was in human capital, and it was such a totally different way of thinking about the work we do, because I’m not an economist.

Colby: 9:43

In fact, um, my bank balance reflects very, very well that that that is the case, but, um, yeah, yeah, but I mean it was it’s a nice way of putting it anyway the looking at it from a human capital point of view, that I hadn’t done that before, but, yes, certainly I have been for a while, um, very much aware of that intergenerational impact of our work. Lisa, I think people who know you would know that your work in this space is influenced by personal experience growing up. Um is influenced by personal experience growing up, um, but I wonder if you, if you can perhaps say just in your own words, what got you into the work, um, that you’ve been doing this past 35 years or so?

Lisa: 10:40

yeah, I mean it’s. It’s a really interesting one, isn’t it? And, without a shadow of a doubt, my experience of being in care has, you know, provided me with my work, and I guess there are aspects of that that are part of me and my personality and the things that I care about and I’m passionate about, like you know, I remember as a very young child being very passionate about justice, being very passionate about the society that we lived in, um, and so I guess I could have gone into different avenues. I wanted to be Kate Adie. I wanted to be a war correspondent. You know I was.

Lisa: 11:22

I thought that looked absolutely amazing and, of course, going in know, doing research is is kind of like, really sophisticated. You know, I don’t know if researchers would like this, but journalism and research really sit closely together and I was always very interested by journalism and wanting to tell stories and wanting to highlight things that were wrong and that needed change, and I felt that very much growing up. But going into care of course exposes you to a world that is very different than a world that you would see if you weren’t in care. So you start being exposed to a whole range of professions you might be, you’ll be exposed to residential social workers, to foster carers, to social workers. Nowadays you’ll also have CAMHS workers and of back then also IROs, you know, an independent reviewing officer, and there’s all these different types of jobs.

Lisa: 12:29

And if you’re not really engaged in education for because you’ve got like loads of stuff going on um, then it’s almost like a kind of careers um opening up. You know there’s all these types of jobs and there’s these ways of doing things. So I think the combination of who I was and I was the sort of um child who was often writing to the director of social services and making complaints and, you know, kind of seeking justice in the in in the children’s home and stuff like that um and that combination I think, then of seeing people and also experiencing um a social worker I’m still in contact with Eunice who, who I always refer to as the the only social worker whose name I remember, you know we’d sit in her Ford Escort. I’d be crying, going why is everything so shit, and she’d be making me feel better and I thought that looks like a great. Get a ford escort and you get to make people feel better.

Colby: 13:31

Give me the ford escort bit a bit yeah, what’s not to love about that?

Lisa: 13:37

you know, so, at sort of 15, 15, 16 she. She was my social worker only for about a year and a half, but, um, very influential. Um, probably not at the time realizing how influential she was, but I kind of looked at um different social workers and thought I like I would like to do that, so that’s, those seeds were then planted. I mean, unfortunately, coming out of care I then had, I was homeless for a couple of years and I didn’t have an education because I had been expelled from schools. And you know, that came a bit later and I was lucky enough to get some funding to do a sociology degree, um, at the age of 21. Um, I had to do a couple of a levels which I was pretty diabolical at, but I obviously ticked the right boxes help me the right, help me boxes and and got into uni and and did sociology, which just further really cemented um how I felt about wanting to create change socially. Um, so, yeah, yeah and Lisa I’m.

Colby: 14:52

There’s a lot in there, but I’m the first thing that I was recalling, and I think you shared you must have shared this video at one stage was a younger version of yourself on a. Was a younger version of yourself being interviewed on a talk show about. That must be back around that time that you were at university and maybe even before. But talking about young people in care.

Lisa: 15:16

Yeah, so I guess because I was very articulate, pretty feisty and have a bit of a streak of determination in me, that did get picked up when I was younger, from different organizations and I’d been in a night shelter um around the age of 17, 18 um called Centrepoint um who are a big charity for youth homelessness in the UK and at the time a man called Nick Hardwick was the CEO and once I’d come out of that we’d kind of stayed in touch a bit. I’d been housed. I was then at uni and he asked me if I’d go on this Channel 4 programme about homelessness with John Snow, who’s an incredibly wonderful journalist, who’s retired now from his time on Channel 4 News element and wanting to create change and going through that process of being quite vulnerable. Because you know, I think when I met Nick many years later you know he said that they had only just started thinking about children coming out of care and homelessness. That actually the vision at the time so I’m going back to the late 80s, early 90s was very much that homelessness was a step you know this idea of an older male drinking.

Lisa: 16:55

You know that there wasn’t a real deep understanding about children coming out of care and being homeless, which which so many of us were, and that piece was part of a massive campaign. We did lots of things. We did Channel 4. We did lots of newspaper items and magazines and all sorts of things to really raise awareness that children were coming out of care and they were becoming homeless for lots of different reasons, you know. One of them might have been just to get as far away from that care experience as possible, thinking you can cope and you can do stuff, and not being able to Alongside. We didn’t have legislation back then that made sure that children weren’t homeless and that there were lots of options. There weren’t lots of options, actually, when you came out of care, so it was a really, really tricky time.

Colby: 17:52

Yeah, and I think it’s something that’s still being grappled with in many jurisdictions around the world. In my own local jurisdiction, um and I think you mentioned something in there that resonates with me that often my observation with young people and I’ve worked long term with the young people that I do see and will continue to see them professionally post care but oftentimes the last thing that they want is for any authority to be assisting them in any way. They just want done with the government running their lives and sadly, I mean that’s a bit of an indictment on their experience in care and also sadly sets them up for a tough run, as you experienced as well, with homelessness and various other challenges being part of their experience post-care.

Lisa: 19:03

And that’s why we have to stop thinking about children coming out of care and that’s the end of service. That has to be in the same way that you have with your own children. There has to be that ability, you know, because your own kids might turn around as well. You know, both my kids were trying to live independently long before they could and I think that’s quite a normal thing to happen. But of course there’s that elastic band, that continuous coming back. We need to really think about services in a very different way that understands the science that underpins child development, for a start, and that also understands 18 to 25 year olds in terms of a um, the, the work that’s been done around contextual safeguarding um, so that we, so that people have that opportunity to recover from some of those experiences. But they can also come back, just like your own kids can.

Colby: 20:10

Yes, and I’ve already done a podcast interview with Kiran Modi, who set up Udain Care in India, and remarkable, remarkable person and what they’ve done. And, as you say, they provide a place and people that care leavers can come back to right through to their mid-20s and beyond. They have what she called volunteer mentor parents in their residential homes who are parental figures for life for the young people that go through there. Oftentimes, I think we I wonder about this, I wonder whether in our white Western, you know, first world kind of mentality, we think we’re doing it better than um anyone else and and and uh, the challenges that we have would be the same everywhere. But um, you know, you know, my experience just very recently in talking to someone from india is that you, you can do it um very differently and provide extraordinary levels of support and opportunity for our young people.

Colby: 21:27

Um, anyway, uh, the other thing that that stood out for me in when you were talking was you talked about Eunice and her. I think it was Eunice and her Ford Escort and um, I wonder if there was any. And you also talked about um john snow, the journalist, but also the other chap put you in touch with him and um, I was wondering if there’s anyone else that you’d like to you know, acknowledge, or that you would acknowledge uh as having had a really important and significant um uh impact on you travelling this path, walking this path.

Lisa: 22:08

Yeah, I mean to be honest, I wouldn’t know where to start and I think that’s really part of our work, really, isn’t it, that people influence you along the way. I do remember somebody else I don’t know their name, but I was living in Cornwall. I’d gone down to Cornwall, I was homeless. I was. I lived across all sorts of different types of non-housing across Cornwall for for a few months before I went to London, which is where I kind of Cornwall for for a few months before I went to London, which is where I kind of uh was, was saved, if you like. Um and some journalists came down from shelter and did a piece on homelessness and as soon as I got to London, I went straight down to the shelter head office on Old Street and became a really pain in the arse volunteer um, which was, um, one of the first experiences that I had, but it was again. It was. It was a stunning experience because it was the 21st uh anniversary. So it would have been, I suppose, 1987, something like that, the 21st anniversary of Kathy Come Home. And we had this amazing event with all these very famous people, and there’s a wonderful picture of me stood next to Jeremy Irons, kind of gazing at Jeremy Irons on this stand, this podium stand, at the age of I must well, maybe I was 17, 18, and so those were the kind of things that really, really influenced me.

Lisa: 23:46

But, as I say, you can’t take away who you are as a person as well, because the first thing I did when I got to London was I’m going to find that journalist, that person who did that writing piece.

Lisa: 23:59

I want to be there, I want to do that, you know, and I think that’s why it’s so important for children, young people, to meet as many different types of people as possible.

Lisa: 24:09

I can’t remember her name, but what happened was a chain of events that led me into a campaigns department, that led me to start writing articles for their magazine, you know, all of those kind of things that really showed me where my passion was, and so, mostly across my work, I’ve never felt like I’m working because I found that passion, I found what I wanted to do, and if we can give that gift I found what I wanted to do and if we can give that gift to to young people, how incredible is that to have this exposure to so many different people with different ways of life that spark and ignite a passion that, yes, you’re not. You’re not always going to be doing the things that you really want to do, but you’re going to be in that field. So, yeah, I feel very, very fortunate and can’t ever really feel cross about the experiences that I had, because they gifted me those types of events that have given me the ability to work from a place of passion.

Colby: 25:27

Yeah, it’s a not uncommon, I guess, response from people who have experienced hardship in their life, but it has, and who have overcome it and, um, they, they wouldn’t. It’s quite common to say they wouldn’t change. Um, those difficult, you know, those things that shape those experiences, that shape them. And what’s really coming through, lisa, listening, listening to you talk, is how driven you were to, even in the latter stages of your time in care. You’re being driven to try and to stand up and say this is not good enough for me, nor my peers who are in this space.

Lisa: 26:34

Yeah, yeah, and again I feel very blessed that you know I have that within me.

Lisa: 26:41

You know you’re very focused on attachment and I absolutely believe that the first attachment relationship that I had with my grandmother was profound in terms of of my development, and you know she was present, you know she could give me things, emotionally and through that attachment relationship that I couldn’t get from my mother. You know that wasn’t and still isn’t possible, and so I have so much gratitude for that because I think if I hadn’t had her, I’d have been in care from very young, you know, and that would have brought a whole other set of challenges and difficulties and it would be as much as there are no regrets in the sense of what the experience gave me. There’s still sadness and there’s still loss and there’s still grief, and I think it’s really important to hold both of those things. And I wonder, anyway, I’ve met enough humans, many, many humans, to know that sadness, loss and grief is part of the human experience and that, whatever experiences you’ve had, invariably most people are grappling and dealing with their, their own?

Colby: 28:30

families and their own beginnings in life. Yeah, yeah. So, um, at some point you you kind of started out your your advocacy in care about the conditions within the care arrangement that you were in, and then moved to the homelessness of care leavers, post-care, and at some point in time you turned your attention to schools and, uh, the experience of of, of young people who had experienced relational trauma, and, uh, and their experience of schools. Do you mind telling us a bit about that?

Lisa: 29:17

yeah. So once I’d got my degree, I moved into um, I worked in leaving care teams, uh, for nearly 10 years and then, and then I moved into and then lots of things changed. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it anymore. It became very admin-y, um, it lost some of the fusion with youth work that Leaving Care Work had back then, which I loved and which was very relational and consistent and it was lovely work. So I wandered across the road and went into the education department and that was a very different experience. All of a sudden, you know, know, I was not in my jeans anymore. I was, you know, covering my tattoos. It was all very, very um, I don’t know how to describe it, but it was a cut. It was a bit of a culture shock. Everyone was very proper and social work had it.

Lisa: 30:25

It’s just not, it’s not quite as proper yeah it’s got a bit of activism and it’s got some rebellion in it. It’s got, you know, social work often brings people in with all sorts of different lived experiences. Education back then was incredibly straight, um, and so I had a bit of a steep learning curve, but I met some amazing people who kind of taught me how to be in the education space, and I spent time working in schools. I spent time working with people who children and young people who were not attending school, and we would be setting up like different tutoring arrangements and alternative plans so they could stay on roll at school. It was very much about reducing exclusion, preventing exclusion. So, yes, I did that for 10 years, um.

Lisa: 31:45

So yeah, so I did that for 10 years, um, and I kind of got to a point because I also had two young bringing the body into the way that I had been thinking about the work that I was doing, and that was around 2005 2005, so 20 years ago and then I did a small piece of work with a local authority which was very much about creating services across different sectors and getting people around the table, and that was an amazing piece of work because it really taught me how long it takes to build relationships, not just the relationships that you’re having, but when you’re trying to engage other sectors, to sit around a table and talk to each other and become friends. That takes a long time, um, so that was a real gift to watch that process, um, and then it was after that, because we had we had, um a change of government and the financial crash and, uh, I also had something personal happen in my life that just threw everything open, and that’s when I became self-employed 15 years ago.

Colby: 33:08

Yeah, and you’ve been very active in that 15 years, as you likely were prior to that. Amongst other things you’ve done is you’ve written three books, which I mentioned earlier in the intro.

Lisa: 33:41

I wonder if you just would like to talk a little bit about each of those books and what particular messages they might have for children’s services and for schools. Yeah, so well. The first book was the Brightness of Stars, and I wrote that back in 2012, 2013. And I wrote it because I’d hit a bit of a roadblock. I wasn’t particularly open about my experience, I hadn’t really talked about it, but I was very aware, like lots of people who get to their kind of late 30s, early 40s, that midlife period, that it had massively influenced me and that whatever I hadn’t dealt with in the recovery journey I’d had so far, I was going to have to deal with. And that led me to think. But there must be lots of other people with this experience. Where are they? I mean, think about this there there’s no Facebook groups, there’s no social media where everyone’s connecting.

Lisa: 34:30

I think we were sort of very much at the beginning of that um, and so I had a few connections and I wanted to share stories. You know, as I where I started at the beginning of this podcast talking about sharing stories and journalism and I wanted to share stories and I’ve been fortunate enough that Routledge republished that book, because I’d self-published originally and they published it and what was beautiful about it was when I read what I’d written. It wasn’t relevant anymore. I’d written it wasn’t relevant anymore. I didn’t have those feelings about it anymore and it made me think. Everybody that was in it needs to write. What do they think about it?

Lisa: 35:11

Now, 10 years later, let’s have an exploration of the healing journey and how, at different points in your life, something really troubles you and is really defining and is really intense.

Lisa: 35:23

And 10 years later, when you’ve processed it and used writing to make sense of it and perhaps had some therapy and perhaps done some body work and all of those things, um, that help us process stuff. So there’s a there is a new section in there as well that’s more contemporary, but there’s that beautiful section at the beginning that’s got the reflections of what people had written to use earlier. So that’s wonderful. So I guess the messages in that book are about what does the experience look like and what does a healing journey look like? You know, it’s really good for people to know that over time we change and we grow and we transform and I think that that’s that’s a real gift of of the third edition. Conversations that make a difference is very much a book that infuses, as everything that I do I try and infuse, with academic knowledge, professional practice and lived experience, and that book infuses that conversations that make a difference for children and young people and the opening chapters with unis are wonderful which is wonderful, um.

Lisa: 36:39

So there’s there’s a whole range of conversations in there. It’s a lovely way of sharing conversations in a book like that, because it’s quite easy to read, and I’ve tried to make most of my books easy to read. Practitioners are busy. We haven’t got time to get through Dostoevsky, you know, like you’ve got to be able to just dip in and read something that really makes a difference and that makes you think about something in a different way. So there’s lots of reflections and then weaving a web of belonging, which has just come out this year, is very much underpinned by the research, uh, the PhD that I did, the research, um, which again was a really interesting experience.

Lisa: 37:28

There’s lots of voices in there, but writing academically is so hard and so dry, um, and it felt equally hard to strip the dryness back and create a practice book. So it’s very much underpinned by extensive research, but again, I’ve tried to make it very readable. I’ve even got some recipes in there, some grounding exercises, you know, anything that makes reading about some really difficult stuff just just a bit more manageable, because the people who are doing the work you know the direct work, um are giving something of themselves every time they do that, and what I’m focused on in my next book is how do we make sure that those people, that the people doing that work, are looked after in a really deeply and profound way so that they can do that work.

Colby: 38:39

That sounds wonderful. I look forward to reading that book as well. Lisa, I think you’ve. I mean, writing a book is a very generous thing to do, I think, and particularly when you have such extensive lived experience and knowledge and drive. And I’m really just really pleased to hear that your books do well. And see all the posts on social media of people who’ve got the latest book on belonging yeah, that’s just wonderful. If you could sit down with, you know, the heads of education or the heads of child protection, child safeguarding statutory authorities, what do you think you’d say to them?

Lisa: 39:38

So I guess I mean I’d say a lot, but I think there’s two things that I think are really important and really misunderstood. So the first thing I’d say is we need to sort out the language. The language that is used to describe children and young people is hugely problematic. It’s hugely problematizing of those children and young people and it shapes and forms the way that they are viewed and the way that they are seen. So language is the first thing. Let’s get on with a piece of work sorting that out. Let’s get on with a piece of work sorting that out.

Lisa: 40:22

And I guess the second thing that is also hugely misunderstood is that behaviour is communication. That seems to me to be such a difficult concept for people to understand. It’s almost as if people think children have an articulation of their trauma that it can take you decades to get of their trauma, that it can take you decades to get that they can somehow come and say to you I’ve got to have a chat with you later because I’m really struggling with something and I’d like to walk it through. You know, and of course that is not possible, but that’s the expectation. So when a child shows you which is what children will always do that they are struggling with something.

Lisa: 41:04

I would say that’s something that I would really like to be understood more. First, ways of understanding that is, for people to drop into their own central nervous system, their own relationship with shame and their own relationship with struggle. And if they can do that and that’s some of what I try and do with people if they can do that I try and do with people if they can do that, then that expands that space of compassion, because then there’s some compassion for self. It’s very, very difficult to think about behavior as communication if you don’t have the time and space to think about how you communicate your own distress when you’re distressed. So I think that would be what I would be looking at. Let’s give people some space for reflection. Let’s give people some space for some really good training opportunities. Let’s give people some space to drop into their own bodies, um, so that that exploration can happen.

Colby: 42:19

Yeah, I think listeners of this podcast will be very, very familiar with me saying that um, one of my um and another issue that’s very close to me, um is the fact that too many practitioners in education and also in child safeguarding are so flat out with the work that they don’t have time to stop and think about what they’re doing. And it manifests to me in a couple of things. I’ll often ask people, you know, if we, they’ll say they’ll give me the shopping list of problems with a young person and then, and I’ll say to them a couple of things, one of them would be if my intervention was successful, what would you expect to see? What would be different? And people find that very hard, very, very hard to answer because, as you say, they’re so stuck in a problem focus and talking about the problems of the children. I also say to people and I think this ties very much in with what you’re saying about just take some time to think about what it would be like we, if you were struggling, if you were having some of these experiences. I asked, I asked three questions if the child could or would, how would they truthfully describe themselves, other people and their world? How fast does their motor run and what did they learn in their first learning environments about how you get your needs met? Again, really difficult questions to answer, I’ve found, but I do think you’re right. I think, if I think, I think and again, people need time I think, if you can, if people have the time to drop in and reflect on their own experiences of struggle, or you know what it would have, what, what they can imagine it would be like to experience significant struggle. I remember the first. It was not the first time I thought about it, lisa, but it’s one of the first times that it really stood out, so much that I remember Very early in my career, mid-90s, in my first posting as a clinical psychologist doing assessments of young people, I had a young person that I was expecting to see first thing in the morning at the office, and when I arrived I used to live on one side of my home city of Adelaide and work at the far extremity of the other side and, depending on traffic in between, that journey could be elongated or otherwise.

Colby: 45:18

But anyway, I walked in and I walked into one of the at uh, the professional areas of the building and, and, and there was the young person I knew it would be her because she had a distinctive um background. So I immediately knew, ah, this must be the, the young person that’s come to see me. And I was very aware of her surroundings at that time and what she made of them and the fact that the taxi driver a taxi driver had collected her from her placement and dropped her at the office and she was about nine years old from memory. So, yeah, just really. From then on it was very much foremost in my mind the experience of our young people. It’s very hard. If you don’t give people the time to stop and reflect, then they just become very procedural and the work loses a bit of its heart and it becomes heartless and procedural. I think.

Lisa: 46:29

We have to stop thinking about people as machines fulfilling a role. You know this is relational work. Relational work is deep, it’s meaningful, it’s connecting um and so people. And this is what happens when you starve systems and you reduce capacity and you take away funding and you make the work really, really intense. Unfortunately, it makes real relational work much harder. Now I say that knowing that some areas that I work in prioritise it above all else. But it does mean that something else has to give. So there’s an intentionality when you’re thinking about belonging relationships, connection, proper staff well-being not, you know, let’s go bowling every fortnight or something, but the proper stuff that really nourishes and fills people’s cups. And you know you’re absolutely right when, when we don’t have that, then that’s where the procedural stuff comes in and burnout and secondary trauma and you know all of that stuff kicks in one other thing I just want to say I the the language we use.

Colby: 47:52

My first edition of the attachment book I. I say I wrote I didn’t write two editions. I wrote two of the attachment book. I say I wrote I didn’t write two editions. I wrote two books, the first book and the second book. They’re different books and the language is quite different. And a little example when I do, every now and then I’ve spoken to our heads of our child protection department here in my local jurisdiction department, here in my in my local jurisdiction. But I, on the language thing, I’ll say um, because one of one another thing that’s really near and dear to my heart is is the main, where possible, the maintenance and I think it’s more possible than we we think but the maintenance of good connection with birth family. So I I will say you could probably achieve a lot in terms of practice by changing one word in the sentence that is routinely said about our children and young people.

Lisa: 48:50

What’s routinely said and written is that they cannot be safely cared for at home and I say replace cannot with couldn’t or could not, and I I dare say you would, yeah, you would um notice a big, I mean language is powerful it’s so powerful and maybe could not right now, you know like allow parents the opportunity that we all afford ourselves of transformation and recovery and wellness and sobriety and all those other things you know, in a dynamic, trauma-sensitive way in the writing. You know that, but right now that wasn’t possible. That doesn’t mean it’s not possible later on. It’s just not possible now and it’s those kind of things, isn’t it’s having that, that, that eye for the life course? But services, unfortunately, are so divided and siloed into what you know how they work that the life course approach and that holistic approach is often lost. And look at us, we could talk for hours I think so we could.

Colby: 50:07

I was literally I I say to the kids, when the you know you’re supposed to say, colby, get out of my head, it’s rude, you gotta ask permission. Permission before you’re reading my mind. But you were just literally reading my mind then, lisa, because I was going to say, yes, we could talk for hours. Maybe we’ll just have to do this conversation in installments perhaps, but if you’re keen, I do give all of my guests an opportunity to ask me a question without notice at the end. We’ve heard a lot of my voice already. I’m not sure if you had something that you wanted to ask me.

Lisa: 50:46

Well, I don’t have anything to ask you today because I’ve already interviewed you on my podcast. So I asked you lots of questions. So if anybody wants to hear those questions, then I’m sure Colby will drop that episode into the show notes and you can listen to me ask you lots of questions.

Colby: 51:06

Yeah, I think I’ll do that. Well, I mean, is that a bit I’ll do it because you’ve raised it? It’s an invitation.

Lisa: 51:14

It’s an invitation and it would be lovely to share that conversation and it’s it’s been really lovely to be on the other side of that and, um, and be asked lots of questions, so thank you for having me yeah, well, thank you for agreeing and uh, yeah, I hope you have a good day and you continue to be well, lisa as well as you can be.

Transforming Lives: Dr. Kiran Modi’s Journey with Vulnerable Children in India

Every child deserves a sunrise and a new beginning

Dr. Kiran Modi’s remarkable journey from academia to founding one of India’s most influential child welfare organizations offers profound insights into transformative care models for vulnerable children. With a PhD in American literature, Kiran’s unexpected pivot into child welfare began with a deeply personal childhood experience of being separated from her parents – a brief but formative moment that instilled in her a visceral understanding of the trauma children face when separated from family care.

Founded in 1994, Udayan Care has evolved from a single children’s home to a comprehensive organization operating across 36 cities in 15 Indian states, with international chapters in the USA and Germany. What distinguishes Kiran’s approach is her holistic vision of child welfare that extends far beyond institutional care. The organization’s name itself – “Udayan” meaning “eternal sunrise” or “new beginning” in Sanskrit – embodies its mission to bring light and hope to vulnerable children’s lives.

The cornerstone of Udayan Care’s innovation is the LIFE (Living in Family Environment) model for group homes. Unlike traditional orphanages with rotating staff and institutional environments, these “Sunshine Homes” create genuine family-like settings with remarkable stability through a unique feature: voluntary mentor parents. These committed individuals, currently numbering 29, pledge lifelong relationships with the children – providing consistent emotional support even while not living in the homes full-time. This addresses the critical issue of attachment disruption that so many institutionalized children face, directly implementing John Bowlby’s attachment theory in practical care settings.

Kiran’s research-informed practice led to India’s first comprehensive care leavers study, examining the challenges faced by young people aging out of institutional care. The study identified critical gaps across eight domains: identity and legal awareness, housing, independent living skills, social support, emotional wellbeing, physical health, education and vocational skills, and financial independence. These findings directly informed policy changes, including improved aftercare planning, increased financial support, and the creation of India’s first care leavers networks – demonstrating how research can drive tangible system improvements.

Perhaps most impressive is Kiran’s integration of therapeutic approaches with practical support. Trauma-informed care underpins all services, with Kiran poignantly observing that trauma “lodges in your heart” – we don’t overcome it completely, but rather develop coping mechanisms and resilience. Through this lens, Udayan Care’s model combines Bowlby’s attachment theory, Erikson’s psychosocial development framework, and Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems approach to address children’s needs holistically.

Kiran’s work extends beyond direct service to include advocacy, research and policy influence. She established BICON (Biennial International Conference on Alternative Care for Children in Asia) and launched an international academic journal focused on institutionalized children. This multilayered approach – connecting grassroots practice with research, policy and global networking – creates systemic change rather than just service delivery.

For organizations seeking to implement similar models, Kiran emphasizes several key principles: prioritizing mental health and trauma-informed approaches; developing secure attachments through stable relationships; addressing developmental needs through frameworks like Erikson’s stages; embedding children within communities rather than isolating them; building resilience and coping skills; and fostering spiritual well-being and purpose.

As we consider global challenges in child welfare, Kiran’s integrated model offers valuable lessons. By combining family-like environments, professional therapeutic support, community integration, and pathways to independence, Udayan Care demonstrates how we might better serve our most vulnerable children while advocating for systems that prevent family separation in the first place.

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You can watch here:

About Kiran:

Kiran has a PhD in American Literature from the Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi. Kiran founded Udayan Care, a non-profit organization, in 1994.

Since then Udayan Care has delivered programs at national and international level, with a focus on family strengthening and care reform.

Under Kiran’s leadership, Udayan Care now operates in 36 cities across 15 states in India and has international chapters in the USA and Germany.

Kiran developed the LIFE (Living In Family Environment) model for group homes, initiated aftercare programs, and launched the Udayan Shalini Fellowship, which has supported over 16,000 girls in higher education. Kiran also established 24 IT and Vocational Training Centers, training over 30,000 youth.

Kiran has pioneered several initiatives including BICON, Biennial International Conference on Alternative Care for Children in Asia, (BICONs), Asia’s largest platform for care reform; an international journal, ICB, Institutionalised Children Explorations and Beyond, and related initiatives.

Kiran led India’s first care leavers study, resulting in new programs and the formation of the country’s first care leavers’ network, as well as a global network of care leavers.

Kiran is a recipient of many prestigious awards, including the National Award for Child Welfare – India’s highest commendation for a non-profit child welfare organisation, and has contributed to several research papers in national and international journals.

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Transcript:

Kiran: 0:20

Then you can do individual care for each and every child. So this is the kind of stability we are able to bring in. Children know that the others may come and go, but my mentors would remain and we’ve been able to facilitate care leavers networks as a global care practice. Aftercare does not stop. Even when they become an ARG, they leave after care, they become Udian Care alumni.

Colby: 0:51

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce, and joining me today for this episode is a highly respected figure in child and family welfare in India and beyond. Before I introduce my guests, I’d just like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land that I’m meeting on, the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains, and acknowledge the continuing connection the living Kaurna people feel to land, waters, culture and community. I’d also like to pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. My guest today is Dr Kiran Modi. Kiran has a PhD in American literature from the Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi.

Colby: 1:40

In 1994, Kiran founded Udayan Care, a non-profit organisation. Since then, Udayan Care has delivered programs at national and international level, with a focus on family strengthening and care reform. Under Kiran’s leadership, Udayan Care now operates in 36 cities across 15 states in India and has international chapters in the United States of America and Germany. Kiran developed the Life Living in Family Environment model for group homes, initiated aftercare programs and launched the Udayan Shalini Fellowship, which has supported over 16,000 girls in higher education. Kiran also established 24 IT and vocational training centres, training over 30,000 youth.

Colby: 2:39

Kiran has pioneered several initiatives, including BICON, the Biennial International Conference on Alternative Care for Children in Asia, BICON, Asia’s largest platform for care reform, and an international journal Institutionalized Children’s Explorations and Beyond. Kiran led India’s first care leavers study, resulting in new programs and the formation of the country’s first care leavers network, as well as a global network of care leavers. Kiran is a recipient of many prestigious awards, including the National Award for Children for Child Welfare India’s highest commendation for a non-profit child welfare organisation and has contributed to several research papers in national and international journals. Welcome Kiran.

Kiran: 3:38

It’s such an opportunity. Thank you, piers, for giving me this opportunity. I don’t know whether I should call you Colby or.

Colby: 3:45

Yeah, colby’s good, colby’s fine. And I just like we just also should acknowledge Lena, who is also joining us on this podcast, and she will be helping you with some slides that you wish to show during the podcast. And Lena is your Director of Advocacy, research and Training there at Udayan Care. Thank, you.

Colby: 4:09

Thank you. Yeah, so I feel very privileged to have you on, kieran, and it’s also nice to have someone on who’s in a relatively similar time zone for me. So it’s mid-afternoon for me and mid-morning I think for you, mid to late morning. Yes, yes, and I just tell you that somewhat embarrassingly when we were first communicating and you were putting IMT, I was reading that as international median time. I thought I thought it meant Greenwich Meridian time, not Indian. So that was my bad. We say that was my bad here. So, anyway, glad that we got it sorted out after a while. So, kieran, can I first ask you to perhaps just tell us about Udayan care and in particular, perhaps mention what the word Udayan means and how does the definition of Udayan relate to the work?

Kiran: 5:14

It’s a lovely question, very near to my heart. Udayan is a Sanskrit word. It means eternal sunrise or a new beginning At Udayan Kaya. This is the essence that guides everything that we do. We strive to bring light into the lives of children, youth and women who have experienced deep vulnerabilities.

Kiran: 5:37

We were founded in 1994 and we had three major verticals and I would just like to tell you family strengthening. Actually it anchors all our programs in all these verticals we are looking at how do you strengthen the families so that children do not remain vulnerable, they don’t get separated from the families. So, first silo, as you can see, child protection and alternative care, under which we have many programs. But you mentioned also the group home model, which is called GAR. Gar means you know children’s homes. Then there is aftercare. There are several programs for care leavers. In the second vertical, which is education, skilling and employability, you’ve already introduced this to the audience, but I would just like to reiterate Shalini Fellowship Program and the Information Technology and Vocational Training Program. They are looking at vulnerable girls from the communities, youth and empowering them as per their capability higher education, vocational training and finally getting into employment. The third silo, which is very, very near to my heart because I’m also realizing again and again just service delivery will not make systemic change. How do you bring about that systemic change? That’s why we started this vertical, and I’m so glad that Lina is here with me. She’s heading this department.

Kiran: 7:08

Art means advocacy, research and training, so we’ve been doing a lot of consultations and seminars. You’ve already mentioned biennial conferences and I’m so happy to say that in October of this year 2025, we will be having an international conference. This will be the sixth one. In Malaysia.

Kiran: 7:30

We take out an academic journal you have already mentioned, and I always like to say that it’s a niche journal, you know, because it’s not about social work, it’s not about child rights, it’s actually about children who are without parental care. It’s actually about children who are without parental care. How do you strengthen the communities so that every child gets a family-like environment to grow up in? Then we’ve been conducting a lot of research studies. Almost 100 research papers have been published in different journals, including our own, and trainings, which is again very, very important, because we are working with several governments in India where we are training the child protection functionaries into delivering their work even better and learning from them as well. So it’s not only we are training, we are also learning, and I would just like to say that you know our children without parental care. When they get all these opportunities, you know the underserved children and youth they can really go places that’s lovely.

Colby: 8:34

Yeah, it’s such a an awesome endeavor, or endeavors, array of endeavors, that you’re doing for vulnerable children and young people, and I’m very pleased to be able to hear about it today. And you said something in there that is interesting to me, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that, just when you said just providing a good service or service provision alone doesn’t necessarily bring about systemic change. We do need to be doing research and advocacy around the work that we do, and I was introduced to an interesting term by a recent guest, which was pracademic, by which she meant, yeah, being both a practitioner and a researcher, and connecting.

Colby: 9:37

And her name is Lisa Etherson. She talked about shame containment theory, but it was new to me and I think I think she was making the point that not only is it necessary, as you say to, to do something more than just provide, do service provision. We are the best people to do research in this sector, the service providers, yes.

Kiran: 10:04

The practitioner’s experience has to inform policy and research.

Colby: 10:10

Yes, yeah. So what led you into this? I noticed you have a PhD in American literature, but you’ve kind of gone down the child and family welfare path. What led you into this work, kieran?

Kiran: 10:27

So actually, you know that life experiences as a child. I was only 80 years old and I just can’t forget. I was on a very, very busy road full of people with my parents and suddenly I found myself lost and I cried my heart out and finally the police took me to the police station where my parents came after some time looking for me everywhere. They were looking so worried and I was so relieved to find them. This thought remained with me just a few seconds of parental separation, you know. It formed my childhood, it informed my childhood, it continued with me in my youth, you know. So I think it was a very powerful experience which really, you know, made me understand what do children without parental care go through? And then, a quirk of a fate, I had personal tragedy and from the world of literature, suddenly I was thrown into the world of reality and I realized I need to do something, and especially when I found that my son was doing so much with his meager income in America, I really need to take that work forward and I started thinking of setting up an organization which can serve the underserved here.

Kiran: 11:55

In the initial one year it really took me. I went around to all kinds of causes, at least 150 organizations I visited. In one of my visits to an orphanage there was a child who just took, took hold of me and said please take me home. That remained with me. That remained with me and my childhood trauma of that parental separation came back to me and I said here is something. And that’s where in India, the model of children’s homes were always. You know, even the juvenile justice act was talking about 100 children’s homes, so largely children were very big homes and they were little away from society. Based on all that and my personal belief in that the family model has to be there, we set up our life. Udayan Khars means living in family environment. That was my first venture into the development sector.

Colby: 12:59

Yeah, lovely and, I think, such a stark portrayal of an experience for you of what it feels like to be separated from family, and that extends even to children and young people whose families are struggling with their care, yeah, and or are very dysfunctional. The children still feel keenly that separation, yeah. So you visited more than 100 organisations I think you said more than 150 organisations in that year before you went down this particular path and you started out in 1994. And how easy or difficult was it to establish Udayan Care and the work that it did?

Kiran: 14:02

I would say it wasn’t really difficult in the beginning. You know, all you need is some kindred soul who speak to you, who understand where you come from, and just find those kind of people who will support you. So once you’ve been built that kind of a support system and the legal legalities of setting up an organization is done and also your cause is very clear, then you know it’s not such a big challenge. But of course, limited infrastructure, low awareness in India about child rights and especially low awareness about small homes where children could live like a family. So there was a lot of skepticism and the government was running such large homes. To get a license for a 12 children home was also quite difficult, you know. So I really had to fight it out. But you know, as they say, one right person really brings about a change. There was this officer in one of the women and child development department. She understood where I was coming from. I said how would you understand a child’s trauma or the need if there are hundreds of them are together? If there are smaller numbers, then you can do individual care for each and every child and the adequate resources could be provided. So she understood my point and they allowed me the first license. Then, of course, more licenses came and we set up 17 homes at one point of time.

Kiran: 15:37

Resource mobilization, as you know, it’s always a constant challenge for any organization, but I think we were really blessed we have been able to find actually, you know, I always say the man upstairs, god, he’s there to help us, so I don’t have to worry about resource mobilization, he takes care. The biggest challenge was how do you find the workforce who is qualified, who is trauma-informed and who are interested in learning and sticking on with you? Children they have suffered unstable families uh, you know broken relationships and then they come here in a children’s home. They want, you know, that kind of a stability.

Kiran: 16:20

But the reality of the world, at least in India, is that it’s very difficult to retain people because you know it’s becoming like how any profession you know earlier it used to be different. It wasn’t really social work was really looked at only as a profession, mostly people with large hearts. They were coming here so. But the things have started changing. So it becomes very difficult to get qualified and trauma-informed workforce. Also to develop partnerships both at the local and international level with policy makers to your next-door neighbor. How do you develop these kind of partnerships with different NGOs, with different funding agencies? So these collaborations were again difficult, but it wasn’t very difficult we were able to do. I think the key is you have to persist, there has to be a transparency in your work and, of course, an unwavering belief in your mission which can take you forward.

Colby: 17:21

Yeah, yeah, lovely. Something that you said in there that resonated with me quite a lot was um, uh, I, I strongly believe that when we just focus on doing a good job, that the, you know that, the, the other things that are necessary, the people, the, the, the financial arrangements, they tend to fall into place and and at least that’s what I found, and it sounds like that’s what you found as well Absolutely.

Kiran: 17:51

And also another challenge which I would like to put it across is the ecosystem which is changing. You know the legal legalities, the legal provisions, whether it is for foreign donation, whether it is for you know, different kinds of paperwork it’s becoming. You know so much of paperwork in India also, which I realized when I visited some organizations abroad that the social workers end up doing a lot of paperwork and we never used to have so much, but now it is increasingly, you know, becoming more and more so it becomes like a tick box for many things, so, which is a little bit painful, but we are trying to deal with it.

Colby: 18:31

Yeah, yeah, I don’t think you’re on your own there.

Colby: 18:35

I think that there, as you say, you saw that in many of the organisations that you visited and even here in Australia, in the jurisdictions I’m familiar with, I think the paperwork has long been a bone of contention amongst workers who really just want to help children and and families.

Colby: 18:58

Yeah, yeah, you know, kieran, one of the things that really intrigued me about your organization and and your bio when I read it was the care leaver study that you did. Care leavers are very near and dear to my heart. I have primarily worked long term as a psychotherapist in the child protection space and out of home care space and I’ve kept in touch with or at least they’ve kept in touch with me a great many of the care leavers that I knew when they were younger people and in care, and I’ve always been really concerned, I guess, about the lack of support for a great many of our care leavers and the struggles that they have post-care. So I’m really interested to hear a bit more about your care leaver study and how that was then translated into better support for care leavers.

Kiran: 20:10

Yes, since you know, as we’ve been talking about, both of us agree that you know practice should inform your research. And you know, as we’ve been talking about, both of us agree that you know practice should inform your research and you know your advocacy. So, after running these homes for so many years and their children were growing up, 18, and then they were given aftercare, so they were supported fully, and we realized that many organizations are not able to do that kind of work, even though the government mandate was there to support youth, you know, as they are growing up at 18. You can’t expect them to be on their own at the age of 18. But it wasn’t happening in a very big manner. So we decided to conduct a study and we were lucky enough to get partnerships from UNICEF and Tata Trust. I did to conduct a study and we were lucky enough to get partnerships from UNICEF and Tata Trust. So this study was conducted in five states of India where we took up 500 youth and first of all, it was so difficult to trace children who have gone out of those institutions, if they are not being supported, so it was very, very difficult to find them. But when we developed our questionnaire was, again, you know, a very big process of you know to and fro, getting participation from the care leavers also. Finally, we finalized our tools and then we started doing studies and some of the the gaps which came out.

Kiran: 21:30

I would like to just tell you and the the youth that they were telling us. We realized where are the gaps? Gaps are in identity and legal awareness. So they don’t understand who am I as a caregiver? Am I a caregiver or am I a human being? You know, who should we support? What is my legal awareness level? Most of the caregivers did not even know that they are entitled to aftercare support Housing. Most of them did not know after 18 where to go because in India we don’t have any special system other than some aftercare hostels set up by government or NGOs like us. So there was a big problem about housing. If they would like to take an apartment, it wasn’t easy for them to get the paperwork done.

Kiran: 22:18

Independent living skills what we realized? Children who were growing up here in institutions or in foster care. Everything was done for them, so they were not learning the independent living skills. So we felt that this is a big gap. Then another gap that came out was social support and interpersonal skills. When you are in a children’s home, largely you are meeting children of your own kind. When you go to school, it’s only for a short while. Then again you come back to the routine of the home. You don’t get an opportunity to go out and meet society at large. So they become, you know, their interpersonal skills they do. They are not able to develop.

Kiran: 22:57

We also realize children who suffered so much trauma and abuse when they were separated from the family. Sometimes family itself was the perpetrator and so many times after, you know, leaving the family, they land up on streets there again more. Uh, you know trauma is perpetrated on them. How do they have emotional well-being? Are the, the care homes able to address their emotional well-being? Give them support, trauma-informed care so that they are able to. When nobody can really overcome trauma, this is what I believe.

Kiran: 23:33

At best a scab is formed and at the littlest of the provocation the scab is gone and the blood starts oozing. But still, to even to form that scab and even to inform the children how you can deal with your issues, the coping mechanisms, the resilience, how much is being done? We found there was a big gap. Physical health wasn’t so bad 78 percent children, but they did not have any insurance. So without insurance it’s so difficult to go for any kind of a proper care, education and vocational skills was taking a real, you know, back step. Because the children, they, their education gets disrupted when they leave the family and sometimes, from institution to institution, from one foster family to another, the education system is such that, you know, dropout rates increase and it becomes very difficult for them to cope up and if you don’t have the required education or vocational training, it’s absolutely impossible to gain financial independence and to develop a career. So these are some of the things that we develop and we call it a sphere of aftercare. So we feel every young person coming out of a childcare home or from a foster care, they should be getting support on these eight domains because these are, as you can see, these are interconnected. Nothing is standing on its own. You give housing, you don’t give others. It doesn’t make sense. So it all has to come in a package so that the youth, they are able to sustain themselves and go to the next level in their lives.

Kiran: 25:11

So you also asked me how did it support the larger system? So these recommendations which came out where we? Three things I would just like to point out, although there are many things, but we also have lack of time. So, uh, we were talking in india. For every child in an institution there has to be an icp individual care plan, but at it has no connection with your care plan, which was made for you. It has no future because there is no aftercare plan made. So we very strongly recommended that there should be an aftercare plan for every youth who is coming out after 18. So it happened in 2023, mission Vatsalya, which is a come and run scheme. There they are introducing IAP, which was a very big, you know, satisfaction for us.

Kiran: 26:03

In our recommendation we said there has to be an increased investment on aftercare. They were giving only 2000 rupees per youth and 2000 rupees is so measly, so measly and nobody can survive on that. So we requested you make it more so, from 19 pounds now to 38 pounds per month, which is still quite measly, but still because there are homes which are being provided so they are able to maintain. We also said there has to be a lot of linkages and convergence between educational institutions, between skilling ministries, between all these ministries must come together and more such with this convergence. Different government departments should be addressing the issues of the aftercare, youth and again, the mission Matsilya talks about it.

Kiran: 27:02

We also said how do you strengthen the voices of care leavers? Before that there was no care leavers sorry network. So we, I mean, I always take very, I feel very happy that we were the instrument by which many care leavers came together and they set up platforms for peer networking and mentoring and supporting each other. We also talked about that. There should be proper aftercare guidelines. You know, of course, in the law it is mentioned, but without a proper guideline, how do you know anybody function? So I’m so glad that now state level guidelines are there in many states as many as 13 states and others are also developing their own guidelines. So actually care, after care and care leavers is becoming a word which people have started understanding and recognizing and recognizing we also did at our level many models we developed to support caregivers. So this evidence that we created helped us in incubating programs because, again, as I’ve been saying, practice informs research and research should inform practice, because if you don’t bring back those learnings, there is no point. So we started our aftercare outreach program in 2020.

Kiran: 28:18

And here in six states of India, we are taking care leavers and supporting them for their next level on those eight domains that I showed you. In the sphere of aftercare, then we have started the care leavers networks, which I’ve already told you. After care, then we have started the care leavers networks which I’ve already told you. And now the care leavers are themselves, you know, putting it forward. In many states, care leavers themselves have set up such you know networks. Many states, ngos are also coming forward. Even UNICEF has been a very big driver to bring care leavers networks and we started a fellowship which is a very, very beautiful fellowship. It is called lift learning in fellowship. Together. Here, the youth they have to submit a proposal by which they are going to going to support other care experienced youth. So every project is different. Somebody is taking up developing life skill programs. Somebody is developing a research program. Somebody is developing podcasts of care leavers so that their voices can be heard. So beautiful you know projects they come up with state governments, especially on FBAC, family-based alternative care programming, which includes aftercare. So these are some of the states Bihar, madhya Pradesh, telangana and Jharkhand.

Kiran: 29:42

We have been generating a lot of evidence through publications, researching and publishing it. As I told you earlier about our 2018-19 study beyond know, the one which I talked about, but there after that, there have been a lot of researches which we have been publishing in different journals. So, in a way, care leavers you know, we started very, very locally, but we were very lucky that we had other partners joining in, international partners, and we have been able to facilitate care leavers networks as a global care practice. So some of australian care leavers are also part of it. We also realized that you know families need to be supported. If the families are supported, if the children are integrated with the families, why would they leave the families? So we started, you know, programs which is called fit families. It is working in three different localities of Delhi and where we are working with families so that the children who have been sent back from institutions can get properly integrated and how do you prevent further separation. So these are some of the programs which actually emanated from the research study.

Kiran: 30:58

We have already talked about this particular journal and this journal is doing very well and we also do a global monthly news wrap-up. So, if you see, 25 plus research studies have been conducted, 93 plus research papers and articles have been published and global monthly news wrap-up. I’m really proud that Sage Publishers. They are our partners. They are world-famous publishers. They are our partners for this journal In advocacy. I’ve already talked about you. You also mentioned BICONS, and first Care Leavers Convention was done. It was an international Care Leaversavers convention was done. It was an international care leavers convention. After that it was followed by the second one. So actually our practices can improve if there is advocacy, evidence generation and research all feeding into one. So this slide, you know, actually represents that.

Colby: 31:51

That Kieran, I’m just sitting here gobsmacked, we say, or in awe it is remarkable, truly remarkable, what you’ve achieved. I come from a sector where a jurisdiction sorry where sector organisations and sector supports are very fragmented. And seeing what you’re doing in Udayan care, you know, in terms of providing a therapeutic family environment for children and young people who are separated from their parents or can’t reside with their parents for whatever reason, through to support post-care, integrated with education we know everywhere that education is one of the absolute keys to rise out of poverty but also for our children and young people to have normal lives post-care. So it’s remarkable what Udayan Care and you have achieved.

Colby: 33:11

And another thing that you said very early on that, uh, I want to just mention um because I I agree with it very much where you said, um, we children don’t get over trauma. At best there’s a, there’s it scabs over and and, depending, and if and I think, if I heard you’re right, you were saying um, you know, depending on what happens after and particularly after care, the scab can be picked away or otherwise. And I use the term enduring sensitivities. I think we’re all impacted in some way, or at least shaped, by our childhood experiences and um, I hear a lot about trauma recovery, trauma repaired, you know, um as if, as if we can achieve an outcome where it is as if the trauma did not occur and the reality is that that’s a false yeah, it’s a false quest.

Colby: 34:16

We’ll never. We’ll never get there and and I think saying it is really important because it takes the pressure off everyone yeah, we, we don’t, we know what will help. The what will help will be, uh, connection to that was the other thing I didn’t mention. That I loved about your presentation restoring connection and strengthening connection to family. The most healing relationships, in my view, are those family relationships, absolutely, yeah, and so, yeah, I’m just blown away. It’s just remarkable to see what you are doing there from an integrated service provision point of view.

Kiran: 35:01

Thank you. Thank you, I would just like to, you know, add here yes, in the last three years, eight of my youth who came out of our children’s homes, they all studied in the UK and on complete scholarships they did their masters, you know, I mean. So it’s not that that trauma was erased, trauma remains. I always like to say, trauma lodges in your heart. You know it’s not easy to, and every given situation it does come out on the fore. But the issue is what kind of resilience skills, what kind of coping mechanisms you’ve been trained so that you can, at least at that time you are able to overcome that sorrow, that pain, that self-pity. So I think that’s very important and I think resilience training takes a lot of our, you know, focus.

Colby: 36:00

The other thing that I think is particularly close to my heart because I’ve also developed therapeutic models, but the life program, the living in a family environment model that you talked about. I’m just wondering if you might share a little bit more about its kind of key elements, and I’m particularly interested in any challenges you had in rolling it out or delivering it and how they were overcome.

Kiran: 36:33

So actually, you know, as I told you in the beginning also, that large homes were the reality. So when we started, you know residential group homes which are called sunshine homes, udayan, as I told you, sunshine. So these are sunshine homes, you know, so that they can dispel darkness from their lives. So we developed a strategy which is called LIFE Living in Family Environment. First of all I did is called life living in family environment. First of all, I did not like that system where every eight hours new people are coming in, the next batch of people are coming in. There is no continuity there. So we developed a system by which the carer team the carer team, it was like permanent Voluntary mentor parents, like I’m also a mother to. You know so many of them. So these are all volunteers who commit themselves for life. So that means as long as I am alive, as long as this home runs, my services are for the children, but since we have our own families, we are not able to stay with the children. But we are there for them. So we are meeting them twice or thrice a week and whenever they need us we are available on telephone. We actually become a window to the world for them. So these are voluntary mentor parents. Then, other than that, there are supervisors, in-house caregivers, psychologists, health specialists, social workers and volunteers, and at the office level there are managers who are managing the whole thing. So at this moment there are 11 Udayangars. There used to be 17,. We have reduced the numbers. I will talk about that later.

Kiran: 38:08

Let me first finish this particular part. What is our model? So the model is to develop a beautiful synergy between volunteers who want to give and volunteers who are committing for life it’s not that I can come in today and tomorrow I can go and the professional workforce. Then you know community ownership. We thought it was so important that the children should be in a community and they should be available to the neighborhood. So there is a community park where they are playing with others and they are mingling with others. They are going to the neighborhood shop to buy something. So it becomes like a normal childhood and community ownership was so important. Communities they start owning them For them. These become their children. They go to middle class neighborhood schools and there is a lot of social integration and this gives them a very good, realistic world view so that when they grow up suddenly they don’t have to face this monster called society, you know, because they are carrying some very bad image from their childhood. So we want them to get adjusted.

Kiran: 39:20

Then. Holistic upbringing here, through a participatory approach, they are provided quality education and all those eight domains which I showed you are for their all-round development. We are working on that. There is a safe and non-discriminatory environment. There is vocational training, education, life skills exposure, exposure to the market, secure and stable attachments. I will be talking about this attachment theory of John Bowlby. He was my biggest influence, you know, when I started these homes, the children who have disrupted attachments. And how do we make their insecurity and turn them into secure attachments? How do we train them into this? That’s why we brought in the voluntary mentor, parents and the social workers and everyone. All of us are very consciously working on developing stable attachments in them.

Kiran: 40:09

As I said earlier, individual care plans are made where each child we discuss with the child and the full team what should be the plans for going forward, and these are the therapist and then the mental health. You know, therapeutic interventions are tailored to each child’s need. So certain things we are able to address in a group system, group workshop, certain things they need individual attention and we are constantly researching on what we are doing. We have developed our own tool which is called qa ncc. Already 10 years, data we’ve been able to collect and three research papers have been published where children tell us what is going right for them and what is not going right for them. And just to maintain complete, you know, transparency. None of our staff conduct these. We are getting, you know, master students from social work. They come in every year and they conduct these tests so that, you know, children are able to voice whatever they want to say. So trauma-informed care approach is very, very strong and we do continuous training of our staff. The staff is, you know, quite fast rotating, so we try to retain the staff. We try to, you know, train the staff into trauma-informed care and our ultimate aim is that the environment of the home should be trusting. The child should be able to trust us, should be enabling and stimulating so that they are able to become productive citizens of tomorrow.

Kiran: 41:43

By giving aftercare support, aftercare support does not stop. Even when they leave aftercare they become Udhiyan Care alumni and we continue to handle. I’m very happy to say more than 2000 children have come out of our homes and we’ve got at least 100 children who are married without our support. Wherever they needed our support, we were there to give them away in marriage. And we have got more than 70 grandchildren in the family. And I must say about the mentor parents, we are 29 mentor parents who are looking after these children like our own and long term. You know Dolly Anand, I mean she really brings me so much joy. Now she’s 84. She joined me when she was 60. Even at the age of right age of 84, she goes to the children’s home, talks to them, makes them see the sense and discusses things with them. So this is the kind of stability we are able to bring in children, to know that others may come and go but my mentors would remain. So that’s a very big feeling of stability and security for the children. So this is our therapeutic model.

Colby: 42:59

It’s remarkable. I was just, I was kind of blown away at the voluntary mentor parents and what a remarkable thing to do to provide. Because you’re right, in any jurisdictions there is always mobility of professionals. But to have that stability of connection through those voluntary mentor parents and I guess they get a You’re one you were saying I guess you get so much joy out of that as well.

Kiran: 43:39

Oh, my God, You’ve said the same words with each and every mentor. Parent says you know, because there is no monetary outcome for them, it’s only sheer giving. So whenever you ask them, you do so much, what do you gain return? They said what can we give them? The amount they give us back, their love, their trust, you know just to? I mean Lina here. She has started working so much with the aftercare youth and all of them have started calling her mama, mama and they go and land up at her house. You know, because they know here is this mama will be available to me. So I think this kind of a feeling is so important for children to have that secure base where they can turn to.

Colby: 44:25

And I think it is. Yeah, absolutely Sorry, I was still thinking about the. You know, it just gives your life so much meaning to be giving to vulnerable young people who otherwise wouldn’t have these, wouldn’t necessarily have these stable and lasting connections that are so important for their growth and development. Absolutely, I could do a whole podcast with you just talking about the voluntary mentor parents, I think, and their relationships with the children. But sadly, we need to move on a little bit, and my last question to you, before I give you the opportunity to ask me a question, if you like, but my last question to you, is what advice would you give to an organisation that is trying to implement a model of care?

Kiran: 45:34

So these are some of our ideas that we’ve been using. You know, how do you integrate children in institutions, back into families and prevent the separation? So unless you keep that mental health perspective on the top of your priority, you will never be able to do the justice. It has to be a strength-based framework. So what we do is trauma-informed care and my advice to everyone is you have to bring in into your system of working and training the staff, letting the children know you have suffered trauma. There is no problem in that. We can still, you know, move on and tenets of Boolvi’s attachment theory. How do you develop secure adult interpersonal relationships? This is why, as I told you, mentor parents. I know it’s a very difficult system and it’s not easy to find this kind of a lifetime committed people. But I always say if we could get them, I’m sure out there hundreds and hundreds of them. You just need to be on the lookout. You need to provide opportunities. People would be coming, they would be willing to get trained and they are experienced parents themselves. So parenting experiences plus attachment tenets, they will be able to apply to the children. We also believe a lot on Erickson’s psychosocial theory of development, the eight stages. So we keep on training our staff onto these stages. Unless you understand where the crisis is and you are able to resolve it and go to the next stage, otherwise you will remain there. So it’s very important for all the organizations who are working with children at least in my mind to have this kind of a developmental approach, and we have placed our children right in the midst of the community. So when I found Yuri Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems approach theory, I was blown away because this is exactly what we were doing, without you know naming as microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, macrosystem or chronosystem. But we were doing everything, whether it is, you know, at the community level, whether it is at the school level, whether it is at the state level. We were trying to bring children and people, community, together. So I think these are very, very important, this community approach.

Kiran: 48:00

When we go to the community, what we found? Most of the community members. They feel so hopeless because they feel I’m not able to look after my child, so take away my child. How do you convince them that you have enough strength in you and you can look after your children? So I think you know even something as simple as genogram. You know you make them remember who are the people around you who could be. You know, your partners in bringing up your children. What are the assets available in your community, in your area, on which you can impinge upon? I think for any organization, it’s very, very important to keep these in mind. Then, as I’ve been saying again and again throughout that building resilience, improving coping skills, emotion and social well-being make them into a social person. Don’t let them be a loner in a children’s home or even in a community when they are not able to come out. You have to make such systems by which the child is able to cope and become a social being. We have to address behavior modification children who have suffered trauma.

Kiran: 49:07

They need, you know, behavior modification. So we need to develop a proper you know plan for each child. How do you ensure a productive future? And everything should be done in a case management approach and a higher purpose in life. So we haven’t mentioned in our eight domains the spiritual aspect, but I think it’s so important to have a higher purpose in life and that the moment you know anybody who has suffered, they start feeling a higher purpose in their lives. Their hope and faith goes up, and that’s what we are here for and that’s what all the organisation should be aiming for. This is my firm belief.

Colby: 49:50

Yeah, it reminds me a little bit of what I was saying about the house mentor parents as well. When our life has meaning, we thrive. And that was very much the message of Viktor Frankl, the author of Logotherapy and Survivor of Auschwitz and other concentration camps during the Second World War. So yeah, and again another theoretical orientation very close to my heart. That’s wonderful. It’s wonderful to hear that you can instil in our children and young people the children and young people that you serve in your country. I mean, they’re collectively ours. It is one human race, isn’t it?

Kiran: 50:46

I must make a caveat. It’s not possible to have 100% result and we must not get upset or start feeling guilty that I’ve not been able to serve this child. Because you are trying your level best and you are making an individual, specific plan. Still plans fail. So you have to take your successes and your failures in your stride. It’s the trauma is so complex and the kind of trauma they have faced we can’t even imagine. You know, we have not suffered. They have suffered, so they have their own reasons. So we have to keep that in mind and accordingly deal with them and deal with our own frustrations and sense of failure. It’s very, very important that we take self care, otherwise we will never be able to do justice to the children.

Colby: 51:36

Yeah, I think it’s really important that you mentioned that, that it is a tough area to work in and that what you said links in with a couple of my previous podcasts too one with Dr Nicola O’Sullivan talking about supervision and the importance of reflective supervision and acknowledgement that acknowledges the impact of the work on us. The other thing that came to mind was graham carriage’s podcast. Um. That was, I think uh, at this by this day, the the most recent past podcast that I released and he told the story of a young person who he worked with at the cotswold community in the UK in the late 1970s and who who recontacted him or contacted him via LinkedIn only a few years ago, but some 40 years later, for more than 40 years later, and in telling that story, graham did mention that the young person.

Colby: 52:38

You know that there were challenges and it wasn’t the best outcome that you would want to draw everyone’s attention to in terms of his early progress in life, but then he found his way and Graham tells a wonderful story about that young person’s achievements in their adult life and I think what that see a lot of people say to me. You know they worry about whether what they’re doing is enough for these young people. And I’m always put in mind of the one good adult research, the one, the one good adult literature, which which says, and I’m paraphrasing here but as long as a young person, when they’re growing up, can identify one person who, yeah, who is there for them, who understands them, who they can turn to for support, then that will make, yeah, they’re much more likely to have a normal life. And I say normal life because again, I’m tying this in another recent guest, adela Holmes talked about aspirations for our young people should be a normal life, just a normal life.

Colby: 54:06

Just a normal life, yeah, yeah, lovely, Kieran, I always give everyone a. I’m not sure about your time, but I always give everyone a chance now to ask me a question before we go. Did you have a question you’d like to ask me?Kiran: 

54:23

Actually, can I ask you to?

Colby: 54:25

yes, why?

Kiran: 54:26

not. So you’ve been doing such beautiful podcasts two or three of them I’ve been able to hear, and I gained so much from them. I want to understand from you what is one surprising or transformative insight you would like to quote. After meeting so many people who are practitioners in this field you are speaking to people from around the world one surprising and transformative insight which you were not exposed to earlier? This is my first question and the second question in the AI world, you know, how do we manage, you know the learnings that we are making and how do we maintain children’s confidentiality and safeguarding concerns? These two questions I have for you.

Colby: 55:19

Well, I’ll ask. I always pride myself on being able to answer questions without notice. The second one on AI. I have to say I don’t know with that one. I think the technology, the AI field is just developing very quickly. Field is just developing very quickly and if you don’t, if you and if you don’t kind of stick with it, it, it, you know, it leaves you behind very, very quickly. And I had kath nibs on. Katherine nibs on uh, I think was podcast episode four, um, she’s a international um expert in online harm for children and and she reflects on just how difficult it is seemingly, or at least how um, how far behind adults are in having a full appreciation of the online world and where children and young people are at online. So, um, if you haven’t already have a, have a listen to her podcast and and and perhaps um follow up.

Colby: 56:31

I’ve seen your youtube I okay, yes, um, so sorry. Unfortunately, all I could say is I don’t. I don’t really know the answer to that. What I do know is that we can’t we, we probably we need to educate our kids, we can’t our young people about what’s out there. We can’t restrict it, because children who come from deprivation, apart from it being totally unfair, they respond very badly to further attempts to restrict. And also, being overprotective and restrictive in that way will mean that they will feel different to their peers. In terms of what I, there’s been quite a number of insights. The things that have really stood out for me have been the importance well, I came into doing this very much of a mind that you need to have time.

Colby: 57:41

You need to take time to think about what you’re doing if you don’t take time to think about what you’re doing, then you become your work, becomes very heartless and procedural.

Colby: 57:57

And with regard to the heartless point, I think one of the things that I’ve been talking about with a number of guests has been the importance of acknowledging the impact of the work on us and being aware of our own capacity to perhaps not provide the best level of care because it’s uncomfortable for us because of some aspect that it brings up for us.

Colby: 58:32

So I think that, addition to what I was already coming in with about thinking about care, I think thinking about the work we do, thinking about the impact of the work we do and where our blind spots are. Nicola O’Sullivan talked beautifully about this in podcast number three, but you know it can sometimes feel isolating working in this space. It’s very nuanced, it’s very specialist and you can’t just talk to anyone about the work that you do and for them to fully understand and get where you’re coming from, what your experience is, so what the thing that the overwhelming experience that I take out of this is I’m surprised that so many people want to speak to me for a start, and it’s just a great experience to talk to people who are like-minded and have a similar experience of the work.

Kiran: 59:47

Great, thank you, thank you. There’s so much of learning here.Colby: 59:50

Yeah, Well, and thank you. Look, it’s just been wonderful to have you on board today, Kieran. Perhaps can you just tell people, our listeners, where is the best place to get to access more information about Udayan Care.

Kiran: 1:00:07

Yeah, so we are headquartered in Delhi and, as you said, we have expanded our banks to almost every part of India, and the website is there, wwwudayankareorg, so people can always find us. They can find me, kiran Moody. I’m on LinkedIn. I’m everywhere, so they can find me. I’m always available.

Colby: 1:00:32

I’ll put those links on the podcast, the audio and the video that’s on YouTube. Look, kiran. Again, thank you very much for appearing. My plan at the moment is to listen back to each of the podcasts that I’m doing in a little while and write down all the questions that I would have liked to have asked you today, but didn’t have time scheduled to do that. So I wonder if you would be happy for me to recontact you at some later date to ask you a few more questions.

Kiran: 1:01:15

Absolutely more than happy Because you know it makes me also reflect and, like you said, you need time to reflect on what you’re doing. I’ll be more than happy, and especially, you know, our transitioning from the institutional care model to the family-based care. Today we didn’t have enough time for that, I would really love to talk about that, thank you.

Colby: 1:01:37

Yeah, absolutely All right. Well, thank you and all the best to you, and I’ll speak to you another time yes, thank you bye.

From Cotswold to Global Health: Creating Healing Systems

What Happens When We Invest in Human Potential?

The Cotswold Community stands as a pioneering example of therapeutic residential care for deeply troubled young people, showcasing how thoughtful, systemic approaches to trauma can transform lives across generations. In my conversation with Graeme Kerridge, who worked at the Cotswold Community in the late 1970s before developing a career in international health management, we explored the profound and lasting impact of this revolutionary approach to caring for emotionally damaged children.

The Cotswold Community was established under the leadership of Richard Balbirnie, who undertook the monumental task of transforming an old-style approved school (essentially a reformatory) into a therapeutic community. What made this transformation remarkable was Balbirnie’s commitment to working with existing staff and residents rather than starting from scratch. This change management process speaks volumes about how institutional change can occur even in the most challenging environments when guided by clear therapeutic principles and strong leadership.

At the heart of the Cotswold approach was a therapeutic model based on the work of Donald Winnicott and Barbara Dockar-Drysdale, focusing on creating an environment where severely damaged children could begin to heal. The community operated without locks, bars, or restraints—remarkable for working with young people who were often one step away from secure facilities. This open approach was coupled with careful assessment: could they help the boy? Could they contain him in an open setting? And importantly, was the boy so damaged that attempting to help would drain and destroy staff?

What particularly stands out about the Cotswold Community was its commitment to being a learning institution. Staff regularly participated in reading groups, analyzed their work, and openly discussed what was working and what wasn’t. Both Balbirnie and Dockar-Drysdale published annual “realizations papers” documenting their learnings and needed changes. This culture of reflection and growth extended to both staff and residents, creating parallel developmental journeys that reinforced the therapeutic environment.

Perhaps the most powerful testament to the Cotswold approach came through Graeme’s story of reconnecting with a former resident 39 years after leaving the community. This young man, who had stolen soft toys from a childcare center (revealing his profound emotional deprivation), had managed to break his family’s intergenerational cycle of dysfunction. Despite a rough start after leaving the community, he developed marketable skills, maintained a stable 20-year partnership, and had two sons attending university—an extraordinary outcome for someone from his background.

The systems approach that guided the Cotswold Community had far-reaching implications beyond residential care. Graeme applied these principles throughout his career in healthcare management and international health development, recognizing that effective intervention requires looking at the entire system rather than isolated components. Whether managing hospital quality or national disease programs, this holistic perspective proved invaluable.

The conversation raises important questions about Australia’s current approach to troubled young people. While residential care has evolved toward smaller community houses, we lack the equivalent of the comprehensive therapeutic communities like Cotswold or the Mulberry Bush schools that continue to operate in the UK. This represents a significant gap in our care landscape, especially for our most damaged young people who may not thrive in foster care or conventional residential settings.

The economic argument for therapeutic intervention is compelling. As Graeme noted from his international health experience, preventive programs show remarkable returns on investment—$42 back for every dollar spent on TB programs, for example. Similar calculations would likely show the tremendous cost-effectiveness of proper therapeutic care for troubled children compared to the long-term costs of incarceration, intergenerational trauma, and lost human potential.

You can listen here:

You can watch at the link below:

About Graeme

Graeme is an international health development consultant who has worked in over 25 countries throughout Africa, Asia and the Pacific, and in the countries of the former Soviet Union. He has particularly focused on assignments supporting grants from the Global Fund to fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria (GFATM). In addition to working as a consultant and technical team leader on assignments funded by USAID, AusAID (DFAT), GIZ and other donors, for several years he was a technical manager on a major USAID project based in Washington DC where he managed and oversaw multiple teams of consultants supporting Global Fund grants around the world.

Prior to his international development career, Graeme worked for 18 years in health care management in several states of Australia. He started his professional career, however, working for several years in the late 1970s at The Cotswold Community, an experimental therapeutic community for maladjusted children in Wiltshire, UK. While he did not continue working in that field after returning to Australia, he often reflects on his learnings from that period in pursuing a career in the management of caring organisations.

Related Podcast Interviews:

Tom Ellison

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John Whitwell

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Transcript:

Colby: 0:00

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast.

Graeme: 0:03

And so the systems approach that was adopted at the Cotswold community very much influenced the way that I took work into healthcare management, and the probation officer that I was shadowing on a voluntary basis said look, Graeme, if you want to understand how people get to be like this in prison and coming out often very institutionalised and struggling, then it would be worth my while learning about children.

Graeme: 0:47

I saw an advertisement for the Cotswold community and I applied and was invited to go and meet with them and, yeah, that was how I came to work at the Cotswolds. Richard and his team had a very, very strong commitment to the Cotswold community being a learning institution and, you know, with a preparedness to examine what was working, what was not working and talk about it very openly, without, you know, ego getting in the way at all. The community was seeking to, and bearing in mind that a lot of the work that Winnicott had done and that Barbara Dr Drysdale had done was looking at the damage that was done by removing children during the blitz yeah and so there was a very, very um strong belief that, look, you do not remove the child unless you know it is is really very, very serious.

Graeme: 2:04

And then you look at how to do it in a way that causes the least damage.

Colby: 2:10

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce, and joining me for this episode is a highly experienced executive and consultant in international health development who, at the beginning of his professional career, worked in the Cotswold residential care community for deeply troubled young people. Before I introduce my guests, I’d just like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land I’m meeting on the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains and also the Jagera and Tirribul people, who are the traditional custodians of the lands that our guest is coming to us from, and I’d like to acknowledge the continuing connection that Aboriginal people feel to land, culture, community and pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. My guest for this episode is Graeme Kerridge.

Colby: 3:11

Graeme is an international health development consultant who has worked in over 25 countries throughout Africa, asia and the Pacific and in the countries of the former Soviet Union. He is particularly focused on assignments supporting grants from the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, tuberculosis and Malaria. In addition to working as a consultant and technical team leader on assignments funded by USAID, ausaid and other donors, for several years he was a technical manager on a major USAID project based in Washington DC, where he managed and oversaw multiple teams of consultants supporting global fund grants around the world. Prior to his international development career, Graeme worked for 18 years in healthcare management in several states of Australia. He started his professional community, however, working for several years in the late 1970s at the Cotswold Community, an experimental therapeutic community for maladjusted children in Wiltshire, the United Kingdom. While he did not continue working in that field after returning to Australia, he often reflects on his learnings from that period in pursuing a career in the management of caring organisations. Welcome, graeme.

Graeme: 4:40

Well, it’s very good to meet you at last, Colby.

Colby: 4:44

Yes, it’s been. I should tell the little bit of the story if you don’t mind that you got in contact with me after episode two of the podcast. Yes, yeah, with John Whitwell, who was the principal of the Cotswold community for a fair amount of time. I’m not sure if he was the principal while you were there, but he was there.

Graeme: 5:11

He was the deputy principal while I was there.

Colby: 5:14

Yeah, yeah and yeah. You got in touch with me and you’d just been in Adelaide as it happened, and discovered that this was where I was.

Graeme: 5:26

Yes, yes, I had no idea that there was interest in this field in Australia. So I saw that John had done a podcast. I listened to it and I was astonished to hear that it was hosted by yourself, based in Adelaide.

Colby: 5:44

Yes, so yeah, as we were talking about before we started, it is a community that fascinates me because it is an example, I think, of a really good a program with really good outcomes for children in a in a therapeutic residential care setting. And you’re right, there’s not a lot of that here in australia. And um, I will mention, uh, another podcast, uh, guest, adela holmes. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of adela. She established the therapeutic model and was the initial director of a facility facility is a horrible way of putting it but a therapeutic residential care community in Victoria called Hurstbridge Farm, and so there is a little bit of that and it’s been quite successful and the podcast I recorded with her will probably have immediately preceded this one. If people are listening to this one and want to check that one out, to want to check that one out.

Graeme: 7:11

So, Graeme, tell me about how you first got involved in the Cotswold community. Well, it started off when I was at university. I studied economics as an undergraduate and during that time I became very interested in, I guess, what is known these days as human capital. That is how, and, more to the point, how we waste so much human capital in all sorts of ways, but particularly by, you know, the people that are incarcerated or the people who are in long-term institutions. And I’m not talking about wasting in a strictly economic sense of them not being in the workforce, but more in terms of them not leading full lives. You know it could be grandparents not being able to, you know, enjoy guiding their grandkids, that sort of thing. People just not being able to join the family in major gatherings at Christmastime and other times, all those sorts of ways where society and the lives of individuals are enriched. And while I was another graduate and thinking about all this, I saw a notice asking for volunteers at I think it was the Redfern Community Health Centre, because at that stage they were just dealing with an influx of people who were discharged from the long-term psychiatric hospitals which were in the process of emptying out as many as they could at that point. And I would go along and I became a volunteer with them, working with the staff to support weekly activities programs for the people who were newly out of the long-term institutions, and I found that a very interesting area.

Graeme: 9:22

When I finished my studies I travelled and went to, ended up in London and there I started exploring opportunities in the field of care and rehabilitation of people released from prisons and I volunteered with the London Probation Service, again with activity programs for men who had often been in prison for many, many years and had lost a lot of you know, social skills and daily living skills, and we would run a weekly activity center there and I would also shadow one of the probation officers as he would accompany some of the people along to court hearings, to meetings, to work out their next steps, to help them fill out forms.

Graeme: 10:27

And that was very interesting and the probation officer that I was shadowing on a voluntary basis said look, Graeme, if you want to understand how people get to be like this in prison and coming out often very institutionalised and struggling, then it would be worth my while learning about children. I saw an advertisement for the Cotswold community and I applied and was invited to go and meet with them. I applied and was invited to go and meet with them, and, yeah, that was how I came to work at the Cotswolds.

Colby: 11:14

So yeah, it’s interesting, isn’t it? You’re working with people who had served terms of imprisonment and had come out from it. But yeah, that sparked an interest or you were encouraged to follow an interest in how all of this came about. That’s right, and there was that recognition that people have kind of.

Colby: 11:40

I remember when I was training it was almost people could almost be a bit flippant about it all goes back to childhood. I think that reflects the particular time where I was doing my training, where the dominant I’m a trained clinical psychologist the dominant therapeutic approaches didn’t require an analysis of childhood experience and the enduring impacts that that has on life into adulthood. I’m a bit older and wiser now. In fact I’d never really fully embraced that, and you can see over here one of the books that I wrote about. I’ve written books about children and particularly have led a career with a strong focus and interest on child to adult relationships. Yeah, so you went back, I guess, went into the Cotswold community with an expectation of seeing where things go awry and perhaps how to change the course of history for young people.

Graeme: 12:57

Well, obviously that was my interest, but when I went to meet Richard Balbirnie, who was the principal there, and the senior staff to get to know them and to decide as to whether it was my thing, I must say you know, several things really made a big impression on me.

Graeme: 13:20

Firstly, the very clear therapeutic model that they had guided which was very much modelled on the work of Donald Winnicott and also coloured by Barbara Dockerdrysdale, who was the consultant psychotherapist for the Cotswold community, and so it was a very, very clear model that they were working to. Secondly and this actually became, I guess, over time, my particular interest I was struck by a very strong commitment to a systems approach for the way that they looked at care and the way that they looked at management of the care there. They worked very closely with the Tavistock Institute. They provided a consultancy, virtually a management consultancy for the community, and, as I can discuss later, I guess that was one of the things that really interested me, of the things that really interested me.

Graeme: 14:50

Thirdly, I picked up right at that initial meeting that Richard and his team had a very, very strong commitment to the Cotswold community being a learning institution and, you know, with a preparedness to examine what was working, what was not working and talk about it very openly without, you know, ego getting in the way at all. That was very impressive. You know, these were just the things I was picking up on at the initial meeting. And then I guess the fourth thing that really struck me during that initial meeting was the task that Richard was taking on, whereby he had been taking an old-style approved school, which you know all the dreadful things that everyone listening to this podcast will be very aware of, I’m sure.

Colby: 15:51

Reformatory in our parlance, I think in Australia yeah.

Graeme: 15:55

He was taking that and converting it into a therapeutic community and he wasn’t able to have the luxury of, uh, you know, clearing all the the uh, the boys from that approved school out and clearing all the staff that had been there out. He had to go through a process of working with what he had and then gradually, over a period of years, converting the whole style of that. And that type of change process was an extraordinary undertaking and so obviously you know that was very impressive.

Colby: 16:39

And at what point did you come into it? Because it would have been just. I remember when John speaking to John Whitwell about it, it would have been a massive undertaking. Yes, and as I recall the conversation with John, it started really from, obviously, I think it was 1969 that Richard Balburnie took it over. And at what point did you start there?

Graeme: 17:06

I started the very beginning of 77.

Colby: 17:10

Yeah.

Graeme: 17:11

So and I think John and Richard saw that look, the first five or four years or so, we’re really just slugging it out in terms of the change process and gradually, you know, moving on staff for whom it was not going to fit. Yeah, additionally, after a few years Richard moved on about half the boys that were in there as well.

Graeme: 17:46

Okay, because he recognised that, or there was a broad recognition that many of the boys there were, I guess, low-level delinquents and were not seriously disturbed boys that he wanted to really focus the community on and he recognised that, in fact, those boys that were essentially delinquents but not seriously disturbed, they actually deteriorated if they were in that type of environment you know of the institutional environment and it was much better for them to be out in the community and being kept an eye on at the community level by, you know, the local social services and the local police.

Colby: 18:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, and that and that, yeah, and that’s right and that’s what we do see that um, there is that kind of effect where um people, when you’re the environment in which you are in, can can either um can expose you to um influences that that may not be in your best interest, I guess going forwards and um, but I, I’m really also this is a little bit of a question without notice, because I’m really um, I’m turning my mind to the really the, the magnitude of that, that process of change that richard undertook to um my and and my observation would be from my own work over the last 30 years. It is very difficult, even motivated people of the need to vary their approach to caregiving and relating with our deeply hurt and troubled young people, let alone what I think John well, in my conversation with him, described as almost prison guards really, and with that being the role and perhaps that being the mentality of the way in which they approached the work.

Graeme: 20:19

Yeah, yeah.

Colby: 20:21

So, no question without notice there it was more just me thinking and reflecting on on that um. So you, these were, that was your kind of initial impressions. They were, they were really favorable, um, and how did that, those impressions play out, I guess, at over the time that you were at the Cotswold community, and what additional things perhaps did you notice about it that both made it work and or needed further work?

Graeme: 20:58

Yeah, well, look, I can say that the portrayal that Richard provided and that I absorbed in that very first day that I spent with him, that was very accurate. But obviously I developed a lot more insights as to you know, more insights as to you know the way in which the place sought to function over time. One of the really things that struck me very, very strongly was the very clear triaging system that Richard had set up there, guided by Barbara Dockerdrysdale, obviously, in that there was a very clear process of asking, you know, firstly, can we help this boy? Secondly, can we contain the boy? Because it was an open community.

Graeme: 22:18

There were no locks, you know, no bars, no closed rooms, no bars, no closed rooms, no restraints. That, unfortunately, is still quite common in youth detention facilities and so on. It was an open facility. So it was really a question can we contain the boy? And thirdly, is the boy so damaged that trying to help drain and destroy staff? Because working with very damaged children, as you would know, is probably challenging for the carer. So the community was seeking to, and bearing in mind that a lot of the work that Winnicott had done and that Barbara Dr Drysdale had done was looking at the damage that was done by removing children during the Blitz, yeah.

Graeme: 23:42

We have got some dreadful experience here in Australia but that was the basis of their work at looking at the danger, that was, the damage that was done.

Colby: 23:53

Yeah.

Graeme: 23:54

And so there was a very, very strong belief that, look, you do not remove the child from unless you know it is very, very serious, and then you look at how to do it in a way that causes the least damage.

Graeme: 24:13

So there was a very strong belief in not taking in those boys who, while they may be damaged, they’re not so damaged that they would not be best staying with their family, however inadequate that might be, being supported by the county social services and by the police and other authorities at working through that out of a residential situation, but also not taking in those who were just so damaged that they would not be reasonably treated, without draining all the resources of the team.

Colby: 25:09

Yeah.

Graeme: 25:10

So getting an understanding of that triaging approach was, you know well, I found that that was a very valuable lesson to apply, you know, right throughout my career actually.

Colby: 25:29

Yeah, yeah, it almost sounds like you know, being very aware of what resources you have, to achieve the best outcomes with those with whom you think you can deliver the best outcomes for.

Graeme: 25:51

Yep.

Colby: 25:51

Yeah, that’s right. Yeah, and go ahead.

Graeme: 26:01

There are many other things that were really major lessons as well were really major lessons as well. Really, you know, understanding how their commitment to it being a learning institution played out was really an important and valuable lesson, you know, in that we would have frequently reading groups whereby, you know, we all studied different papers that were put together. We would, as a group and I’m talking about a small house group analyse what was working, what was not working and how to address those and the possible reasons for that. Again, in a way that was very open and Barbara Drasdell and Richard both often brought out about every year, brought out annual realisations papers, their learnings from the year where they had observed things that possibly needed to be changed or things that they need to stop doing and things they need to start doing. Being in that learning environment was really quite extraordinary.

Colby: 27:37

It does sound extraordinary and what it has me thinking about is that it was a very that staff growth and development, you know, had an important place alongside the boys’ growth and development.

Graeme: 27:55

Very much so.

Colby: 27:56

Yes.Graeme: 

\27:58

And that was an important part of Barbara Dr Dresdell’s role.

Colby: 28:05

Aye.

Graeme: 28:06

Yeah, to guide staff as well.

Colby: 28:10

And it sounds like it was a reflective environment and from the point of view that and you referred to the annual insights paper but it sounds like it was an environment where people were encouraged to think about what they were doing not just approach the role, uh, in a very um, routine, ritualized um, I’m trying to think of a better word for automaton, but you know what I routine ritualised I’m trying to think of a better word for automaton, but you know what I mean but to actually approach the role with a healthy reflective capacity, which is very much one of the foundations for what we refer to generally now as trauma-informed practice, whereby you are encouraged to very much adopt a reflective stance, be aware of yourself, be aware of the person with whom you’re interacting, the young person with whom you’re interacting, and what is their experience that led up to this interaction in the here and now. And it sounds like that was very healthily encouraged and supported at the Cotswold community.

Graeme: 29:42

Very much so and, look, I must say that observing and working with Richard Balbirnie was an extraordinary experience. You know, richard was a very well courageous person in terms of what he was prepared to set up there and the changes that he was prepared to work through. He was very single-minded and with a very clear vision of what he wanted to do. I have heard him being referred to as a very charismatic person, but that was something that Richard really argued very much against, you know, because so many of the types of communities that were set up were often set up by a charismatic person and everyone followed the leader. But then, as soon as that person went or often before that person went, you know, the whole thing would crumble and what Richard was seeking to establish was something quite different from that. It was very much a decentralised organisation.

Colby: 31:12

Follow your instinct.

Graeme: 31:14

And not a hierarchical organisation at all. It wasn’t so much following your instinct. You were very much following very much the treatment and the care philosophies and so on. But it was very much that recognising that it must be the people who are the primary carers who are making decisions and that they be supported to do that. And certainly if they stumble then you pick them up and work through.

Colby: 31:53

But rather than looking for approval from on high from some charismatic leader, he was seeking to have a very, very different organisation, seeking to have a very, very different organisation and entrusting the people that worked in the organisation with that capacity to think and reflect and instinct was not the right word, I think I was more thinking, following your reflections, I guess, following your understandings, following your understandings, following your learnings and teachings again, an extension of thinking about what you’re doing, I think, sounds very much like that was very healthy there. Yeah, now my um, my understanding of the Cotswold community is that relationships were. The relationships that were cultivated with the young men were very influential and important, and I think part of us kind of connecting with each other was not just hearing the podcast and recognising John, but also you told me about an experience that you had of a resident at the Cotswold community who contacted you many or decades later.

Graeme: 33:33

Yeah. Yeah, yes that was quite extraordinary really, in that some 39 years after I had left and 39 years after I had left, I got a contact, through LinkedIn actually, from a chap who had been a resident and who had been one of the boys that I worked particularly with in that each of the house staff would have about four boys that they would work with.

Graeme: 34:20

Yeah, and this chap. I had started working with him when he came to the community at about age 13. He had been a young thug in his local area and was in a lot of trouble with the law, and this was well. For any of the boys coming to the community, it was really the last stop before going into closed institutions, before going into closed institutions, and I worked with him for several years while I was there and just to give you an idea of the sorts of damaged kids, we used to work in terms of about eight weeks and then the boys would go home for about eight to ten days to keep in touch with their family, because that was considered very important, even if their families were often, you know, fairly dysfunctional.

Graeme: 35:54

And often, unfortunately, you know, they did break down a bit and get into trouble. And so I went along. This chap had got into trouble one break home and I went along to the court hearing with him and what he’d done? He’d broken into a childcare centre near where he’d been and stolen soft toys and this is a 13-, 14-year-old thug and so that shouted out the sort of severely emotionally deprived boys, boys that we were working with who had really had a very inadequate you know, early life that they were still trying to come to terms with.

Graeme: 37:14

And so you know that was the sort of chat that this boy was. And anyway, he made some progress while I was there, but obviously, once I left the community and came back to Australia I didn’t have any contact with them. And it was quite extraordinary receiving this, this letter. He initially just sought to make sure that that he got the right and then said he would write a longer note. You know when he could, and it took about another year before he actually did, but when he did it he had lived an extraordinary life, you know.

Graeme: 38:00

He explained how, when he left the community community he actually absconded from the community and he then sought to return but it was decided that no, look, it was best that he just leave at that point. And he went through several rough years, thankfully managing to stay out of prison. But then he managed to gradually start using some of the manual skills that he picked up in the community because there was a very, very good educational program that was undertaken at the community Poor Boys to help them develop manual skills, and he actually managed to hold down jobs in various fields, becoming very much a jack-of-all-trades.

Graeme: 39:04

He’d actually got married and had a stable partner for 20 years, or over 20 years, and had two sons that were going through university.

Graeme: 39:37

This chap, who came from an absolutely appallingly dysfunctional family background of intergenerational poverty, had actually broken the cycle. It was extraordinary. He said that he still struggles a bit and he had at that time when he reached out to me, he said he’d recently become involved with a group who was seeking to raise the level of public awareness of the sorts of experiences that he and his siblings had gone through very early in their life. For him, before he had got to the Cotswold community, because he’d gone in and out of foster homes and some dreadful situations that did not work, and he said that that was a very difficult process, you know, reflecting back on that whole very early time. But he said that he was being supported a bit through that process and he was feeling that he was coming up a better person through it. And he was feeling that he was coming up a better person through it.

Graeme: 40:58

But, as I said, I was absolutely thrilled that you know this chap, who had come from a totally, totally dysfunctional family and the family had been dysfunctional for generations had actually broken the cycle and was living, you know, a healthy life where he was enjoying a stable partnership. A stable partnership, he was enjoying being a father and caring for his sons and and he’d developed various hobbies outside of work that were giving him a lot of joy. You know that was very much that. I guess that fitted in while I’m thinking about it, that fitted in with my initial interest in the whole thing of how one builds up human capital.

Colby: 42:00

Yeah, how one builds up human capital. Yeah, it’s a really. It’s a beautiful story of growth potential, even amongst our most disadvantaged, in many ways, young people, that they still have tremendous growth potential. And I think you’ve had the benefit as well, through this experience, of being able to make the connection with work that you did and work that was done in the community and what comes after in the community and what comes after and this is one of the things that I similarly have a lot of experience of care-experienced young people that I worked with during their time in care making contact with me, and it really provides, I think, a really valuable perspective on the work that was done and, in particular, the importance, I think, of relational connection, the fact that he sought you out and made the contact with you, which would have been a fantastic experience for you, but reflected very well on his experience of you when he was in those formative years.

Graeme: 43:33

I’d obviously love to know a lot more of his story, but I’m very conscious that and I’m sure that you would have had the same experience that you need to be conscious that they need to pace the contact. It’s very much up to them as to when they’re ready to disclose parts of their story parts of their story.

Colby: 44:07

But yeah, I think, um, I think, when um john whitwell was was paraphrasing winnicott, um, and he talked about this in the podcast about winnicott and the idea of the, of the, you know, the, the children being like a bulb and we, and the growth was in the bulb John referred to, and I think that’s a very interesting perspective that everyone has, in the right circumstances, in the right containing environment, has the potential to grow. Yeah, when you said you moved, after being at the Cotswold community, you moved back to Australia and you worked in healthcare management and your career developed onwards into international health management and consultancy and you’ve worked across a great number of countries. But I’m curious as to whether there were elements of your experience at the Cotswold community that you took into that work and continue to reflect on.

Graeme: 45:18

Yes, look, as I said, one of the things that struck me when I first met Richard and the team at the Cosmo was their commitment to seeing the work very much in a systems approach.

Graeme: 45:38

The work very much in a systems approach, and I know that that very much affected the way that I viewed my work in healthcare management, whereby rather than looking at each individual work area separately, one looks at the whole system, the whole organisation, because in any system the different parts impact upon each other.

Graeme: 46:16

And during my time in healthcare management I became very interested and active in the quality management area and for a while there I was an accreditation surveyor for the Australian healthcare quality process. And when one looks at the quality in a complex organisation like a hospital, one really needs to look at the whole organisation. Because you know you may have a world-leading you know you may have a world-leading you know cardiothoracic surgeon and an extraordinary you know interventional radiology unit. But if you actually don’t have the connections between them, which may be as simple, as you don’t have the porters and the wheeling the person to and fro, you don’t have the medical records system, you don’t have the porters and the wheeling the person to and fro, you don’t have the medical records system, you don’t have the nursing system, they’re all working together in a harmonious way Then your quality can be very compromised. And so the systems approach that was adopted at the Cotswold community very much influenced the way that I took work into healthcare management.

Colby: 47:53

Yeah.Graeme: 

47:55

And to some extent in international health as well, in that I worked very much on national disease programs around the world and one needed to. You knew that for a country to be effective in, for instance, their program for HIV or TB or whatever, needed to not just look at the delivery process of drugs. You need to look at the supply system all the way through. You need to look at the legal system that they’re operating in in the country. You need to look at the uh, the messages that um, the elders, the community thought leaders, like the religious leaders, that they are sending in the community. So you need to take a total systems approach. So I think that that initial grounding that I experienced in the Cotswolds to a systems approach was, for me, extremely valuable.

Colby: 49:13

Yeah, and my understanding of how that looked in the Cotswold community is that everyone, all the staff, were trained in the model. All the staff were responsible for the delivery of the model. Yes yes, that’s true.Colby: 49:31

Yeah, and as an example of where that can break down, I remember John Whitwell talking about once he’d moved from the Cotswold to the first therapeutic foster care service within the UK. He made a similar point in relation to the drivers that they relied upon to transport young people to school and so on and that the observation that when the drivers were not were out of sync or asynchronous with other endeavour, that that has an observable impact on your capacity to achieve the outcomes of your endeavours.

Graeme: 50:21

Yes, yes.

Colby: 50:24

And you moved into international healthcare management and consultancy. What kind of motivated you to go there?

Graeme: 50:31

Well, I guess it was that original interest of mine in the concept of human capital, but very much on a macro scale.

Colby: 50:41

Yeah.

Graeme: 50:43

You know I was looking at what was happening in whole countries, not just in local communities or individuals. And also the knowledge and this is what we see in this field of treatment for disturbed children the knowledge that many of these interventions are massively, massively, massively cost effective. When I hear politicians drumming on about, oh, we’ve got to increase productivity, you know there is just so much that we can do as a society. That is massively cost effective. You know, rather than well, you would know, in dealing with disturbed children, you know, rather than locking them up in very, very costly and very destructive warehousing facilities where they are not going to really gain anything at all, you know. But if we do invest in them, hopefully very early in the piece, well before they become, you know, disturbed adolescents, but very early in the piece, you know the paybacks are enormous.

Colby: 52:11

Even so, if they’re disturbed adolescents, because the example you gave of the young person now not a young person anymore who contacted you, I mean think of the savings to society in the way and the breaking of that cycle and the way in which his family life and his children being at university, where the alternative would be to repeat the troubles that that family had, and there is a massive cost to society.

Graeme: 52:45

Indeed. So, the cost will. In those fields that I was working in, like in TB, I’ve seen various studies that suggest that for each dollar that’s put into a TB program, society gets $42 back. A similar in malaria and HIV, not at that level. I’ve seen figures of around $20 to the one. You know phenomenal payback, and you know, I’m sure, that there are similar studies in the area of treatment of young children.

Colby: 53:29

Yeah, I can’t say that I’m aware of them it’s not an area of professional reading that I do but I think it’s a point very well made in a number of ways, not least of which the description of the person who got in contact with you all these decades later, that if we, there is a tremendous benefit to our society by intervening in a therapeutic rather than a punitive way. In a therapeutic way with our troubled young people.

Graeme: 54:17

Yes.

Colby: 54:18

And the forward-thinking governments and administrators who hold the funding. Forward-thinking ones would do well to invest well in that area for the sake of. I found myself saying to a guest yesterday that the work we do is not only of benefit to the young people who are in front of us, but to their children and grandchildren as well.

Graeme: 54:55

Indeed.

Colby: 54:56

And it’s a very salutary reflection. I think yes, so, yeah. So do you have any kind of, all these years later, any ongoing or final reflections about your time at the Cotswold?

Graeme: 55:15

community. Oh well, look, it was obviously an astonishing privilege to have worked there during that time because it was very much leading edge, both from a clinical therapy point of view but also leading edge from that management approach as well, in that Richard and the team at the Tavistock who would consult with the community were very much, you know, studying how do we manage caring organisations, that they work most effectively, and that was an extraordinary experience. And, you know, obviously it was astonishing working in very much that learning environment where, you know, we were always studying the papers by Winnicott or Dr Drysdale or Bruno Bettelheim or others, and that was an extraordinary, very demanding experience. You know, I’d normally be reading between 10pm and 1am every night, so it was an extraordinary experience extraordinary is a good word, because, um, uh, they they’re not.

Colby: 56:50

It’s not the kind of reading that that someone who has a degree in economics, I guess, would necessarily. Or, you know, and people depending on what background drew people to that work. You know what was their formative or prior education. It’s not the sort of reading that I guess that they would necessarily have ever expected to be reading, ever expected to be reading. Um, it does make me, um, yeah, it does. It does make me wonder what, what people who work in a similar field are reading these days, what the what, the expectations around the growth in their potentials is. Um, look, it’s been fantastic having you answer a number of questions.

Colby: 57:43

I always, at the well, I’ve I’m developing a habit with these podcasts of uh, offering for the guests to ask me a question at the end because I’ve asked so many. I do. I do often. Um, I don’t often ask young people a lot of questions, but if it’s, if the circumstances are that I have to ask them more than just a small number of questions about something or other, I do the same for them. I say well, you know, I’ve asked you a lot of questions. Here you go, you can ask me a question. I’m pleased to say most of them are relatively safe in the sense that they generally ask me what my age is and I give them the answer. I used to give the answer in months, but someone worked that out how to do so I now give them my age in dog and cat years and they do they. Some of them have kind of cottoned on to that a bit now. But yeah, I pride myself on being able to answer questions without notice. I’m happy to answer a question if you have one of me.

Graeme: 58:49

Well, look, I would be fascinated to know whether you’re aware of therapeutic residential settings in Australia that are working with the highly damaged children, similar to what we’re working with in the Cotswolds, in that obviously I’m aware of individual or family-based therapy here. I get the impression that some of the residential ones are not dealing so much with the very troubled, damaged children, similar to what we were working with in the consulates. But I welcome you enlightening me as to what’s going on here.

Colby: 59:45

Well, if I speak for South Australia first, and based on my experience and an observation, residential care has gone through a lot of changes here in south australia in the last few years in terms of the structure and delivery of residential care. But certainly, um, our most troubled young people are in, um, they can, they can potentially be in each of the three main types of out-of-home care, which is foster care, residential foster care, kinship care. So, with with kin, usually family or residential care. I would say there was a, there was, there was a devolution from several years ago, from having congregate facilities, where there was eight or more or so in a facility, they’ve been devolved into smaller community houses where there would be one or more, really, depending on the complexity of the young person. And again, I don’t work in the residential care sector in our local departments. I may have omitted some of the things that they’re doing, but that would be my observation. I am aware, though, though, and as I said early on in this podcast, I interviewed, uh, someone whose podcast is likely to come out immediately before yours, who who was involved, um in the development of a facility in Victoria called Hurstbridge Farm, which I think is probably the closest thing that I’m aware of in Australia to what you describe as having been in place there at the Cotswold community.

Colby: 1:01:56

There are a few things that we don’t have that they had and or have maintained in the UK. So you know, barbara Docker, drysdale was equally perhaps more famous for establishing the therapeutic school, the Mulberry Bush. Yes, and there are the Mulberry Bush schools and those. There are several of those schools that continue to exist and in the United Kingdom where the kind of you know the Cotswold community and other therapeutic residential communities like that no longer exist and I think that they would be a good addition to our care landscape in Australia. In Australia, I think that I think it is. It is our loss to not have those kinds of. I know that there’s been scandals about them. I’m hoping to get a guest on who has looked into some of the myths and the factual or non-factual basis for some of the beliefs that exist about residential care.

Graeme: 1:03:08

Yes, Well, I guess that emphasises, I guess, how courageous Richard Balbirnie was in establishing the Cotswolds and taking it through that very, very difficult transition from an old-style facility.

Colby: 1:03:30

Yeah, so yeah, and then, yeah, I’m not au fait with other jurisdictions. Just, you know what’s happening in Victoria I’m aware of through connections and through a very recent podcast interview, but I would be pleased to know. I’ve worked overseas in Ireland as well, and they do have secure care facilities for their most at-risk young people, and that’s something that they’ve, as I understand it, has, been grappled with the implications of having a secure facility for our most at-risk young people. I think, here in Australia and here in South Australia, that we had a recent Royal Commission relatively recent that grappled with that issue, but probably that fell on the side of having a secure facility for our young people in such desperate straits is probably, you know, doesn’t necessarily doesn’t meet our human rights obligations, I guess, amongst other things. So I think, though, what I would say about the Cotswold community is is I would highlight some of the things that you’ve talked about that commitment to continuous growth, to parallel growth, you know, with the staff and the young people, that systemic approach, making sure that everyone is aligned and pulling in the same direction and pulling in the same direction, the implementation, maintenance of a therapeutic model, and I’m not aware of outcome study.

Colby: 1:05:35

There’s, you know data is key here, or king. I’m not aware of outcome studies, but I’m aware of, you know, a long career in an area of endeavour is kind of like research in and of itself. It doesn’t hold the same status as data collected within an academic institution same status as data collected within an academic institution, but across a long career, as I’ve had you can, I can reflect on the good outcomes that were developed with good practices and I can reflect on the you know, the problematic outcomes longer-term outcomes, adult people now, where things were not so great in terms of our care and management when they were growing up. They call that anecdotal. Sure, yeah, it was an enormous privilege, graeme, to speak to you and I really thank you for your preparedness to be on my fledgling podcast and share your experience and wisdom.

Graeme: 1:06:55

Well, thank you for reaching out and asking me to reflect back on what was an extraordinary um experience and very much a growing experience for myself yeah, well, thank you.

Colby: 1:07:09

I hope it was a good experience reflecting back, yeah.

Navigating Trauma Through Reflective Practice with Dr. Nicola O’Sullivan

Emotional wellbeing in child protection

The intersection of personal experience and professional practice in child protection work stands as one of the most compelling yet under-explored areas in social care. Dr Nicola O’Sullivan’s conversation with Colby Pearce in this Secure Start podcast episode offers profound insights into this territory, illuminating how our personal histories shape our professional approaches – sometimes without our awareness.

Nicola speaks candidly about her own journey, acknowledging that her early experiences of familial and medical trauma unconsciously drove her toward caregiving roles. This unconscious motivation initially created blind spots in her practice, something many practitioners might recognise in themselves. As she eloquently puts it, “I wasn’t so aware of the connection between my life experience and my finding myself in a caretaking role, and so this often got in the way of me being effective in my work.” This level of honesty opens up vital conversations about what truly draws people to helping professions and how unacknowledged motivations might impact service delivery.

The concept of defensive processes emerges as a central theme throughout their discussion. Rather than viewing psychological defences as obstacles to be eliminated, Nicola offers a refreshingly nuanced perspective: “Please don’t drop your defences. You need them until we have something that might offer something better or something different.” This compassionate stance acknowledges that defences serve important protective functions, particularly in high-stress environments like child protection where workers regularly encounter profound trauma. The key, Nicola suggests, is not elimination but awareness – understanding our defensive processes and recognising when they might be interfering with effective practice.

Perhaps most valuable is Nicola’s exploration of systems psychodynamic theory as a framework for understanding organisational dynamics in social care settings. This interdisciplinary approach integrates psychoanalysis, group relations theories, and open systems perspectives to illuminate what happens beneath the surface in helping organisations. By paying attention to unconscious processes, power dynamics, and institutional defences, practitioners can better understand why certain patterns persist despite best intentions. As Nicola explains, this approach helps us track “processes in the work between workers and between workers and families and workers and organisations.”

The discussion around supervision proves particularly relevant for anyone working in trauma-exposed settings. Nicola advocates for supervision that acknowledges the intersection between personal experience, professional role, and the work itself. Good supervision, she argues, requires a clear model (she uses the Seven-Eyed Model), regular meetings, safety, and attention to both professional development and personal experience. Most importantly, supervision creates a containing space where practitioners can process difficult emotions rather than avoiding them – a critical point when we consider that avoidance only increases anxiety over time.

For those new to the field, Nicola offers wisdom that resonates deeply: “Go gently, try not to feel so much shame about your own history, and find people who are wise and kind and open and curious and uncertain.” This advice acknowledges both the vulnerability and strength inherent in bringing our whole selves to this challenging work. By privileging learning from experience over theoretical knowledge and finding generous, experienced practitioners as mentors, new workers can develop the self-awareness necessary for sustained, effective practice in child protection and social care.

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About Nicola

Nicola is a Lecturer, Clinical Supervisor and Social Care Consultant, and has worked with children and families in community and residential settings for 24 years.

Nicola’s work has included overseeing the provision of residential and community-based services to children and families involved in child protective services.

Nicola also works intensively with foster carers to support their provision of care to children and young people. Over a five-year period Nicola studied at the Tavistock and Portman Trust NHS, London. There she completed a Professional Doctorate in Social Care and Emotional Wellbeing.

Nicola completed post graduate training in clinical supervision in 2021 at Dublin City University (DCU). She provides therapeutic support to Sexual Assault Unit Teams across Ireland in the form of professional therapeutic reflective practice spaces to frontline practitioners.

Nicola consults to senior managers in organisations nationally and internationally, and provides individual and group supervision to social workers, social care workers, forensic teams, and frontline workers at all levels in community and hospital settings.

Nicola works clinically in frontline practice with foster families.

Related Podcast Interviews:

Tom Ellison

Listen here:

Watch here:

Lynne Peyton

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Transcript:

Colby: 0:00

Welcome to the Secure Start podcast.

Nicola: 0:03

I know about my motivations, I’m aware I’m kind of watching out and I have the right support in place. One of the things I’ve come to understand is that you know often the intensity of the work that people do and the strength of emotion associated with that work can disrupt people’s capacity to think, and emotions can be so intense and disturbing and unbearable that me and other people that do work we develop defensive processes to deal with the emotions, and so I’m always quite careful about.

Nicola: 0:35

It’s not my job ever to go in and say get rid of these and here’s a better way. What I hope that I can offer is a safe, consistent frame in which we can make sense of the work.

Colby: 0:47

So welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce, and joining me for this episode is a respected member of the child protection and social care community in Ireland. Before I introduce my guests, I’d like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land that I’m meeting on, the Kaurna people, and the continuing connection they, and all Aboriginal people, feel to land, waters, culture and community. I’d also like to pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. My guest this episode is Dr Nicola O’Sullivan. Nicola is a lecturer, clinical supervisor and social care consultant and has worked with children and families in community and residential settings for 24 years. Nicola’s work has included overseeing the provision of residential and community-based services to children and families involved in child protective services. Nicola also works intensively with foster carers to support their delivery of care to children and young people in need.

Colby: 1:58

Over a five-year period, nicola studied at the Tavistock and Portman Trust NHS in London. There she completed a professional doctorate in social care and emotional wellbeing. Nicola also completed postgraduate training in clinical supervision in 2021 at Dublin City University. She provides therapeutic support to sexual assault teams across Ireland in the form of professional reflective practice spaces for frontline workers. Nicola consults to senior managers in organisations nationally and internationally and provides individual and group supervision to social workers, social care workers, forensic teams and frontline workers at all levels of community and hospital settings. Teams and frontline workers at all levels of community and hospital settings. Nicola works clinically in frontline practice with foster families. Nicola has a special interest in wellbeing, racism and emotional and relational health in health and social care settings. Nicola is a visiting lecturer at Trinity College Dublin, munster Technological University, cork and the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust. Welcome Nicola.

Nicola: 3:14

Thank you, Colby. A bit nervous after all that.

Colby: 3:20

That’s OK. Hopefully we can put you at ease once we start getting into it and talking. Now I just was going to let you know that I introduced myself as living and working and coming to this meeting on Kaurna land, and Kaurna are the local Aboriginal people of the Adelaide Plains where I live here in South Australia, and this is something that we customarily do when we meet and it is really a show of respect to the local Aboriginal people and Aboriginal people in Australia more generally, acknowledging the 40,000 to 60,000 year history of Aboriginal settlement in Australia. Thank you, so the podcast is a little bit of a mixture of kind of getting to know you a bit, better questions and then more direct questions about your work. So I guess the first question that I was interested to ask you, Nicola, and thank you very much for coming on the podcast probably should have said that a little while ago, but the very first question I wanted to ask is how did you come to be pursuing this path in your work?

Nicola: 4:45

How did you come to be pursuing this path in your work? Thank you so much for having me. First of all, it’s nice to be here. Well, I suppose it’s a long story, but the short version. I did experience trauma as a young child, both familial trauma and serious medical trauma. Unlike some of my colleagues in this field, I have chosen not to speak about it in great detail in public, because of my work mostly, but I suppose both of those experiences shaped my drive to care and pushed me towards, initially, the path of a residential care setting, childcare setting.

Nicola: 5:21

Yes, I’ve been driven since leaving secondary school without a very good education because of acute illness, to study and progress, and I think I measured myself against that, and at my most vulnerable I probably still do so. This was my unconscious driver. I wanted to be known as Nicola, the intelligent student, the hard worker. Clever Nicola instead of poor Nicola, did you hear about her, but I have to say Colby. Clever Nicola instead of poor Nicola, did you hear about her, but I have to say Colby. I wasn’t so aware of the connection between my life experience and my finding myself in a caretaking role, and so this often got in the way of me being effective in my work.

Nicola: 5:58

And it reminds me of a paper actually by Vega Roberts called the Self-Assigned Impossible Task. And it reminds me of a paper actually by Vega Roberts called the Self-Assigned Impossible Task.

Nicola: 6:05

She talks about the idea that you know me and maybe most of us are attracted to kind of working in particular settings because they offer occasions to work through kind of unresolved personal issues.

Nicola: 6:19

And I suppose if we, if we take it that that’s correct, then practitioners like me with similar internal needs find themselves in similar health care settings and I think that the needs that we bring kind of interact with the needs that the families bring and but that but there’s a problem with that and I think there was a problem with that for me.

Nicola: 6:40

You know, to understand children and families, I needed to have some empathy and to be trying to consider the young person’s experience. But if that pain I think in my case and in others perhaps closely resembles the workers own pain, so if the pain in the child closely resembles the workers own pain and conflicted past experiences, then their experiences at work may constantly threaten their capacity. And so that’s that, that was my sort of experience. So I think it was of great importance, you know, for me to have some insight into my reasons for choosing the role and setting, and for me that was a kind of a key factor in my work and one that I didn’t come about to thinking about until about 11 years into my work so, in continuing in kind of blind sort of pursuit in the health and social care field, I arrived at the Tavistock in 2012, immediately after completing a master’s in child protection that previous June, on a mission, kind of to get a PhD.

Nicola: 7:42

I wasn’t really thinking about what it might mean to travel to England to do this.

Nicola: 7:46

I didn’t think about the Tavistock, what this place came to mean to me. It was interesting because all of my learning really has involved a kind of combination of attending college and working full time. And actually I remember speaking on the phone to the course professor, the late Andrew Cooper, and he said to me you know, nicola, this is a very different type of learning, you know involve a lot of thinking and reflection. And I said thoughtlessly yeah, that’s fine with me, and I just signed up and so I began the professional doctorate journey and I suppose that was life changing journey and I suppose that was life-changing.

Nicola: 8:27

Um, I brought with me, to be honest, a lot of kind of unconscious items, you know, early, early kind of experiences. Um, I suppose I brought my role as a mother, my grief and loss as a daughter, my working in a former mother and baby home in Ireland and my lack of thinking about that and I guess I managed those hidden thoughts and anxieties but they did manifest in an overconfidence and a motivation to work hard and get out of that place as quickly as possible, without anyone really seeing me at my most vulnerable.

Nicola: 8:53

Um, yeah, but I suppose despite that, I met some very patient doctoral supervisors who who gently and very kind of tactfully, you know um, supported me to get to know that part of myself and I suppose I’m telling you all this because that kind of teaching and learning experience is quite unique and it allowed me to look at myself in many ways and to kind of get to grips with myself, um, and I would say that it has brought me safely to my current path. So I feel like a kind of a more solid, safe practitioner because of that experience. I know about my motivations, I’m aware I’m kind of watching out and I have the right support in place, um, and I think it’s so necessary when we move into this working space with other humans, um, that we, that we have those kind of pieces of ourselves somewhat intact. You know, um, but I have to say that if I knew what was going to happen in that journey in the tab of stock, I probably wouldn’t have gone okay, really yeah yeah, because I suppose it was painful.

Nicola: 10:01

It was a painful journey. I learned things that I didn’t really want to know.

Colby: 10:07

It’s interesting I have. There’s two kind of threads that I’m picking up or that I’m reflecting on as you talk about that. One is that certainly research has indicated that the helping professions do attract people disproportionately who have experienced their own early adversity growing up. The other thing that strikes me about what you’re talking about is, in this space, in the child protection and out-of-home care or more broadly, the child welfare space, there is a definite need for practitioners to be self-aware, and that process, I guess, of self-awareness, as you’ve beautifully described it, can be a painful one and one that is defended against, I guess, to the detriment of practice potentially. Yeah, and you’ve mentioned there were people that you studied under, academics that you worked with. Were there any particular professional influences that you look back on and think that they’ve really made a positive contribution to your work and the direction that you’ve taken?

Nicola: 11:37

Yeah, I mean, I think most definitely and I suppose probably my doctoral supervisors, dr Tim Dartington and Professor Andrew Cooper, and for the very reasons I spoke to you know to you about moments ago, and I suppose Andrew in particular passed in 2023. And I was a student of Andrew’s and of the professional doctorate in social care and social work and when I met him in 2012, I’d never heard of him, I’d never read any of his work and I would say I arrived from Ireland as a as a sort of a younger woman who was quite watchful, elusive and quite a complex human being, and I was very preoccupied with kind of wanting a student card, a timetable and all the other things to sort of legitimize my role and so gain some control in the environment. But I have to say that Andrew’s response was very kind, very gentle and kind of full of a type of compassion that I valued but, also found challenging.

Nicola: 12:36

I thoroughly enjoyed his writing. He wrote a beautiful paper called Hearing the Bluebirds Sing.

Nicola: 12:43

And he said that he chose to become a social worker himself as a way of continuing to try and heal his whole family and to continue his parents work of healing and sustaining communities, and for me, the idea that one would find themselves in this work at that point because of their own personal experiences, particularly in the family system, was, believe it or not, a brand new idea to me. And Andrew and Tim in particular, I, I think, stayed the pace with me and they very sort of gently um, as I said earlier sort of sort of helped me to to come to see some of my own experiences and to see, I think, what I bring with me now to my work is they saw my strategies, you know my defensive strategies that you spoke about as Ways of being creative, and they appreciated them. So often now in my work, I bring, I bring these ideas. I’ll say things to parents, as you know, like please don’t drop, please don’t lose your defenses. You need them, you know, and it’s very important that they’re intact until we have something that might offer something better or something different. So, and I think you know, it continues to be a kind of an unknown thought to many social workers that I work with today and social care workers, and this idea of what brings them to the work, their kind of drive and something that they sometimes discover in the process of work discussion groups that I facilitate with them.

Nicola: 14:09

And the other key point I think that I learned from some of this work is the idea, a kind of a deep understanding of the idea of using ourselves as a resource in the direct work with service users and what does it mean, and the idea that it’s a sort of an embodied thing, if you like, and and the need for us, I think, as practitioners, to attune to the flow of the emotional transactions between ourselves and our service users and colleagues which I think are constantly occurring kind of underneath the surface of the relationships, whether we kind of recognize them or not.

Nicola: 14:45

And that form of experiential learning has influenced me hugely and inspired my research study with child protection social workers at the time.

Nicola: 14:53

Um, I think the idea of psychoanalytic theory, um, because I was at the tavistock um helped me, I think, to understand more about interactions and relationships. I came to understand my own Irish culture, the painful history of childhood in Ireland, the chronic treatment of women, especially unmarried mothers and babies, my parents and grandparents, history and their painful experiences, and I suppose I was confronted with my own ignorance about history and so I think I bring that to to the work that really influenced me respecting history, and it’s interesting how you introduce the podcast and I suppose I have a much greater appreciation for what came before us and I didn’t quite kind of have that, you know, kind of have that you know. Currently, I would say that I’ve enjoyed thoroughly learning about supervision and having completed training in 2021 and to supplement my doctoral research and on reflective practice, and I have to say I love the writing and work of Dr Aisling McMahon, especially a beautiful paper she wrote on reflective touchstones that foster supervisor humility. I love this idea and I think something else you know in thinking about this is that I’ve that, I have to say, is my journey in learning about racism and anti-racist practices and anti-racist supervision practices, about racism and anti-racist practices and anti-racist supervision practices, and that that kind of learning has been influenced by a lot of people, but especially Dr Amina Adan, ngozi Cadmus and others, and I feel like I’m on a steep learning journey about my whiteness and my privilege and my own racism, and and I’d say that’s a project that’s kind of ongoing and it’s deeply challenging but it’s necessary. I love Ngozi’s TED talk and her sharing of information on LinkedIn. I think it’s super important for us white professionals. We have a responsibility to consider it and to think about it in our own position in society. So that’s ongoing and then kind of finally, I suppose, suppose, without breaking the confidence of you know one or two of the foster families I work with. I work with a relative foster family at the moment and, to be honest, I really I very much appreciate their honesty with me. You know they tell me what I do, what I say. That really bothers them. They tell me when I get it wrong and I’m really challenged to notice the ways that I what I say isn’t helpful and also the power, kind of, in my words.

Nicola: 17:27

So a lot I suppose you know there’s a lot that’s influenced me kind of historically and very present, you know, in the present day.

Colby: 17:37

I remember, as I was listening to you speak, I remember an idea that I had very early in my career and which ran counter to my professional training as a clinical psychologist, and the first place I chose to articulate that idea was at a job interview with our local child protection service, and I can’t remember the question, but the answer that I gave was one about. I think the question must have been about managing the emotional load of the work or something similar to the work that we do. So all of my training was about being objective and having a professional distance from our client, and I didn’t find that to be helpful in the least. That idea Well, not particularly helpful. I, very early on, cottoned on that. It was our own reaction, our own emotional reaction to our clients was a significant resource and it’s actually proven to be a massive resource because in my work it’s helped me to be able to express in my words, in my ideas, in my writing, a deep understanding and empathy of the children and young people and adult stakeholders in their life. And I also the other thing that when you were talking about your university supervisors and I don’t want to go too much into it, but I thought it reminded me of the therapeutic relationship, at least as I see it, which is one of a gradual exposure to connection contained in a sensitive, responsive and understanding growing environment.

Colby: 20:06

And um, I think you may well have seen the podcast that I did uh with john whitwell a couple of weeks ago, where he talks about um winnicott’s idea of the growing environment. Well, he, john, was talking about the growing environment. I have a very similar metaphor that I use, but talking about Winnicott’s ideas that the growth is in the child. It just needs and you could extend that to the growth is in the person. They just need the right environment and that, in a sense, is a large part of our job.

Nicola: 20:44

Yeah, I mean, that certainly rings true for me. That’s how it felt. You know, it felt containing, it felt like a holding environment.

Colby: 20:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I read your paper a week ago that I’d asked you to send through to me a little while ago when it came out. It was very interesting and I could see, obviously, the psychoanalytic influences in your work. And in your paper you refer to psychodynamic systems theory, which was new to me for some reason. I hadn’t seen it expressed like that. But I wonder if you would mind, at least for my own edification, if not for others who may listen to this podcast explaining in your words what psychodynamic systems theory is, and I’m hoping I’ve got that the right way around.

Nicola: 21:44

Yeah, systems psychodynamic theory, yeah, yeah, um, yeah, I mean I suppose it’s not the only model that influences my work.

Nicola: 21:54

So just to say that, and I think that, um, I find myself kind of constantly moving between like up close, being very close to people and their experiences, and so so, in that way, I’m very interested in the attachment literature, you know, or your area of expertise, and I think that I’ve always been interested in stories.

Nicola: 22:17

So I love the story of John Bowlby and I love what drove his motivation, you know what drove him to write about separation, and I think that kind of speaks to my love and very deep interested in people’s experiences. And I think that human stories are vital in imparting key clinical messages about human development across the lifespan. But I also see that human stories help us to understand in a broader and deeper way the institutional spaces and the practices within them. So, um, so I’m interested in the up close and personal and here’s where I think attachment theory is helpful, of course. But I also find myself moving out again more broadly and connecting um with the kind of systems and society in which we work and live, and so that sparks my interest in systems psychodynamic theory.

Colby: 23:06

It’s an.

Nicola: 23:07

It’s an interdisciplinary field that kind of looks at that integrates three disciplines the practice of psychoanalysis, the theories and methods of group relations, so the ideas of group, group work, groups, and open systems perspective, so the idea of the, the unit as a system.

Nicola: 23:24

And I think for me me it provides a way of thinking about kind of the energizing or motivating forces resulting from the kind of interconnection between various groups and subunits of a social system. And so practically I think I’m interested in connections and interactions and also what happens beneath the surface, especially what drives people and what are the parts of the organization that function to block connection. And I think that psychodynamic theories can be very useful in helping us to understand organizational processes. I think they can be helpful in understanding, helping us to understand the roles people take up and the tasks associated with those roles. So system psychodynamic offers us quite a lot to kind of hook into and sort of helps us to sort of unpack things.

Nicola: 24:12

And, um, it brings together for me I mean maybe other people who are, who are much more, um, you know, learned on system psychodynamic theory will have other things to say but for me I think it brings together the person, the organization, the group, us as group cute group animals if you like and the roles we take and the tasks associated with those roles. And I think we often use psychoanalytic theory in ordinary health and social care practice. You know, for example, we often refer to parallel process, transitional objects, transference and counter transference, projection, and I’d like to think that I work hard to bring these ideas kind of out of the clouds, so to speak.

Colby: 24:52

You know, try and helpfully track processes in the work between workers and between workers and families and workers and kind of organizations yeah, it’s interesting listening to you to talk about it because it’s it’s my thought really goes to the relationship between psychodynamic process and trauma-informed practice, the process of really looking into people’s deeper motivations or their inner world and how that is influencing or impacting the way in which they approach life and relationships. So, yeah, there’s very much an alignment between the practice of practising from a psychodynamic point of view and I have a saying about trauma-informed practice which is goes along the lines that it’s it’s less about developing strategies to address behaviors of concern and more about understanding and responding to the reasons for those behaviors, and so I think there’s very much that alignment between the two.

Nicola: 26:18

I think as well, though, as I’m thinking.

Nicola: 26:21

You know, what I feel is important to say, too, is I feel kind of deeply aware and sort of deeply motivated to not to be careful about how we use these kind of theories, and you know, I think about my own experience and had Andrew and Tim sort of Sort of pounced on me with all of these theories and sort of you know showed, showed me my defenses much too quickly and ran off, you know. And so I do think about the pace of this stuff, the gentleness and the respect with how we use the information that we have. And actually, you know, I feel a bit nervous sometimes about trauma-informed work that are we making sure that as practitioners we have appropriate supervision and actually paying as much attention to ourselves and our own processes as we are to the people that we work with? And I think for me.

Colby: 27:27

I’m always sort of keeping an eye on that. If you like, use the term dose and keep that concept very much alive in my mind, because the dose needs to be small and gradual and it needs to be contained within a, within a working relationship. So it was a, it was going to be a question without notice, but you but you’ve partly answered it because, as you were talking, I was thinking about the ethics of approaching this work and, in a sense, how do you describe the work to an organisation that would engage you, so that they are forewarned in a way or aware of what the work would look like?

Nicola: 28:27

Yeah, I mean, I guess it depends on the kind of work that’s happening.

Nicola: 28:32

I think I’m always thinking about being careful and being steady and I love, I love what you said about the doses in the right amount and in a contained environment with the relationship. I just love that and it speaks to me and one of the things I’ve come to understand is that you know. I’ve come to understand is that you know, um, often the intensity of the work that people do and the strength of emotion associated with that work can disrupt people’s capacity to think, and emotions can be so intense and disturbing and unbearable that me and other people that do work and we develop defensive processes to deal with the emotions. And so I’m always quite careful about.

Nicola: 29:15

It’s not my job ever to go in and say get rid of these and here’s a better way. I think what I hope that I can offer is a safe, consistent frame in which we can make sense of the work, and I do that with the support of my own supervisors, who are kind of keeping an eye on my blind spots and sort of watching my pace with the work. I think that’s very um important. I think the defensive processes in practice serve to protect workers and sometimes foster carers and children themselves. Um, and I think, from the workers point of view, if they did not have these defenses, they couldn’t endure the work. But the absence of understanding them and the need to kind of lower them when appropriate can disrupt practice.

Nicola: 30:02

And I suppose that’s what I’m interested in kind of thinking about very gently and very carefully, of course in the context of a relationship, and I think it’s very important to think as well that, um, you know, some people just don’t want to reflect, some people don’t want to do it and some people are not ready to do that. And I have to say, if I had gone to the tavistock five or six years earlier, I would be one of those people you know, and so I think, when we’re ready, sometimes we come to that and sometimes we don’t. And yeah, I’ll stop there.

Colby: 30:34

It’s such an interesting field and I think that self-awareness again we come back to the idea of self-awareness that we were talking about a little bit earlier and it’s not, as you say and I really like this it’s not about getting rid of your defences, it’s just being aware of them, and I probably have approached my career on a slightly different tack, but very much, I mean, it was memorable. Let me just say I didn’t get the job, by the way, but I think there are other factors at play there. But I’ve always found, as I said earlier, our own experience as being a very rich source of understanding of others. And, as you say, the work is difficult, the work is confronting.

Colby: 31:45

A lot of people go into child protection work with the intent, the idea and the intent that they’re going to help families and the intent that they’re going to help families and so what workers are required to do in terms of ensuring safety of children, it kind of well, it can run counter to the very reasons that they get involved. And you’re probably aware and this is where this you know very much there’s a lot of attention, at least here, being given to kind of moral fatigue, the idea of moral fatigue, the idea of working in an area and performing in a way that runs counter to your own values and those reasons why you entered the work. And yeah, you would need your defences, definitely in those circumstances. But what we don’t want is a situation where people stop thinking about what they’re doing Exactly and stop thinking about their own place in that dynamic.

Nicola: 32:56

Yeah, and I guess I think that’s where the use of some theory and also the use of kind of a good supervision or reflective practice model can help, if and when it can be taken up. And yeah, yeah.

Colby: 33:12

Yeah, so I guess. Just I don’t want to ask a question that kind of goes over some territory that we’ve already gone over, but are there any further comments that you would make about how you see reflective supervision practice, including perhaps from a range of theoretical stances, but particularly from the psychoanalytic systems one, are there any further comments that you would make about how that benefits people working in this space and ultimately the clients who they’re delivering a service to?

Nicola: 34:00

Yeah, I mean I think it’s important to say, first of all, you know that getting in touch with our emotional experiences at work and also having a sense of what’s just happened in a practice encounter, it does require capacity to kind of and stamina, and and it does require us to get in touch with and kind of stay in touch with some very difficult thoughts and emotions.

Nicola: 34:21

And in a paper that I wrote I’m not sure if this is the one you read, but with some social care workers I talk about this in much more detail. But essentially what I kind of suggest is that in moments of great distress, including survival and the bereavement of the kind that we’ve written about in this paper, in that paper it’s very hard to connect with experience, sense of it, and to trust another with that experience. And I think the workers capacity to engage with their own emotional experience is complicated by what Bion refers to as this idea of attacks on linking, and this is kind of the process that we use to destroy thoughts, thoughts and feelings associated with frightening experiences, and it incurs, it sort of usually occurs when the experience kind of severs the capacity of us to think about them and and that often happens with the death of a baby.

Colby: 35:13

Hmm.

Nicola: 35:14

And in that paper I speak about how, creating a space to think and to bring the work in written form and to sort of present the work to a gentle and welcoming and kind group where the focus is not on a solution but on deepening and expanding the practice experience. I think that can offer something Very therapeutic and safe. Yeah, and I think what I have found is that it can lead to a deeper understanding and meaning around the work.

Colby: 35:49

Yeah, yeah, it’s all right. I mean, I’m of uh, constructs or concepts that are um, that are floated around, I guess in the in the childhood trauma and and child and family welfare space, but one of them, um, is the idea of modelling the model, and I’ve been talking about it for a long time. I’m not sure if it’s in the first edition of my attachment book or not, but I’ve always been very much drawn to ensuring that my practice and the way in which I interact with people is very much aligned with how I want those people to then, in turn, interact with other people. So if we want people to interact with others with whom they’re working in a therapeutic way and establish a therapeutic alliance with them, in some senses the supervision arrangement that we have with them, or the supervisory relationship, is going to overlap with a therapeutic process, perhaps significantly.

Nicola: 37:12

Yeah, I think, to have a safe kind of space that’s kind and gently challenging um practitioner can bring their work and make sense of that work is priceless and and I I feel that it’s directly connected to the child’s and family’s experience, exactly exactly as you say.

Nicola: 37:29

Um, yeah, it’s very important, especially, I think right now I think we live in a left dominated brain, sort of a left.

Nicola: 37:39

Yeah, it’s very important, especially, I think Right now I think we live in a left dominated brain, sort of left brain dominated society where it’s all about tasks and procedures and processes and where there’s more opportunity to distance ourselves from children and families than ever before and we’re at risk of acting and staying out of touch with reality by discounting the reality of other people’s experiences and of our own experiences. And I think that the result of that is that the meaning of the work progressively becomes less clear and we find it very difficult to find reparative opportunities. And it’s these opportunities that fill our cup, that make us feel a bit better about the work and make us feel a bit better about ourselves in the work. So supervision and kind of safe reflective practice um is very important there and and good supervision in wilfred beyond’s terms and you’ve mentioned it, you mentioned earlier, mentioned it, you know, when we started is psychologically containing and and provide practitioners kind of solid support.

Colby: 38:36

Yeah, yeah, it’s interesting, isn’t it? When I think back over the supervision experiences I’ve had over the years, and especially in psychology in Australia I know it’s different in the UK and in Europe really moves quite significantly away from psychoanalytic thinking into other areas Now. So, nicola, I was wondering this is kind of bringing together a few questions and ones that I’ve given you notice of and perhaps not given you notice of, but bringing the threads together. I’m wondering if you were invited by an organisation to come in and offer or deliver supervision to staff, when you’re meeting with the individuals who are seeking to engage you, what would you say to them is, uh, the supervision approach you would take or recommend? What would it look like?

Nicola: 39:53

um, so it depends on the organization, of course, that goes without saying. Um, it depends on the context and the role and the task associated with with the job. But you know my sense. What I think I’d find myself saying is that supervision should be regular. It should occur in a safe space, whether it be online or in person. I believe it should happen with the supervisor has had some supervision training. I think it should include attention to the workers’ professional development, their personal experience and their working role and associated task. What I would say to workers I think this is really critical is that when we are at work, especially in the human services, we bring all that we are to that work.

Nicola: 40:36

And it’s to say that we leave our personal lives at the door and much research shows us that this just doesn’t happen, especially in the spaces when we’re working with trauma and we’re meeting people with similar, who look similarly to our own loved ones, who act similarly to our own loved ones children, nieces, nephews, parents, partners. But in supervision spaces, we are interested in the intersection between the work itself, your personal self and your professional role. Often supervisees will say to me you know, is this therapy? And here’s where a good supervision model is very important. And the supervisor’s own supervision, supervision, consultation is really important.

Nicola: 41:18

We have to keep our eye where it should be. We can’t be going off track and the model keeps us safe, safe and secure in that space. We are interested in the intersection between the personal and the professional and the work itself, and therapy for those of us who’ve had therapy focuses on us as a person, on our personal experience. Yes, of course the work might come into that, but you see, the main focus is on our own personal kind of emotional, psychological journey the supervisor if, of course, the personal experience often comes into the space, but the supervisor’s job is to focus on how and why it’s connected to the work.

Nicola: 41:59

And that’s where the supervision model is is really critical and supervision should be underpinned by a model that’s known very explicitly by the supervisor and the supervisee. Of course I personally use the seven eyes seven eye model by Peter Hawkins and I find that really helpful because it also places an eye on the context in which the supervision takes place. So you can see how this connects with my like for the system psychodynamic thinking. Of course I bring my own theories and influences, but the model keeps the supervision focused and really on track, in my view.

Colby: 42:41

It’s very interesting and I think what it really reinforces is that there is so much more to supervision than people generally perhaps think or expect supervision to be Listening to you. I think it’s very important, before you accept or get involved in supervision processes or a role sorry that there is preparatory work and ensuring that everyone understands their roles and what’s going to happen. And, interestingly, I’ve had said to me at the end of supervision sessions that that was very therapeutic, yeah, that that was very therapeutic, yeah. And when I’ve heard that said, I guess I have thought isn’t that interesting, that’s very interesting that that’s the person’s reaction to it, yeah, I think therapeutic process. So imbues my approach that even when I’m delivering supervision or even when I’m training, I guess there is that intent to hold people collectively in a safe and containing space and allowing that allows, in which they feel safe to connect and reflect.

Nicola: 44:26

And I I mean people pick that up, though. I mean I really like that and like people know that, don’t they? So when they’re saying you know that felt really therapeutic, I wonder I don’t they. So when they’re saying you know that felt really therapeutic, I wonder, I don’t know. But I wonder, is it that they’re saying I feel connected to, I feel safe, I feel heard, I feel seen and like that’s such a gift, isn’t it? You know, and one of the things that supervisees say in supervision, research is, of course, you. This will be familiar to us the the relationship matters, you know, that’s right. The alliance with the supervisor, that really matters.

Colby: 45:03

Yeah, so drawing together some more threads. One of the things that I notice in child protection is the we’ve talked about defences. In psychology, and particularly in psychologists who work with anxiety, we would refer to it as avoidance. There’s a lot of avoidance and in fact, there’s a lot of sanctioned avoidance avoidance so there are the safety actions and the safety behaviours that are engaged in.

Colby: 45:46

The child protection area is often driven by avoidance and I think, as clinical psychologists as I am, and in other professions as well, one of the psychology 101 things that we should know is that avoidance only makes people more anxious. Is that avoidance only makes people more anxious? And I reflect that back with you know, when people stop thinking about the work that they do because of the impact perhaps that it’s having on them, then they only become more anxious about the way that they do. If you subscribe to the theory, which has been well known for a very long time, that avoidance only compounds anxiety and that, as it is in the therapeutic relationship, but in the supervisory relationship, in the work that we do, it’s only through gently approaching the personal experience of the work, much the same way as how the most effective way of dealing with phobias. You don’t overcome phobias by avoiding them. You overcome them by I don’t know phobias by avoiding them, you overcome them by.

Nicola: 47:17

I don’t know. I’m afraid of spiders.

Colby: 47:21

So I would say when people say, well, what about spiders?

Colby: 47:24

And I would say, well, you’ll always be scared of spiders, but you can make the problem with a phobia the different. And look, I come from a country where everything is trying to kill you, remember, we’re not like we haven’t had some pat here. Um, we, you know, even in my garden now there is likely to be a brown snake, the the second most deadly snake in the world out there. The good news is they’re perhaps more scared of us than we are of them, although you know, some people find that hard to believe, I, whenever I see them, uh, they’re always heading away from me these days, um, but any, but yeah, so um.

Nicola: 48:09

I mean, one of the things I was just going to pick up on what you said there in terms of anxiety is, I think, one of the tasks for us, and especially now, I think, more than ever, anxiety, as I think one of the tasks for us, and especially now, I think, more than ever, is to understand the source of the anxiety. I think traditionally we we would often think about the source of the anxiety as being about being so close to child abuse and that we would call that kind of primary anxiety. We, you know, it’s just, it’s the anxiety about to do with the kind of task that we have A gorgeous paper written by, based on a study by Isabel Menzies back in the 1960s. She talks about the kind of primary anxiety associated with the task of nurses. I think now we have other forms of anxiety in, especially, social work and social care practice, and I think we it’s anxiety to do with being inspected. I do think we need to be inspected.

Colby: 48:56

Don’t get me wrong, but I think we it’s anxiety to do with being inspected.

Nicola: 48:57

I do think we need to be inspected, don’t get me wrong, but I think we have tipped. The balance is tipped and my concern is that we have workers who are more worried about if they’re inspected than worried about the family, and that kind of secondary anxiety is a should be a real concern for us, because what we see is that that is now organizing the behavior of the worker, and then the other piece that we have to be concerned about is the scapegoating Workers are very worried about. If something happens, in my case it’s going to be in the media. I am going to be persecuted and I’m going to be scapegoated, and we have lots of evidence of that. So for me, one of the questions would be where’s the source of the anxiety coming from? And for a lot of us it’s coming from above and below, and I think it’s a desperate place for them to be in. Often, um but that.

Nicola: 49:47

But that doesn’t mean that they’re not good at their job and also, for some of you know, for many of them, they enjoy it yeah, yeah, anxiety is um such a I.

Colby: 49:59

I think of anxiety as something that is potentially limiting and, to the extent that people are limiting, about the way in which we experience and approach life, relationships and roles. So, yeah, that anxiety that you refer to of being scapegoated is absolutely prevalent here in my local jurisdiction. Just from our conversation, I would anticipate it would be prevalent in many, if not most. But I would also I’d say one other thing just in a final point from my end about anxiety, which is that, like defences, anxiety is not something that we should be getting rid of. Everyone experiences anxiety. Anxiety can be quite a helpful emotion. As I say to my client group, it stops us from doing dumb things but put us at risk. So it’s a normal emotion. It’s a natural emotion, but when it’s a problem is when it impacts adversely on the way in which we would naturally, helpfully and as part of a good life approach. Yeah, life and relationships and roles. Yeah, life and relationships and roles. And if I was too anxious, of snakes, my garden would be a jungle and there would be more snakes

Colby: 51:52

living there, true. So we’ve had a lovely chat from my perspective and hopefully from yours too, nicola. But a couple of just final questions that I meld together.

Colby: 52:11

One of the reasons why I’m doing this podcast and selecting the people that I am to be on it is to kind of capture the wisdom of people who’ve been working in this space for decades often, and because I particularly reflect on new practitioners starting out in the field and their experience of the work, and also the client group and particularly the children and young people experience of them, the workers. So I’m wondering if there was any particular things or wisdom that you wish you knew and you’ve kind of touched on this a little bit earlier in the podcast If there is any advice that you would give to your younger self or any wisdom that you would give to your younger self and melding that into another question and that you would probably give to other professionals starting out in in this field I think I would say to myself, my younger self, you know to go, go gently, you know, try, try not to feel so much shame about your own history and find people who are wise and kind and open and curious and uncertain.

Nicola: 53:39

I find people who are generous with their and open and curious and uncertain. Find people who are generous with their own vulnerability, who will be able to meet you gently and carefully. And find those people, and I think I would also say to my younger self always be generous in your work, take risks, believe in your own sense of things and make use of that, your own internal sense of things, and make use of that. Um, for new practitioners, I think I would say find generous practitioners who are experienced and kind say beware of using professional social media platforms too much.Nicola: 54:12

They can potentially make you feel ill-equipped and we lose a sense of ourselves often when we scroll too much on these sites. And I would say privilege learning from experience over knowledge about something. And I would also say find a good supervisor. Ask them about their influences, like you’ve asked me this evening, and check what makes them tick. And don’t forget you can always change a supervisor, and actually having a supervisor for years and years might feel comfortable, but it might not necessarily be good so it’s good to to shift, shift about and change do you think that it’s not?

Colby: 54:54

it’s nice to be to have a supervisor who challenges us a bit.

Nicola: 55:01

Absolutely, absolutely, and I think it’s the role of a supervisor. Yeah, I think it shows interest.

Colby: 55:08

And as a therapist I think as well. Yeah, it shows interest In my own work with our children and young people who are deeply hurt in relationship. I see my role as one of challenging them a bit by gradually, gently exposing them to relational connection. That’s where growth comes, not just, I guess, in the containing environment, but the containing environment supports growth, but a little bit of challenging in that environment does as well. It’s like the fertil fertilizer, I guess.

Nicola: 56:02

Definitely. I mean, I would say, you know, having spoken about Andrew and you know said very nice things I would say the other feeling that I had a lot of the time was this deep sense of discomfort at what he was trying to get me to kind of see, yeah, and it’s one of the things I value most lovely.Colby: 56:23

So in my therapeutic work I try not to ask a lot of questions, but particularly at the very beginning of my work where I may ask a few more questions, or if there is a an event, something that’s happened that I do need to ask a few questions about, I tend to be more reflective and just make observations of what I’m seeing, the child experiencing. But when I do ask what feels like a lot of questions to me, and perhaps to them as well, I always say well, I’ve asked you a lot of questions. Do you want to ask me a question? What question? They always ask me how old I am. They often ask me how old I am.

Colby: 57:12

I was giving my age in months until someone worked it out. Now I do it in dog and cat years, which leads to quite a bit of laughter and working out of their age. But this is particularly so. This is with adults as well. When I’m asking them a lot of questions, I ask them if they’ve got any questions for me. So, have you got any questions for me? Or, time being, as it is perhaps something that you’d like to ask me before we finish off.

Nicola: 57:48

Yeah, well, I thought about this. I mean, I have a good few questions to ask you, so maybe we could reverse sometime and I could be interviewing you. Yeah, I think I would like to know what are your influences, your major influences, but I’d also really like to know so I don’t know if you can answer them both, but I’d also really like to know you know you’ve been in this field for a long time what would you say sustains you?

Colby: 58:21

what would you say sustains you? Yeah, that’s a very. I think the relief of suffering is the sustaining motivation. What sustains me in my capacity to continue with the work is my family, my wife and my children, which is not to say that I find the work easy. I don’t, and in many respects, the longer you work in the field or in certain respects, the harder it becomes, the more you know what you don’t know. So I meet regularly with Patrick Tomlinson I don’t know if you know him, you probably do. He’s very active on LinkedIn, which is where I made the connection with you and I also, I think, this podcast, this podcast has really become my way of meeting and experiencing connection with people who have similarly worked in the space for a long time and feeling shared experience, acknowledging the shared experiences that we had.

Colby: 59:56

So I think one of the things that I say to my client group is that not all problems can be fixed, but if they can’t be fixed, it is really important that they’re understood and that you feel understood in relation to it. So I think, again, it’s the personal and professional relationships that I have that sustain me and as I’ve been 30 years working in this space 35 if you include the research that I was doing before that. Yeah, more than ever, I’ve felt the need for connection with like-minded and like-experienced individuals. In terms of my major influences, probably the major influence would be Bulby and his work and related people, and something that you’ve touched on, which is my experience of the work, has been my greatest influence. As I said, it was very early in my career in answering a particular question that I was very conscious and very conscious thereafter of paying close attention to the person in front of me and also my reaction to that person. So I agree, I think experience is our greatest teacher and greatest influence.

Colby: 1:01:43

Thank you, thanks for that it was a long one.

Nicola: 1:01:51

No, I really like what you said about you know, we may not be able to solve this problem, but if we can understand it, if that person can feel understood, it’s so helpful, know?

Colby: 1:02:02

yeah, I love the way you phrase that, so thanks, yeah it’s one I trot out to children who don’t want to go to school most regularly.

Colby: 1:02:14

Yeah, we understand that you don’t like school, but you have to go to school Not said as bluntly as that. But yeah, that is an example of something that just comes up all the time with children is that, yeah, they often don’t want to go to school, but there is a legal requirement in Australia, and I guess in other parts of the world as well, that their parents are required to make them go to school. So, anyway, look, thank you very much, nicola, for agreeing to come on. I’m hoping that that was as positive and enjoyable an experience as it was for me speaking to you, and I’m really pleased to have made the connection in person, after messages backwards and forwards and comments on LinkedIn posts and the like. So, yeah, thank you again and yes, if you ever want to do a reciprocal interview, I’d be happy to do it, but I’m a very wordy person, so you might need to leave a little bit longer.

Nicola: 1:03:29

Thank you so much for having me and thank you for your interest and your attention to my work. That’s just such a gift. So thanks, thanks.

Reunifying 1,200 Children: The Connecting Families Story with Sally Rhodes

Family Preservation Through Trauma Informed Practice

Family reunification is one of the most challenging yet rewarding areas of child protection work. In this powerful conversation between Colby Pearce and Sally Rhodes, we gain insight into how one practitioner’s passion for keeping families together has led to the successful reunification of over 1,200 children with their families over two decades.

Sally Rhodes’ journey into family preservation work began in her childhood, influenced by her father’s stance against injustice and her early exposure to children living in institutional care. This formative experience sparked a lifelong commitment to questioning why children were separated from their families and exploring better alternatives. Her professional path took her from residential care in 1985 to intensive family preservation services, eventually leading to the establishment of Connecting Families in 2004 – now South Australia’s largest reunification service.

What makes Connecting Families so successful? Sally emphasises the importance of a team aligned in values, approach and commitment to social justice. Unlike competitive tendering processes that disrupt continuity of care, Connecting Families has built a stable team of practitioners who have worked together for decades, creating a collective wisdom that grows over time. This consistency allows them to develop deep expertise and speak with an authoritative voice when advocating for families within the child protection system.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the conversation centres on how practitioners approach cases involving denied child abuse, particularly unexplained injuries to infants. Traditional child protection approaches often demand admissions as prerequisites for reunification, creating a significant barrier when shame, fear of criminal charges, and potential social ostracism make such admissions extremely difficult. Through her Churchill Fellowship, Sally studied the Resolutions Approach developed in the UK, which offers an alternative pathway focused on building safety without necessarily requiring full admissions.

The parallel between team dynamics and therapeutic relationships with families emerges as a powerful theme. Just as practitioners create psychological safety for vulnerable families to engage meaningfully in change processes, teams need to establish the same conditions for themselves to navigate the challenging terrain of child protection work. This secure base allows practitioners to be vulnerable, make mistakes, challenge each other’s thinking, and ultimately provide better support to families.

Perhaps the most profound insight from Sally’s decades of experience is the long-lasting impact of child protection decisions. “Think very, very carefully about what you write, what you decide, because it has consequences,” she advises, acknowledging that with greater knowledge and experience, she would now make different decisions in some past cases. This humility and willingness to evolve one’s thinking over time reflects the continuous learning journey that characterises effective practice in this complex field.

For those working in child protection, family preservation, or any helping profession, this conversation offers valuable reflections on creating practice environments that balance rigour with compassion, accountability with understanding, and ultimately prioritise keeping families safely together whenever possible.

Listen here:

Watch here:

About Sally

Sally has a Master of Social Work, and a Graduate Diploma in Family Therapy.

Sally, commenced working in residential care in 1985, then followed her passion for strengthening families through working intensively in family preservation services.

In 2004 Sally established Connecting Families, a therapeutic Reunification and Family Preservation service, which has grown to 17 practitioners.

Sally is trained in Narrative Therapy, Marte Meo, Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics, and Signs of Safety.

Sally was awarded a Churchill Fellowship to work in the UK with the Resolutions Approach – Working with Denied Child Abuse.

Connecting Families is now the largest Reunification Service is South Australia and, together the team has safely reunified over 1200 children, and prevented the removal of many more.

In Connecting Families, Sally has selected practitioners who share her commitment to social justice and human rights, and ethically driven practice.

Sally provides training and consultation to Government and Non-Government organisations and remains a strong advocate for vulnerable families.

Sally has been integral in leading the development of a Partnering for Safety approach to child protection through training and consulting, and is passionate about family led decision making and bringing the child’s voice into child protection work.

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Lighthouse Foundation

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Transcript:

Sally: 0:01

I think I always knew this, but I know it far more powerfully now, is that the decisions that we make, the things that we write, the recommendations that we make about families have long-lasting impact. So, therefore, think very, very carefully about what you write, what you decide, because it has consequences, and I know that to be so true now that I probably didn’t know as strongly back then.

Colby: 0:40

Hi and welcome to the Secure Start podcast. Hi and welcome to the Secure Start podcast. I’m Colby Pearce, and joining me for this episode is a highly respected practitioner in my home jurisdiction. Before I introduce my guests, I’d like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land that we are meeting on the Kaurna people, and the continuing connection they and other Aboriginal people feel to land, waters, culture and community. I’d also like to pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. So my guest for this episode is Sally Rhodes. Welcome Sally, thanks Colby. Welcome Sally, thanks Colby. So Sally is, as I said, a practitioner in my home jurisdiction here and we’re both used to paying our respects to the traditional custodians of the lands we meet on. So, for those who may be listening or watching overseas, this is a customary paying of respect to those traditional owners.

Colby: 1:56

Now Sally has a Master of Social Work and a Graduate Diploma in Family Therapy. Sally commenced working in residential care in 1985, then followed her passion for strengthening families through working intensively in family preservation services. In 2004, sally established Connecting Families, a therapeutic reunification and family preservation service, which has grown to 17 practitioners. Sally is trained in narrative therapy, matrimony, dyadic, developmental psychotherapy, the neuro-sequential model of therapeutics and signs of safety. Sally was awarded a Churchill Fellowship to work in the UK with the resolutions approach working with denied child abuse. Connecting Families is now the largest reunification service in South Australia and together the team has safely reunified over 1,200 children and prevented the removal of many more. In Connecting Families, sally has selected practitioners who share her commitment to social justice and human rights and ethically driven practice. Sally provides training and consultation to government and non-government organisations and remains a strong advocate for vulnerable families. Sally has been integral in leading the development of a partnering for safety approach to child protection through training and consulting, and is passionate about family-led decision-making and bringing the child’s voice into child protection work.

Colby: 3:38

Wow, there was a lot there, sally. Obviously I’m going to need the editor, all right. Obviously I’m going to be the editor, all right. So, sally, um, I guess, uh, I just really want, um, for our listeners to hear more about you, um, as a person and also as a professional. So my first question to you is how did you come to this field of endeavor?

Sally: 4:04

yeah, well, you know I I had cause to think about this last year when we were celebrating 20 years of connecting families, and I actually really stopped and thought about how did I get here, really? And, um, because nothing’s ever by accident, is it, you know? And so I started to think about my childhood and where I grew up and what my influences were. And you know, it occurred to me that my dad was a really big influence in my life in terms of thinking about injustice and standing up for the oppressed. He always stood up for me, you know, which was something that was. I was a bit of a naughty kid, so you know, I used to get in trouble at school a lot and he always wanted to know.

Sally: 4:55

You know my side of the story, which was refreshing and not normal back then, like you know, I’m talking the late 60s, early 70s, and also mum and dad volunteered at a children’s home. It was run by nuns and there were homes it was about four. My memory was that there were like four homes on this property and they had 10 kids each in them and mum and dad would go there on weekends, like rostered on, to support the nuns looking after the kids. So I would tag along. And it just struck me that this was a really unusual situation for children not to be living with their families, and I think that that was my first exposure to it and I was exposed to it for a long time, you know, over three or four years probably that mum and dad went there, that I would go with them, and I knew these kids too. I went to school with a lot of them, so that was that. And then I and I think that sparked something in me that I wanted to do. So I didn’t know what it was, and then I didn’t go straight into social work, but I knew that that’s what I wanted to do. But I went and did nursing first, which I hated, and I left very quickly. And then I went and studied and I found my way.

Sally: 6:24

So this was in northern New South Wales, so not the state that we, you know we currently are in now. This was in a little town called Grafton, but then I moved over here to South Australia in 1985 and I got a job with the Department for Community Welfare, as it was known then, in um, residential care and um. I was 22 and I just thought at that point. I was too young to do sort of generic social work. I, you know, and I wanted to work with young people. That felt the right thing to do. So I, I was there and I stayed in residential care for eight years and I think that experience really fuelled again.

Sally: 7:13

This sort of kids just need not be in these situations, you know. If they can’t, if they, you know, we really should be working to try to keep children at home. So a family preservation service in South Australia started in 1993. That was the first one called Keeping Families Together, and I won a position in that and I stayed in doing that from 1993 to 2004 in various different roles but all like all working intensively with families and either in family preservation or reunification. And then the agency that I worked for, anglicare, lost the tender to continue doing that work and I was approached to set up on my own well, set up to work with the families that had been in our service, because the agency who won them that contract to carry on the work, for whatever reason, didn’t set up and so, fortuitously, these sort of families fell into my lap and and that’s how it started in terms of connecting families, um, just yeah, and then, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. Really, it’s a long-winded answer to your question.

Colby: 8:42

Colby, no, not long-winded, but very interesting. It really goes to show, I guess, that when you, you know how influential our experience is growing up, our experiences in childhood, are in terms of the future course of our life. Yeah, in fact, research that I can remember hearing about a long time ago about who enters the helping profession who enters the helping profession, so to speak, tend to be people who have been in some sort of caring role as they’ve been growing up. Yeah, yeah, as they’ve been growing up.

Colby: 9:27

Yeah, yeah and yeah. I think that rings true not only for myself, but a lot of people I’ve spoken to about this and, interestingly, just to pick up another point that you made in there is that the impact that residential care had on you and on practice and a sneak peek into another podcast episode is that I’ll be speaking to someone who ran a residential care home in the UK for a very long time and then moved across to run the UK’s first therapeutic fostering service, so our listeners can listen out for that as well. So, just moving on, you’ve talked about your dad as being a significant personal influence on you growing up and you’ve probably also referred to your observations of the children and the environment that they were living on as major influences environment that they were living on as major influencers but who were your professional major professional influencers?

Sally: 10:51

would you say, yeah, look, many and varied really. But you know, and I guess I didn’t really, I suppose I did, but I can’t even remember who they might have been, you know, but you know, but certainly when I came to um, a therapist well, psychologist, called Alan Jenkins, um, his partner, maxine Joy, Rob Hall, a social worker, um, these were locally based, Adelaide, um, but I think world renowned really in their craft and their expertise, so, and Alan used to come to our team meetings when I worked in keeping families together and consult with us and I just used to sit there in awe, really, so he was a really big influence to me. And of course, you know Michael White and the whole narrative therapy, dulwich Centre, in terms of, you know, I, and to think more deeply about that, I suppose you know, and so they were a big event. And then, over the years, people like Dan Hughes, bruce Perry, you know yourself, colby, in terms of your writings around attachment and the science of safety, people Like you know, all of that has influenced me and I’ve been.

Sally: 12:58

You know that all of those people that I’ve named, their work and their way of thinking just resonated with my way of thinking and it helped me, you know, move forward in being able to help families, have that breadth of sort of knowledge and expertise, I suppose, to be able to think come to, you know, talk with people with a whole lot of different things in your head and frameworks to operate from.

Colby: 13:27

Yeah, so quite a diverse group there. Yeah, I think you know, thinking about my own professional journey and the work of Michael White and others and Alan and the Dulwich Centre, who I was probably exposed to at a similar time to you when I was a developing practitioner, I think a lot of what I heard from them resonates more and more with me as I move on with my life and career. Certainly the stories that we tell about ourselves I think are are very powerful in the way in which we approach life and relationships.

Sally: 14:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that’s true actually, in terms of for me. You know, probably at the time I didn’t realise how influential they were and that they were and how privileged I was to have them so accessible. You know they’re in my hometown. You know I’ve got video of Michael White interviewing me.

Colby: 14:50

You know it’s precious now to look back on that and yeah, and maybe we need to be, you know, maybe we need to have practised, I guess, for a period of time to be able to join the dots up. I guess, for a period of time to be able to join the dots up, I guess, in a sense, around those early influences and the impact that they’ve had on us and our professional journey and the way in which we approach our professional and personal life. Yeah, it’s very interesting. Our professional and personal life. Yeah, it’s very interesting. I’m also aware, and I mentioned to you, mentioned in the intro that you did do a Churchill Fellowship in the UK and I know a little bit about what a Churchill Fellowship is. But I wonder if you would mind just describing it, what a Churchill fellowship is and what it was like completing it, who you did it with or who you, yeah, work with and how it’s influenced your practice going from there yeah.

Sally: 16:03

So the Churchill Fellowship was actually set up by Winston Churchill really for um, you know, australians to have the experience, to be able to go abroad, um, you know, to um to expand their skills and knowledge in a specific area that they weren’t able to get in in Australia. You know, like, so this was the original sort of thinking around it and that you could then bring back that skill and knowledge to better the community. So that was sort of the broad and I think that still holds true. However, you know, with the modern technology these days you really don’t have to travel. You know you can do it, but you know they’re still offered.

Sally: 16:51

So I, when actually talking about influences, there’s some other people who were very influential in my life before I did the Churchill, and they were the John Gumbelton, colin Luger, susie Essex John Gumbelton, colin Luger, susie Essex three UK social workers, therapists, who worked for the NSPCC Is that right? Yeah, and they started writing about the resolutions approach, which is a way of working with families where there’s denial around and particularly around injury, unexplained injury to infants. So those very, you know, polarising as well as perplexing cases where you’ve got a baby that’s got injury and parents who basically say they don’t know how it happened, and in a medical profession saying, well, this is how we think it happened. And and so you know they become very stuck cases that you know and and I was coming across them in my, in my work of um you know families with with seemingly no other kind of factors that would have caused concern to anybody but a baby that had these unexplained injuries, and so you ended up with a situation that either the children just didn’t go home because of this stuckness around the acknowledgement or they did go home because people just gave up and put them home and so no work was ever done and I didn’t think either of those scenarios were good, basically.

Sally: 18:31

So I started looking for um you know any any ways of working around this really and um, it came across these guys, um and made contact with them in the uk, um by email and phone, and um started having some consultation with colin luger, one of them um, and then the idea of applying for churchill came up. So I did and it’s quite a daunting process really. You know it’s um. They give away about a hundred nationally a year, but in south austral I think the year I went there were nine given away and you have to, you know, put in an application. It has to be very succinct, to you know, to basically explain to a group of people not from this profession. You know a wide range of people making decisions about who gets them and then go to it, get to an interview process, which is, you know, 20 people. There was sitting around a big boardroom table and coming in and actually doing a presentation and then getting questions. Anyway, I was lucky enough to get one. I think it was so interesting.

Colby: 19:44

You know, I think it is interesting, you know.

Sally: 19:46

I think it really piqued the interest of the people who were making that selection. So I went to the UK. I went to Bristol, which is where Colin and John live. Colin has sadly passed away. He passed away in 2015. But you know, obviously when I went he was still alive. But you know, obviously when I went he was still alive and I spent six weeks there in the UK with them doing, you know, travelling all around England because even though they were based in the UK, their referrals came from all different parts of the UK so we would travel to meet with family.

Sally: 20:25

So I watched them, I talked to them, I talked to families about their experiences, I interviewed judges, um, children’s solicitor, uh. I met with some other academics I met with. I met peter dale, who’s another influencer, mel, is people remember now peter dale? Um, he wrote a book called fine. Who’s another influencer? I mean, people don’t remember now Peter Dale? He wrote a book called Fine Judgments. He’s another UK social worker, psychiatric social worker, and yeah. And then I came back, I had to write a report about that for the trust and I went and met with the youth court here in South Australia to talk about it because really if I could get the court understanding it, that was going to help. You know, I did presentations to the department about it and I think it has it influenced me. You know, in a sense around that there were people on the other side of the world thinking exactly the same way that I do.

Sally: 21:36

You know, I think there was something really heartening and a sense of security about that you know, that these issues were were happening everywhere and that, um, that there were people who were turning their mind to. How can we actually help these families stay together, but in a safe in? In a safe way, um, and you know they are the trickiest cases because people do take such a stand about we need to know. We need to know what happened. If we don’t know what happened, how can we ever make this safe? So there’s a I’ve done a lot of talking with people over the years around trying to get them to think about that in a different way and why people wouldn’t talk about it. You know the sense of shame, all of the disincentives to to talk about how an infant got injured. You know the criminal charges, loss of friends, family, whole range of things. You know.

Sally: 22:48

So, yeah, and as far as I know, we are probably the only service that provides resolutions way of working, certainly in South Australia, if not across Australia. I haven’t come across anybody else. So it’s a niche and I think that nicheness you know that, you know helped in terms of gaining reputation across the sector around. You know, here’s some people who will actually work with these kind of families, but rigorously, it’s not fluffy work in any sense. Yeah, and so Colin and John continued to be Colin, particularly up until his untimely passing like he was very unexpected and in terms of him getting sick, that was. But he, I continued to consult with him up until then, and then John for a little while after that as well, and I’m still in touch with John. He’s retired, yeah, yeah, they were great, great influences really.

Colby: 24:09

Yeah, they are difficult cases.

Sally: 24:11

Yeah.

Colby: 24:12

From my own work. While you’re talking, I’m immediately thinking of a couple of cases, one in particular that I became involved in or was asked to become involved in very early in my career and, similarly to you, I was aware that local child protection authorities, the emphasis that they placed on admissions and admissions as being a precursor to looking at the possibility of reunification or reunifying, and I remember even then being very much aware of or thinking a lot about all the impediments to making those admissions and whether, as you say, whether there is actually another way that can ensure safety but doesn’t rely on an admission.

Sally: 25:27

Yeah.

Colby: 25:29

And I think there are ways to go about doing that, and you referenced one of those models or approaches.

Sally: 25:41

Yeah, I think it’s very much a way. I mean they are approaches, but it’s very much a way of thinking rather than a way of doing. In a way, you know there are certain things, steps through the process, but it is. You can’t actually do the work if you don’t sort of think about this in. You know it’s about being able to hold a degree of uncertainty and not knowing.

Sally: 26:05

But, also, you know suspending doubt, like all of these sort of principles of the model really around. You know thinking about denial, like when I’ve done some training on this. You know I remember talking to a bunch of supervisors when I first came back and I said to them I want you to turn to the person next to you and tell them the thing that you are most ashamed of in your life. They all just stood there and stared at me. You know, like I was mad. But you know the point I was trying to make was that’s what you’re asking families to do.

Sally: 26:42

You’re asking them if we take on that belief that, yes, they’ve they’ve unintentionally caused some injury to their child that they then have become aware of. And then you’re asked and they’re so deeply ashamed of that. You know that you’re asking them to tell you a pillar of power in their life what you did. And I just think it’s unless you get alongside of people and approach them with empathy and compassion, in a non-judgmental stance, that’s going to shrink shame and you may get some partial acknowledgement. You certainly get people motivated to make sure that what happened will never happen again, and that’s all we want to do is just to make sure future harm doesn’t occur.

Colby: 27:40

Yeah, I think the shame element is a powerful impediment and the regulation of that shame is a powerful way forward.Sally: 27:50

Yeah.

Colby: 27:51

And I remember something that well. You said something a little bit earlier where you were saying that not only the making of the admission means that not only do child protection authorities know about what happened, but it comes out one way or another that family and friends may also find out more about that. And I’ve done a similar activity when I’ve done training in the youth justice area and I had practitioners come one by one in and disclose similarly to me an act that they were it’s going back a few years ago now, but it was an act that they were ashamed of doing and it may well have also had an offending element to it, and they had to disclose it to me one by one and they had a choice about whether they come in and do that or not. Everyone did it, but everyone seemed to be quite uncomfortable about it. I will note that I was never asked back in service.

Colby: 29:04

I had met one of the person in subsequent training that I also delivered in the youth court, but I was never asked back. And I think it’s when we expect families to make admissions and the whole movement forward depends upon it. They’re not just making admissions to child protection authorities, they’re making admissions, potentially, to their family and friends as well, as you say. So that little activity that you did and that I did and that I did, as uncomfortable as it was, probably still doesn’t really get at what it’s like to make admissions in child protection processes. Because, to make it similar, we would broadcast what was disclosed to the group at least, and to family and friends.

Colby: 30:10

And so, yeah, there are very powerful disincentives to make admissions. And, yeah, I always thought that. I always think that nobody does anything for no reason, and I’ve always applied that in my practice with children, or for as long as I can remember, and I think that in trauma-informed practice it’s all about responding to the reason, and I think, similarly, it is possible to navigate a way forward by responding therapeutically to the reasons for a child to be hurt, without necessarily hanging it all on an ambition.

Sally: 31:04

Yeah, hanging it all on an ambition, yeah, and also, you know, there’s this big focus on acknowledgement and admission or whatever. And you know, and I guess my way of thinking after years and years of working with families in this area, is that acknowledgement of its own doesn’t necessarily bring about safety. You know, people can acknowledge that they’ve done something or they’ve behaved in a particular way.

Colby: 31:31

It doesn’t mean they’re not going to do it again.

Sally: 31:33

So you know it’s not enough, and I think that’s what certainly the you know the science of safety model, you know the principles and practices of that model, and that approach got me really thinking about that as well that you have to be actively demonstrating a change or doing something differently over a period of time. It’s not enough to say oh yeah, you know, yeah, you know.

Colby: 32:02

There seems to be a belief that an omission is an acknowledgement of a preparedness to change. Yeah, and it may be the case in some instances, but my thinking about it is that the admission is probably not the main incentive to change. Rather, it’s the therapeutic relationship that we develop with the parent-client and our endeavours to regulate shame and regulate them being closed off and rather to opening them to meaningful conversations and what follows from that as being probably the what we should be putting most emphasis on as a starting point.

Sally: 33:16

Yeah.

Colby: 33:17

Parents engaging with the process rather than parents making an acknowledgement. Yeah, yeah.

Sally: 33:26

Yes, certainly, seeing, you know, and because I think that, um, the focus on you know you must acknowledge, and this is not necessarily even in denied childhood, just in anything really you must acknowledge, you know this, or you must acknowledge the harm that you’ve caused your child, or you must you know the the way that that the statutory organisations come to try to get people to do that is just not therapeutic in any way.

Sally: 33:51

It’s very shaming and, you know, potentially quite frightening really for people because they don’t know the consequences of if they do acknowledge you know. So, yeah, I agree, and I think it’s, you know, when you know, thinking about this work, I mean I don’t think I would have known this 30 years ago. You know this has been a process for me also around, just, you know, I remember way back there was a book written by Maluccio and Pine which is around reunification and because people just talk about the stages, you know the steps and the thing, and it’s not like that. You know it’s because of this what we’re just talking about now. You know it’s really around understanding the complexities of people’s lives and experiences and building relationships so that they can navigate their way through that, to come out of that you know in a way that they can demonstrate to people that I A want to be a safe parent and I can be.

Colby: 35:08

I A want to be a safe parent and I can be. Yeah, shame is such a destructive or can be such a destructive emotion, and a process that deepens shame works against a goal of a safe reunification between the child and their parents. Yeah, yeah, I feel like we could talk about it for a long time. There’s some other things I wanted to ask you, though. I wanted you to just you’ve given a little bit of an intro to how Connecting Families came about, but perhaps you can tell me a little bit more, or tell us, the audience as well, a little bit more about the work of connecting families, and you mentioned 1,200 safe reunifications since 2004. What do you think? What are the ingredients for both the success of connecting families and reunification work more generally?

Sally: 36:12

Yeah, I mean that’s interesting, isn’t it too? Because, you know, connecting families in 2004 was me, so, and then by 2006 there were three of us. But the three of us were so Deb Pickering and Sarah Gray, whom I worked with in Anglicare in reunification and family press services. So they were. We’d already had existing relationships and they had the same values and attitudes and beliefs that I do. And because I was just getting inundated with referrals, I just couldn’t and you know what it’s like in private practice, you just never say no to anything so I needed to bring people on to help with that, and so that’s kind of what happened. Over a period of time, more and more people came on board that I had selected based on my previous working relationships with them, knowing what their attitudes and values were to sort of over the time.

Sally: 37:17

So, mac Davis another person from you know when I was in Anglicare, tracy Laddams, who I worked with in residential care. So Tracy and I have been now have a 40-year-long working relationship. Wow, it’s amazing to think about, really. Tracy was in keeping families together as well and then connecting families. And Mac, you know, 30 years, deb, 30 years We’ve been working together for a really long time. The core group of connecting families that has now expanded, expanded 17 in that bio since then with one. One person has left, so it’s 16, um, and they are people that I have come across in my career, um, where, where we have, we’ve gelled and I’ve known that they approach the work the same way that I do Others.

Sally: 38:15

Yeah, so you know, we’ve got a large team now with three men and we did have three Aboriginal practitioners.

Sally: 38:23

We now only have two and I think the reason why we’ve been so successful in the work is because we are a collective voice. You know, when I stop to think about it there’s you know it’s hard work. You know this, colby, you know it’s really hard work and often we are butting heads with the statutory agency, we are butting heads with the court, we’re butting heads with everybody because we might approach it differently and have a different view. And I think, with us being having so many people in the team and we all approach the work in the same way and think about families and that children ought to be with their families, if that’s at all possible and if not, with very close, enduring connection to family, that having many of us speaking that I don’t know what it is, but it just brings about a sense of safety in the team to be able to do that and a sense that you know we’ve got each other’s backs we can support each other and to continue to do the work.

Sally: 39:47

Support each other and to continue to do the work.

Sally: 39:49

So I think you know I despair at competitive I don’t know what happens in other parts of the world, but competitive tendering processes where agencies win a tender to provide a service for three years and then they put it out again and then someone else might win it.

Sally: 40:05

So no one develops long-term practice, wisdom, you know long term, and that you have people that are really passionate about this work. It’s not just a job, it’s not, it’s actually a career, it’s a. So I think that’s what I’ve been able to gather together and when I think about 21 years now, almost, that we’ve been going as connecting families you know that’s a long time for one service and I don’t see it ending anytime soon and so that collective wisdom just grows and grows and grows. And I think that’s why we are successful, because A the values and the attitudes and the beliefs, but also the skill set that people develop over time and then can pass on to each other is immeasurable. I don’t know how you measure that, I don’t know how you replicate it, and you know I feel really lucky to have this group of people around me.

Colby: 41:11

So I think, that?

Sally: 41:11

yeah, that’s why.

Colby: 41:13

I think, yeah, yeah, thank you for that. I think what you’re what I’m hearing you say is the importance of a team that is aligned in their approach to practice and speaks with a consistent voice, and I think there is something very psychologically safe about teams where people are all on the same page and aligned in their practice. People are all on the same page and aligned in their practice. I think, you know, in some respects we celebrate diversity, but also I think we need to acknowledge that teams work well in this kind of way of being aligned and supportive of each other and speaking with a collective voice. I think the collective voice provides is authoritative in the work that we do, and I think you mentioned I go back to one of your responses about the Churchill Fellowship we think about.

Colby: 42:36

We’ve talked a little bit about in our backwards and forwards conversation here, about things that are really powerful in, you know, factors in human behavior and and um, the way in which people approach life and relationships. We thought a bit about the role and importance of shame, um, but also validation. You know, the, the, the experience that, um, that we’re not just the only one thinking and working in this way, that our thoughts and beliefs and approach are valid, are acceptable, are worthy. These are very powerful conditions, I think, in which to, in our shared areas of endeavour, approach the work with as much psychological safety as we can muster to protect ourselves, because it is a difficult area of endeavour and when you’re working over a long period of time, I don’t think you can do it. I don’t think you can do it without depleting yourself drastically if you don’t have a team and peers who, as you say, have got your back but who also believe in what you believe in.

Sally: 44:12

Yeah, yeah, and I think also it can challenge you, you know, because you know I often think about, you know, the work of Eileen Munro and you know her talking about, you know the sort of I can’t remember the actual quote, but the most protective thing is to admit that you might have got it wrong. And I think, and I in child protection work, you know, and I think that having a team around where we can talk about, you know, you can get different perspectives on things. You can be going. You know, am I missing something here? You know, I think that having a collective voice is not just about being, you know, gee, we’re all right, and that’s not what I mean, and it’s really more around saying we want to come at things with rigour. You know, we want to make sure we’re doing things properly and right and thoroughly, and I think when you’re on your own you can lose that objectivity. You know you, basically it’s good to, it’s healthy to have people around to sort of go. Yeah, I’m not quite sure about that.

Colby: 45:31

So we do a lot of co-working in this as well.

Sally: 45:33

A lot of the team, you know, will work with two practitioners. Sometimes we might have a family where they might end up with five of the team because someone’s doing Marta Mayo, someone’s doing Circular Security of the team, because someone’s doing mud and mayo, someone’s doing circular security, tracy might be doing, you know, a relapse prevention plan around substance misuse. So they’re seen by a lot of people in the team and we don’t always agree about where the families are on their and the progress that they’re making, and I think that’s really healthy.

Colby: 46:07

It is. I agree, and I guess most people who talk about teams, I would anticipate talk about the importance of having diversity of background and diversity of beliefs and opinions. And yet I would say that those things are fantastic where there is a secure base within the team. And the secure base is one that regulates shame or is non-shaming. The secure base is one where we feel of togetherness and connection and belonging. And in another podcast shout out to Lynn Pateman, her Success is Never Accidental podcast I talked about how teams are very functional. Teams are very much like an attachment relationship and I think, in order to explore other ideas, to take risks, to explore other ideas to take risks carefully managed risks, to make mistakes, own up to them, learn from them, move on from them you need the security that we’re talking about, the psychological safety that we’re talking about yeah, yeah safety that we’re talking about, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sally: 47:48

I think the um, the preparedness to be vulnerable and know that you can be vulnerable in that space and people will will just um, hold you really in that and and for me it’s very much a parallel process about what we’re trying to do with families is to is to support them to be vulnerable, um, but to feel that that there’s safety in doing that. So, and there’s.

Colby: 48:18

That’s very much aligned with what a, what a an attachment relationship is. Yeah, looks like what attack. What we’re talking about with attachment Attachment is about a relationship in which the person can be vulnerable or is vulnerable and can orient to someone who is able to support them, protect them, respond to their needs and create a situation and a circumstance where the person can grow.

Sally: 48:56

Yeah.

Colby: 49:01

So just moving on, because it’s been a long chat already, although I’m aware that there are podcasts out there that run to three hours.Sally: 49:10

Oh, my goodness yeah.

Colby: 49:13

But I wanted to ask you what advice you would give to your younger self starting out in your professional journey now and you’ve made some reference to it, but perhaps if you could just expand upon that- yeah, um, look, lots of things, probably, colby.

Sally: 49:35

Yeah, look, I feel like I have touched on something, you know, certainly I don’t think I ever thought that I knew everything back then anyway, but I but I would certainly be saying to myself, you know, you’re going to learn a lot along the way. Um, you know that this is, this is continuous learning and continuous growth, and in fact, you’re going to change your mind about things as well, and that’s okay, you know, because you know, some of our ideas are shaped and we haven’t really had enough time to actually think about. Really, really Do I really think that you know? So I think that, and I know we had talked about this once before, but I? I that there’s not a hierarchy of knowledge.

Sally: 50:23

I think, when I was a younger social worker, starting out and this is no offense to psychologists, you know, I think you know, but you know, there was, there was always this thing, and there still is, that psychologists trump social workers in terms of, or then you know, psychiatrists trump psychologists and doctors are somehow the medical profession, are revered and they can never get it wrong. I don’t hold that to be true anymore and that’s not to be disrespectful about any of those professions. I, you know, have respect for all of them, but I have respect for my own and I have respect for the knowledges and wisdom that comes with people who have practised things for a very long time. So I don’t feel so. I think what I would say to my younger self is don’t be intimidated by those other knowledges. They’re valid and they’re, but they’re not the only way of thinking about things, and your way is just as valid.

Colby: 51:35

You know I probably hold.

Sally: 51:37

You know, these days I hold great respect for people, you know, like yourself, like other practitioners, who have stuck it out and have an immense amount of knowledge and wisdom. And you know and I see people in the Department for Child Protection here that have been there for, you know, 30, 35 years and doing a hard job, and I respect them that they’ve stayed there and done that and they have a lot of knowledge. You know so that, and you know it’s okay to make a mistake.

Colby: 52:22

What I really liked. I liked all of that answer, but I think the acknowledgement that you will change your mind, and I think two things about long careers. One is that you’re never going to have the same view. I think or at least it’s healthy to not have the same view a year down the track, five years down the track, 10 years down the track than you have right now. Five years down the track, 10 years down the track than you have right now. You need to be open to that and prepared to accept that with experience and observation, you are going to change your thinking and opinions about things unless you have a very rigid adherence to what you and who would? Who would argue that, uh, it is healthy to maintain a rigid adherence to what you knew when you were fresh out of university or first in this, I don’t know that anyone would um would do that.

Sally: 53:32

Wouldn’t we call that?

Colby: 53:33

stuckness. Yes, you know similarly and I have changed my position on things across a long career, in particular, one area that has been particularly influential with me, for me, two areas actually. One is working very closely with families that are on the cusp of statutory intervention and the validity and importance of intervening in those circumstances where you know it’s 50-50 as to whether statutory authorities should and could get involved. The other area that has been very influential for me is working with care leavers and, in particular, seeing care leavers that I and, in particular, seeing care leavers that I knew as children taken into care. So both of those areas have been very influential in my position.

Sally: 54:46

Yeah.

‘Colby: 54:47

As I’m sure it is with others.

Sally: 54:49

Yeah, yeah, we’ve got a family at the moment in the service. That is for Mac, one of the workers in the team.

Colby: 54:58

fourth generation the oldest of the family. Yeah, yeah.

Sally: 55:05

So you know the dad was an injured infant actually back when, and so we worked with his parents. I was the manager of the team at that point. This is back in anglicare days and then mac had worked with the. This dad’s father was in residential care and then, so mac had met the great well I don’t know, we were just like, yeah, well we’ve been.

Sally: 55:36

We’ve been at this for too long, we’ve been getting to this, but, you know, it was really interesting because this dad, you know, when Mac realised that you know he was who he was, you know we talked about it and I said you have to tell him, you have to let him know that you knew him as a baby, and which he did, and um, and that worked. You know that that was fantastic because they, you know, um, they’ve formed a really close connection actually now and um, and this dad has successfully had his three children returned to his care and is doing really well, you know, and I think that longevity of you know of him, knowing that Mac knew his story, was very helpful, you know. So, whilst it was sad, it was also really it was fortuitous that Mac was the one that you know coincidentally picked it up.

Sally: 56:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I do think that those knowing what’s up, you know, I think that’s the other thing, colby, that I think I, I think I always knew this, but I know it far more powerfully now is that the decisions that we make, the the, the things that we write, the recommendation recommendations that we make about families, have long-lasting impact. So, therefore, think very, very carefully about what you write, what you decide, because it you know it has consequences, and I know that to be so true now that I probably didn’t know as strongly back then. Yeah, because you know, I even think back to families where we recommended that children go into long-term care. That would I do the same now? Probably not, you know, even though they weren’t fantastic home situations, they were better than what got provided in the long run. So I’d probably go back and undo some of the things that I If we could, if I could.

Sally: 58:07

Based on the knowledge that I had at that time, I was probably doing what I felt was the right thing.

Colby: 58:13

Yeah, yeah, similarly, sally. That’s, I think, a very powerful and great place to bring our conversation to a close. Thank you very much for agreeing to be on my podcast, and maybe in the future we might get you back to talk a little bit more about some of this and similar.

Sally: 58:40

No, that would be good. Thank you, colby, it was a good conversation.

Colby: 58:44

Yeah, awesome. Thanks, Sally.